Category Archives: Current Events

Psychic Phil Strikes Again!

I hate to say I told you so. OK, no I don’t. I love to say I told you so.

Remember my January 1st post My Psychic Predictions for 2017 ? If not feel free to click that link and read it. Go ahead. I’ll wait. ………..You back? Good. See? On January 1st of this year I predicted that Princess Kate would get pregnant again and the world will lose it’s collective minds when we find out it’s twins. The rumors are out there that it is twins. I’ve got the first half right. Time will tell if I nailed the landing.

Also just to update my other predictions at the halfway point in the year:

The world did not end, exactly as I predicted.

People will lose interest in the Kardashians: Who? Exactly!

The United Kingdom will try to #UnBrexit: The most recent election results were underwhelming for Prime Minister Theresa May, indicating that the public is not happy with her leadership. There is published speculation that England my try to reverse this colossal blunder. Sounds like Psychic Phil may have nailed this one too. BTW, #unBrexit is a hashtag on Twitter just as I predicted it would be 6 months ago. You’re welcome.

Kim Kardashian will fall for another: She’s still married to Kanye, but how long can this possibly go on? Apparently not for much longer according to this article from May which seems to indicate I got this prediction right too.

Donald Trump will resign from the Presidency: I predicted this weeks before he even took office. Doesn’t seem so far fetched now does it?

Celebrity Deaths: Not that I’m rooting to be right on these, but Betty White, Marvel Comics icon Stan Lee, and Queen Elizabeth. Rumors have been swirling about the Queen’s health…

Well? What do you think? It seems like my psychic predictions are all looking pretty good so far. Should I start a separate psychic predictions blog?

Have a great Friday!  ( I know you will. Well, not you. I was talking to her over on the left) ~Phil

Do We Have The Right To Free Speech Even If It Offends?

tmz.com

“It was just a joke!” or “I was only kidding!” Those were always my responses as a kid when I had offended someone. This past week that was also the response of comedienne Kathy Griffin after she posted a picture of herself with a fake, apparently decapitated President Donald Trump head. The United States collectively lost their minds over the stunt. Kathy Griffin was fired from CNN on which she had a very successful New Years Eve show with Anderson Cooper. Sponsors of her comedy tour and shows cancelled their contracts. Her current stand up comedy tour is in shambles after venues have cancelled her. Personally, I shrugged my shoulders until I gave a little more thought to the national reaction.

charliehebdo.fr

In January 2015 Islamic terrorists stormed the offices of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, killing twelve people and injuring eleven others. The provocation for this attack was a cartoon of religious leader Muhammed which was considered offensive.

Sony Pictures and imdb.com

In December 2014 Seth Rogen released his comedy movie that focused on a U.S. Central Intelligence Agency plot to assassinate North Korean leader Kim Jon-un using two inept journalists who had landed an interview him. The movie did very well in the United States. Six months prior to release of the movie the North Korean government threatened action against the United States if the movie were allowed to be released. Columbia Pictures delayed the release and edited the film to be more acceptable to North Korea. A month before the release of the movie the computer systems of Sony Pictures, which is Columbia Pictures parent company were hacked by a group that the Federal Bureau of Investigation said had ties to North Korea.

So wait, let me get this straight, everybody in the United States condemned Kathy Griffin for a tasteless joke, but we all thought it was funny when Seth Rogen and James Franco made a comedy about trying to kill another country’s leader? Either both were offensive, or neither was. We can’t have it both ways.

The United States Constitution’s First Amendment gives us the right to free expression. Kathy Griffin isn’t being prosecuted for her “joke” but at the same time is suffering career altering consequences. So, we do have the right to make jokes, but there’s no law protecting us from unintended consequences of those jokes. My issue isn’t with her joke, it is with the attitude of those who didn’t condemn a joke about killing a foreign leader, but did condemn a joke about killing our own leader.

This also brings into question our freedom of speech. If I make a bad joke at work, on my blog or in a book I write, should my employer have the right to fire me like Kathy Griffin’s did? At what point do jokes go too far? Can they go too far if they are “only jokes”? If something appalling is done in the name of art, whether it be comedy, songs, or paintings, should there be some standards which apply and are enforced? Should someone be policing the internet where all types of tasteless and offensive things are posted every day? If I post an offensive rant on my blog, should WordPress have the right to take it down against my wishes?

I know this wasn’t funny as my Saturday posts usually are, but I’m seriously curious as to what everyone else thinks about the Kathy Griffin controversy and the questions I asked in the last paragraph.

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! A Spell Checkmate? What’s Your Kabaragoya?

WXYZ.com

In “honor” of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, which is going on this week, I post this annually. I wonder if #covfefe will be a word this year.

)5/31/14) See what I did there with the title? That was clever right? For the first time in 52 years the Scripps National Spelling Bee ended in a tie. 

Kabaragoya? That’s what’s wrong with the spelling bee. There has never been, in the history of planet Earth a practical reason for anyone to use the word kabaragoya in any context. The fact that I’ve used it twice in this paragraph is already a new world record. Here’s your chance to win something. I’m trusting that you’ll be honest. The first commenter to tell me what the word kabaragoya means, without looking it up, wins a free copy of one of my books. All three are in e-book format and the two novels are also in paperback.

spelling

It’s a good thing the contest ended in a tie. I doubt that any single spelling bee contestant has the muscle mass required to lift that trophy by themselves. It ended in a tie? Apparently after the competition was whittled down to two, the contestants both spelled twelve words correctly before it was declared a tie. Really? Twelve words? Are you telling me there wasn’t an adult somewhere in that room that couldn’t have cracked open a dictionary and pulled out a few more words?  How about if you asked the contestants to spell the word “girlfriend” or “social life.” I’m pretty sure those are terms they’re not familiar with. Did they have to declare it a tie because the competition is so physically grueling that the contestants couldn’t go on? Were they worried that the audience was in danger of literally dying of boredom?

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that if the spelling bee is down to two contestants and they’ve both spelled two words correctly the tie will be broken by a physical competition. The first contestant to successfully demonstrate any actual dance move wins. Moonwalk, Gangam Style, Harlem shake, anything close wins.

Now I know that you may be thinking that I’m just a mean jerk for mocking these kids. I may be, or perhaps it’s just green eyed envy. I was almost one of them. Almost… That’s right, as a 13 year old I was my school’s alternate to go to the county spelling bee championships. Had I gone and won, it would have sent me to the state championship and then the National Spelling Bee. We took a written test that we never got back, so I don’t even know what my kabaragoya was. It will haunt me forever. One more correctly spelled word, or a convenient “accident” to my in school competitor and fame and fortune could have been mine. Instead I’ve just got this blog, so please leave a comment to help me overcome the demons of a spelling bee past that has scarred me lo these many years.

As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share by Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

You Were Wrong, Yes, YOU

Yes, you. You were  wrong yesterday. No, not the whole day. Just a tiny part of it. What part? The part where you voted on my Friday poll. If you didn’t, go ahead, scroll back, look at the poll, and feel free to vote or just think about what your answer would be. I’ll wait.

OK, done? Yes, you were wrong too. Yes, I said I would write about whichever subject got the most votes, but what I didn’t tell you was that you’re not the boss of me, and it’s my blog and I’ll write about whatever I want. I didn’t tell you that because I never imagined that so many would be so wrong. If I listened to all of you I’d have to write about the ridiculous, cartoonish, buffoonish, wanna be dictator who is currently employed at the White House.

In my poll results he was far and away the winner of who is having the worst year as far as public relations go. But that was just a poll, and you were wrong. Did I mention that? Your wrongness was astoundingly bad. As bad as Donald Trumps wrongness on nearly a daily basis. You were ‘navigator on the Titanic’ wrong. So, if you were wrong, as I’ve so eloquently established here, that begs the question, who is the right answer, Phil, or United Airlines? (And yes, I said Phil. It’s my blog and I’ll speak of myself in the third person if I want to. Phil doesn’t care what you think!)

Look, I’m sorry that you were wrong. Don’t worry, we all are sometimes. It’s just that most of the time some jackass with a blog doesn’t point it out to you in front of millions of readers. Just sip your coffee or tea and relax. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Rest secure in the knowledge that the next time that you’re this wrong, I probably won’t be there to point it out to you. Life will punish you.

Although one intrepid voter did give me credit for having the worst 2017 so far, I contend that United Airlines has had a worse year than Donald Trump or I. Why, you ask? I know that we’re all familiar with the scene depicted in the picture above of a passenger being forcefully dragged off of a plane because United wanted to fly their own employees somewhere. But, were you aware of all the other stupid things United Airlines has done this year? You’re not? Let me count the ways!

Another Scorpion reported on United Flight: This one came in just yesterday. Look, it’s ok if it happens once. Occasionally the stray, venomous, killer creature will slip onto a flight, (Donald Trump gets on Air Force One almost every day!) but notice the title says Another Scorpion! It’s happened already this year. United Airlines has a scorpion problem like Florida has an alligator problem.

United Airlines Forced Woman To Pee In a CupApparently on a flight earlier this week a woman had to pee really bad. We can all empathize with this, right? Whether it’s on a flight, in a work meeting, or in your car on a road trip, we’ve all had to go to the point where we worry we’re going to ruin a good pair of pants if we don’t find relief soon. Apparently this woman wasn’t allowed to go to the bathroom because the United flight attendants had the cart in the aisle to serve drinks . So, because they refused to let her go, she peed in a cup, then was reprimanded by the same flight attendants.

United Airlines Stopped Girls In Yoga Pants From Boarding FlightYes United Airlines, I know it’s your policy that anyone flying with a free ticket provided to them by a United Airlines employee has to adhere to the United Airlines dress code, but that is just stupid. Not allowing women on flights in yoga pants eliminates roughly half of all travelers. Also, 100% of men are in support of women in yoga pants. You’ve now made women and men mad and I’m pretty sure that most of your passengers are women or men. Also, yoga pants can be gender neutral and anyone can wear them. They make my ass look amazing.

So to summarize, United Airlines has scorpions, is opposed to yoga pants, but wants their passengers to pee their pants, and will occasionally brutalize passengers when their employees need a seat. That’s been their year. If I’m a competing airline, I’d be busy creating ads with people in yoga pants getting up and going to the bathroom on scorpion-free flights. Ok, this is enough words for one day. Yes, you were wrong, but now you’re an informed, and smarter reader. Oh, and please hit the Facebook share button below so that this eventually gets back to United Airlines. I’d love to write about them suing me. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

Friday Poll! United Airlines vs. Donald Trump

It occurred to me that both United Airlines and Donald Trump are taking a beating in their popularity ratings so far this year. But who has had it worse when it comes to public opinion? Your vote will decide what I make fun of tomorrow.

Have a great Friday! ~Phil

People Are Stupid So Why Should It Be…

People are people so why should it be that you and I should get along so awfully?  Well Depeche Mode, I’ll tell you why it should be. It’s because most of those people are either stupid or egregiously ego-centric, or probably both. Over the past two weeks I’ve traveled for work and then went on a vacation. The one constant between these two trip has been people. Mostly stupid people.

Walk This Way

A lot of people seem to have trouble walking. Not physical trouble, mind you. They’re up and walking about, but they walk like arrogant, self-centered jerks. You know that saying, Dance like no one is watching ? A lot of people walk like no one is in their way. Whether it be on a city street or at Epcot in Disney World, Last week at Epcot I wanted to punch at least thirty people in the throat because they just walked right at me in a stupor as if there was no one else in the world. Morons! They fix their eyes on on the burrito stand in Mexico Epcot and it’s full steam ahead in a direct line for their destination. If there is a short fence in front of these people they’d probably fall right over it. In a post from the distant past I referred to these as Hamster Ball People

We needed this rain

I was in Florida and on Tuesday I went to Epcot. About 5 minutes after I got there, the skies opened up as if Noah had just finished boarding all the animals.  Then the rain didn’t stop for at least 2-3 hours. The workers at Epcot were not in the least helpful. As I sloshed  from building to building in my waterlogged shoes I must have heard at least twenty of them say “This is good. We needed this rain. It’s been so dry.” I was tempted to scream at them, “NO! No WE didn’t need THIS RAIN! It’s my vacation! I come to Florida for sunshine and warmth! Everyone does. Shut up about the rain! Your only purpose in life when you live in Florida is to serve the tourists, and we don’t want ANY. FECKING. RAIN!!! These people also deserved a good throat punch, but since I was in the costliest happiest place on Earth, I didn’t do that.

washingtonpost.com

The Doomsday Clock: So this is a fun game. Just in case you weren’t aware, since World World II, the members of The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists have a clock that only they can adjust the time on and it’s sole purpose is to estimate how close the human race is to exterminating themselves. So last week, amidst the Trump/Russia/South Korea posturing, they moved the clock thirty seconds closer to midnight. Look at that picture. These guys look like loads of fun! They must have been thrilled to be in the news. For scientists though, their production quality leaves a lot to be desired. That’s it? That’s their graphic? A piece of cardboard? In about 5 minutes, 90% of all second grade children could have whipped up a kick ass power point with animated graphics. Oh, and scientists, thanks for your information. I believe that I spoke for all humankind a few weeks ago when I posted Hey Scientists! Shut The H#LL Up!

Well, that was my week. How was yours? Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

 

Throwback Saturday? Daylight Stupid Time

I hate Daylight Savings Time and since 2006 when I first wrote it, I have vowed to post this every time we change our clocks:

Daylight Stupid Time

This is my bi-annual reminder that this weekend in the U.S. we move our clocks ahead by an hour and my reminder that it’s stupid. I’ve been posting this every Fall and Spring since 2006 and will continue to do so until we do away with Daylight Savings Time.

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law getting rid of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know if other countries do this. I do know that not all the U.S. states abide by it. Daylight Savings Time was created about 100 years ago to give farmers more daylight in which to do their work in the fields. Call me crazy, but why the hell didn’t someone just suggest that the lazy ass farmers drag themselves out of a bed a little earlier each day? Because those cud chewing, overall wearing, udder jerking lay-abouts can’t be bothered to set their alarm clocks we’re all stuck changing time?

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but about 7 or 8 years ago the U.S. Congress, in another colossal waste of their time and our tax dollars, extended daylight savings time by a few weeks on either end. First off, why isn’t it called daylight spending time since we are using more daylight in the summer months? Secondly, at this point the farmers (except the creepy Amish ones) all have electricity and alarm clocks, which may not have been the case 100 years ago. I can get away with saying that about the Amish because my demographic data shows that for some reason I have very low readership among the Amish. I guess they just don’t get me. Reportedly the reason Congress did this is to save energy. How will changing our clocks twice a year save energy? Don’t we set our thermostats and use heat based on the outdoor temperature, not how light out it is? I’d like to save the energy I expend changing my clocks! I’d like Congress to tell me when I get that back. Congress has again proven to be the biggest collection of morons outside of…well…I guess I can’t think of a bigger collection. Why doesn’t Congress set their alarm clocks an hour earlier so they can get up early and get more of this important work done?

B.T. dubs, if we set our clocks back an hour now but we turn them ahead in the Fall, over the course of a year what difference does it make? If we learned anthying from Marty McFly it was that we shouldn’t muck about with time. Also, according to statistics the day after we change our clocks there are more workplace injuries, car accidents, and for the day, a 10% rise in heart attacks.

I for one am not going to go for this stupid daylight savings time thing anymore. I don’t work at a farm or for Congress, so I told my boss that for 6 months I’ll be to work an hour early or late, however it works out. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, this is going to change

If you’d like to support my bid for President or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook, Twitter or re-blog share button below, but hurry because you have an hour less to do it in this weekend. Or is it an hour more? Have a great weekend! ~Phil