More Random Phil Thoughts

1. If Big Bird were to catch the bird flu, he could wipe out all of Sesame Street.

2. Does a York Peppermint Patty or a Junior Mint qualify as a breath mint?

3. Why do women curl their eyelashes? Not once have I ever looked at a woman and thought, “She’d be really pretty if her eyelashes weren’t so straight.” Ladies, believe me, you can give up eyelash curling and no one will ever notice. Throw away those stupid little tools. Like shaving your legs, I’m betting a man working for a cosmetics company came up with that stupid idea.

4. What should I do with my hair and my face? I look pretty much like my picture there, but I think the haircut and goatee are getting a bit old. Any suggestions?

5. On some of your blogs some of you ladies wonder why you’re still single. If you acted as happy to see us as our dogs do you’d be married in a New York minute. We love all that jumping up and down, panting and licking our faces.

6. Just this morning I noticed that my hair conditioner has “sea algae extract” as an ingredient. How do they know that sea algae is good for your hair? I’ve never seen a hairy fish. They’re all bald. Maybe it’s because of the sea algae!

20 responses to “More Random Phil Thoughts

  1. Yes, I was intentionally provoking women with that last one. I know, I know, you’d jump up and down panting if you could find a good man.

  2. LOL! I think one night with our incredible farting dog would change your mind. 😉

  3. 1. Oh, I hope so!!!!2. Ummm….NO!3. Not sure why some women curl them, but maybe they find them unmanagable so this is how they tame them….who knows.4. You could try a brown paper bag…LOL…that was totally a joke!!5. I am not single, but if I were I know that the jumping, panting and licking are not what you are looking for. Men just want a good hump!

  4. You could get hair extensions. That would be very Jessica Simpson!Or stay the same. You are fine the way you are. Unless you want to change and that would be ok. Great help, aren’t I?The only time I would do that last comment is if I was trying to get in the bathroom!

  5. 1) It’s true it’s true! See even the Boston Globe says so. Camilla the Chicken over at the Muppets got it too and passed it on to Grover..oh the humanity. On a good note though, the backup singing cows from Sesame Street and Auntie Melba’s Cow Chorus from the muppets have agreed to go to anger management classes to offset the effects of mad cow disease!I don’t know if it would qualify as a breath mint…I’ve never been able to eat a York Peppermint Patty — c’mon, I read Charley Brown…that’s cannibalism dangit!Curl them? Heck, I’m happy if I don’t burn them off starting the campfire. Now the shaving thing I have to disagree…ewwww on hairy legs on women….I’d rather suffer through funding Gillette (I mean c’mon, they even make vibrating razors now ;~) lol ) and the monthly brazilian.4) Well now, kinda hard to tell from the teeeeny tiny lil picture, but if you’re looking for a change …go for it..just Don’t grow your hair all long and stuff… MEN shouldn’t have long hair.5) Hmm, well, I’m thinkin workin 7 days a week has more to do with bein single than anything….and if’n you want me to lick your face…add shaving off the goatee to #4 ;~)(Oh, and btw… havin to make a eBlogger Blog just to be able to make a comment? pffft…pain in the tushy)

  6. Phil, My eyelash curler is very important to me. I have thick lashes so when I curl them they I can just use a little mascarra, if I don’t curl them they look funny.I like your face just how it is, but maybe you should to blonde.

  7. Oh, and thanks for this ( Phil :~)

  8. My guess is that you’re bored, and haven’t got much to say, hmmmmm !!!Don’t change, Phil, we like you as you are !!Take care, Meow

  9. I tried the eye lash curler once..Nearly took half of them out..Ouch..Never again.#2..A breath mint with added chocoate..Most definatly. 😉

  10. Are you going to be okay over there??

  11. Our lashes look more flattering when they’re curled. It’s part of the whole package…you’re a guy, you wouldn’t understand.

  12. Hey, when I look at a woman, it’s not her eyelashes that matter, it’s what’s inside that counts. ………HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA! woo, that was tough. I tried to type that with a straight face, but I couldn’t pull it off. No really, I mean it.

  13. about number 6: men are so ignorant. sea algae is GOOD for hair. Have you seen any mermaids having a bad hair day? no, there you go.

  14. …your commute to work is just too long darlin’…. but fun thoughts to ponder nonethelessthink i would like to experiment with #2 just to find out 😉

  15. …I like big Bird.

  16. Big bird frightens me.Honestly, no bird is suppose to be THAT big.

  17. I can relate to some of your problems, Phil.—My hemmorhoid cream has shark liver oil in it. Who woulda figured? All I know is I keep sliding out of bed.—I’ve tried a million things and I’m still ugly. Eyelash turner-upper included.—I have scientifically determined the human symptoms of bird flu:< HREF="" REL="nofollow">Dr. Charlie Schweitzer on Bird Flu<>I just dropped in from Attila’s blog and had to open my big mouth while I was here.

  18. Thanks for stopping by Attila and Dr. Schweitzer. Any relation to Albert?

  19. OMG- HI-LARIOUS! Love the Big Bird bit! VERY thought provoking questions, Phil!!~ Fab

  20. LMAO @ your comment!Maybe i’m too vein, but i will never stop waxing my legs or shall i ditch the curler!

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