Guns Don’t Kill People, Vice-Presidents Do!

This was a story that definitely didn’t need me to add any punchlines. Yes, ironically our Vice-President shot his friend when they were out Dan Quayle hunting. Apparently Dick Cheney is a big supporter of the NRA. At this point I’m guessing that his hospitalized friend is thinking that Vice-President Cheney’s first name is rather appropriate. The next time Dick Cheney shows up at a peace conference to negotiate some type of settlement I’m betting that the other world leaders cave in pretty quickly. Two days ago I was worried that I’d be attacked by Muslims for making a Mohammed joke, now I’m terrified that Dick Cheney will find me. Apparently their Brokeback Mountain trip didn’t turn out like they planned. See? I knew they never should have televised the Olympic Biathalon! Dick Cheney is what, about 107 years old? His victim was 78. What the hell were these two old crackpots doing wandering around the woods carrying guns?

18 responses to “Guns Don’t Kill People, Vice-Presidents Do!

  1. Got to love your Bill of Rights!(Kisses the ground Oz doesn’t have one 🙂 )

  2. It was just a little gun fire. He’s gonna be alright. 😉

  3. LOL love the post Phil 🙂Hey our local talk radio hosts asked a question yesterday“what would you rather do: go hunting with dick cheney or take a drive in the country with ted kennedy?”Duh..I’m a woman, of course it’d be Cheney. Hey I might wind up with a face full of birdshot but at least I’d be ALIVE!

  4. on our news here they said, the guy didn’t announce himself when he came up behind the vice president, apparently when you think you hear quail you just turn around and randomly open fire before you see what it is.

  5. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  6. Oh god….Americans and their guns. It jsut goes to show that even though your consititution says everyone has the right to bear arms, doesnt mean that everyone SHOULD. Vice president….LOL…those people run your country, and they’re out shooting their friends. We’ve seen what they’ve done to their enemies…it was only a matter of time.

  7. I’m sure there were some who were hoping that Dubya was along on that hunting trip, and that Cheney was wielding an M16 instead of a shotgun loaded with birdshot. One can only fantasize…….

  8. are we certain this was an accident and not some lover’s quarrel?

  9. Michelle and Princess- I’m not a big fan of just anybody having weapons. It obviously leads to a lot of trouble. The right to bear arms might as well be the right to arm bears. The bears would probably be more responsible.Berly- Is there such a thing as a little gun fire?Jessica- Love the Ted Kennedy reference. That never gets old. Doni- Apparently all men are pretty random about where we point any long, cylindrical object we have.Leighann- Thank you! Same to you.Bob- I completely agree with you on this one. I may invite President Bush to go hunting with me. Maybe afterward Ted Kennedy could drive him home just to be safe.Chloe- Hence the Brokeback joke. It’s nice to see you again!

  10. love the way you once again tied in Brokeback Mountain! gotta admit this is so comedically tragic….something that can only occur here in the United States where any idiot can own a gun. oh my did i just call Cheney an idiot? What was i thinking?

  11. Hi Sunny, Like I said, there really was no need for me to add any punchlines to this one. Thanks for stopping by!

  12. “Guns Don’t Kill People, Vice-Presidents Do!” Just so you know, he’s not dead….”YET”!

  13. Well crafted. Not too many obvious puns there.Dick Cheney: Armed and cranky.

  14. I wonder whether this will make the High School history books. It should. It’ll give the kids a good laugh.

  15. Kim- I know he’s not dead yet, but you never know when Cheney might sneak in to finish him off.Debbiecakes- Welcome back. Long time no see!Gary- Good idea. Someone should make a history book of the biggest mistakes in history. That would be entertaining.

  16. This was a funny post. I can only imagine what the Dems are saying about him now. Are we sure he is serched when he goes into the White House or Congress and if not, maybe they should!! He might go postal on some one there. lol. Tawnya

  17. I always knew dick cheney was pure evil. This confirms it. If that were Bill Clinton, they would have impeached him. Blowjobs = bad; Guns and kiling people = good

  18. Ok, I don’t mean to be the wet blanket here, but does no one feel sorry for the victim? I grudgingly admit that I have laughed at a few jokes about this, but I feel guilty afterward. After all, someone very well could have died. Sorry to rain on the parade, and nice blog by the way. 🙂

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