I post a brief essay on the narcissism of blogging and I’m overwhelmed by comments from Canadians. Apparently Canada is the most narcissistic country on Earth. To me they have always seemed to be a quiet and unassuming country. Our “neighbor to the North” is what we Americans call them when we want to be politically correct, or if we want to run a pipeline all the way through your country from top to bottom. Canada is a country not known for it’s participation in military conflicts or for political turmoil. I mean really, it’s hard to go to war with a bunch of Dudley Do Right clones riding in on horseback in bright, red uniforms. If that doesn’t say “target practice” to an enemy I don’t know what does. Politics? It strikes me that Canada may be a very lazy country when it comes to politics. Canada was once owned by England. They’re not anymore, but guess who’s queen is still on their money? Did the government just say, “Ah, screw it. If we change the money it will just confuse people.” The province of Quebec, the province that speaks French, is always making noise about seceding to become their own country. Have they ever seceded? No. Has the national government of Canada insisted they stop whining and start speaking English already? No. You know how we’d handle it in the States? Quebec would be given an ultimatum. If you secede we will go to war and make you get back into line. If you don’t secede, you’d better start speaking English or we go to war to make you speak English. Then again, I don’t think the Quebec residents are going to be too fearful of Dudley Do-Right.
Ok, I realize that this post will likely spark hundreds of comments from my Canadian blogging friends, giving me history lessons on Canada, extolling the virtues of the great white north, and also ripping me a new one. All of that will be deserved of course, but I hope none of you takes any real offense. I’m just teasing, and I only tease the ones I love. The real irony is that my high school song was done to the tune of your national anthem, Oh Canada, a fact I didn’t know until long after high school. Don’t be too harsh on me, I live close enough that I could be in your country in just and hour and 15 minutes. You don’t want that to happen do you?