Why Me? Why Me?

The Olympic opening ceremonies are on television as I write this. Am I patriotic? You bet. Am I watching the opening ceremonies? Absolutely not! Is it just me or are the Olympic opening ceremonies just a cross between an elaborate drama club production and a marching band half-time show? Not only am I not interested in the opening ceremonies, but the Olympics in general are the equivalent of televised Liquid NyQuil. You can’t possibly get me to believe that virtually every Olympian has overcome decades of great personal tragedy to reach their lofty goal.

Olympic Announcer 1: “Welcome to Torino, Italy. Here we are at the first round of the 10,000 Meter Cross Country Skiing Championship. The favorite in the event is the Swede, Signard Snuffleupagusmussen.”
Olympic Announcer 2: “Very few people know this, but Signard had to overcome decades of great personal tragedy to reach his lofty goal.”
Olympic Announcer 1: “You don’t say? How unusual!”
Olympic Announcer 2: That’s right Announcer 1. As a child, Signard was afflicted with near paralyzing ingrown toenails. His doctors told Signard’s parents that it was possible that little Signard would have to wear open-toed shoes forever. His hopes of being an Olympic cross-country skier looked hopeless. “
Olympic Announcer 1: “Also, in a frigid, Nordic country such as Sweden, there is no season good for open-toed shoes. Fortunately for the viewers we have a 30-minute video clip of Signard training with his specially made open-toed ski boots. What courage it must have taken!”

Ok, I caved and watched a bit of the opening ceremonies as I wrote this. All I’ve got to say is that the Winter Olympics need to be cancelled because apparently there isn’t a country in the world that can find a good looking winter hat for their teams to wear. Also, I’m moving to Albania. They only had 1 Olympian. I’m pretty sure I could make the team there. The best thing that ever happened to the Olympics was when Tonya Harding and her posse tried to re-arrange Nancy Kerrigan’s kneecap. If they really wanted to do Nancy a favor they would have knocked out some of those horse sized chiclets she calls teeth.

12 responses to “Why Me? Why Me?

  1. This is so true…I heard on a news program today about the massive amount of money involved in becoming an Olympian. Thousands of dollars per day for the training. Trust me, if you have enough money to spend thousands of dollars per day on the training, the only personal tragedy is that you haven’t bought me a house and a car yet.

  2. Nancy Kerrigan needs to go away.I saw a clip of Tanya Harding on Entertainment Tonight and she porked out.Why do I care about either of these women?Morbid curiosity i guess!

  3. You want to be an Olympian? Move to the Virgin Islands right away. Their one Olympic athlete is a 52 year old grandmother luger. She’s not long for this world, so you could step right in. And you know the Virgin Islands have a more congenial year round climate than Albania. Maybe we could team up for the doubles luge. I call top.

  4. I don’t know…I still find the excitement fun…and the fact that you get to see some of the local colour when they show the town is cool. And I love listening to people speak Italian…so I was a happy camper.-N

  5. Obviously, some of us had nothing better to do on a Friday night. LOL

  6. Have you seen Tonya Harding lately?? She is humongous!!!!I didn’t watch either so you’re not the only loser. :0)

  7. lolNancy Kerrigan looks like a horse.It’s funny cause it’s true.

  8. Tidy Bowl and Linny- Thanks for the Tonya update.Bobciz- Who do you think you’re talking to? This is seriously not Brokeback Blog.Natalia- Honestly, I like the Olympics. It’s just my Blog Scrooge persona coming out.Kim- You are correct. I had nothing else to do.Berly- See? Who still doesn’t love the Tonya/Nancy story?

  9. OMG!!! That is too funny!! I didn’t watch the Opening Ceremonies either, too much better stuff to watch that night!!! Tawnya

  10. thank you , i needed this on monday morning!!

  11. You’re welcome Doni. Glad to help.

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