On the 5th Day of Christmas…. aka Everybody Hates Raymond

I want to own the rights to the CBS television show “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Is it because I’m a huge “Raymond” fan? In a word, NO! I absolutely despise that show. I hate “Everybody Loves Raymond” with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. If given a choice between watching “Raymond” or having toothpicks forcibly shoved under my fingernails, I would choose the toothpicks. That show is the television equivalent of torture. Now that they are no longer making new episodes it seems to be on 24/7! There are enough episodes broadcast each day that if the networks combined them they could have a 24 hr “Raymond” channel. What’s not to hate? Every plot is the same. Raymond does something stupid. Debra is unbelieveably bitchy to him. Robert is jealous of Raymond. Raymond tries to compensate for his first mistake, but only makes more mistakes to compound his misery. Debra is unbelieveably bitchy to him. Then he tries to get Debra to have sex with him. A perfect end to that series might have been an episode where Raymond finally snaps and kills Debra. And damn, if those two little twin boys didn’t have the biggest foreheads! If I hate it so much much, why do I want to own the rights to it? The answer is simple. If I owned the rights to that show, another episode would never see the light of day. I would destroy every recorded copy of every episode of the entire series. I would offer money for people to give me their home recorded copies of “Raymond” episodes so that I could destroy them. If I were to successfully to do away with that show for good I believe I would be raising the I.Q. of every person on the planet by at least 3 points. That would be worth a Nobel prize. I don’t ask for much. Is this an unreasonable Christmas wish?

13 responses to “On the 5th Day of Christmas…. aka Everybody Hates Raymond

  1. Really?I mean, I don’t love the show, but it’s not that bad is it?

  2. I was never a Raymond fan either, but I can’t imagine hating his show like that. Maybe it is just a bit of Raymond envy. I mean, common, if the scripts were exactly the same, the show was called “Everybody Loves Phil”, you were the main character, and you were a multimillionaire because of the 24/7 syndication would you still feel the same?? Just curious?

  3. What I am gathering here Phil is that some day a little blue haired lady is going to slowly drive over your body in her powdered blue time machine, while shouting, “Daylight savings help keep me awake while I watch my favorite program Everybody Loves Raymond. That’s your Christmas reality TV, beotch!” Lois Lane

  4. Not feeling you today. “Heather loves Raymond.”

  5. Yes it is highly stereotypical but it’s funny. If we take out Raymond, we should take out all other things that are based on stereotypes. We might have no TV.-N

  6. I tried to get through one episode of Raymond..Never made it to the end. The same goes with that show Cheers. Capital B to me.

  7. I don’t know, Phil, whilst it’s not my favourite show, it’s not that bad …. I mean, toothpicks up the fingernails – wow, that’s bad. I actually know families very much like that one … how sad is that !!!

  8. > that show CheersOops I meant Fraser.

  9. For someone who’s never seen it, you seem to know an awful lot about it. Names of characters and basic plot lines. LOL….I’ve never seen it, so i’ll have to take your word.

  10. Michelle loves Raymond…actually i love Frank!Phil, are you turning into Scrooge for Christmas?Hey its great to catch up on all of your posts :o)

  11. Princess- I never said I hadn’t seen the show, I just said I hated it.Michelle- Welcome back, it’s nice to see you back online.

  12. Phil – OH So sorry…..well et me rephrase. for someone that HATES it so much, you seem to know an awful lot about it….if you hated it so much, why did you watch it more than once?

  13. If you managed to achieve this dream, you would be granting my wish, too. I’ve never understood why that show lasted as long as it did!

Leave a Reply