Category Archives: Current Events

In Honor of the Queen

You may think I’m funny here occasionally, but apparently Queen Elizabeth was renown for her sense of humor. In a way, she and I were a match made in heaven. She was English and Scottish, and I’m of English and Scottish descent as well. And most importantly, we appreciate a good joke. That’s why I think that she would have enjoyed The Phil Factor. Who knows, she may have. My blog was once mentioned during an English bloggers interview on a radio show in the second largest city in England.

Pic courtesy of

Aside from our shared love of humor, Queen Elizabeth made many appearances on The Phil Factor over the years. Her first mention on this blog was in the post The Poop at Home People The fact that I didn’t hear any complaints from the Queen mum told me that she liked the attention she received from being on The Phil Factor.

She appeared again on The Phil Factor about a year and a half later in the post titled Brexit Stage Leftwhere I also joined her in this picture:

She found this quite funny. Her next appearance on #ThePhilFactor, was in one of the all time most popular Phil Factor posts titled: Who Wants Celebrity Nipples? I thought that might offend her, and was fearful of “disappearing” after a visit from Scotland Yard. But, I’m still here, so again, I assume that she enjoyed her growing notoriety in the blogosphere.

Another classic Queen Mum appearance came in my post If I Was The Royal Wedding Planner when Meghan and Harry got married four years ago. Seriously Liz, I apologize for the critique of your lime green outfit, but c’mon! You’re the effing Queen. Lime green is not a royal color.

Lovely Liz, as I call her, appeared on The Phil Factor again in March of 2019 in the post The Queen is Drunk Right Now . And you’re damn right that she liked a few cocktails every single day. She was the Queen, or the big Q as her friends called her. Four gin and tonics a day. Every. Single. Day.  The old gal could hold her liquor better than I could.

Thank you to reader Kim Steward for alerting me to THIS VIDEO from Huffpost that features her longtime security guard telling a very funny story about Queen Elizabeth meeting some Americans who did know who she was.

In my December 2020 Psychic Predictions for 2021 I speculated that Queen Liz was an alien who would live forever. Unfortunately, I was wrong on that one. I love the picture above this paragraph because it’s Queen Elizabeth laughing. She was crowned Queen of England at age 25 when her father, the king, passed away. I imagine that the crown felt particularly heavy on her young head, and yet for the next 70 years she was the epitome of grace and the symbol of a nation. In spite of that weight, or maybe because of it, she liked a good laugh. If I could I’d raise my glass, with gin and tonic, and toast her life. Thank you Elizabeth, you made the world a better place.


My Snap Judgement Oscar Awards & Psychic Predictions

Many of you are familiar with my previous Snap Judgement Oscar Awards where I give out my own Oscar Awards to the movies, actors, and actresses that I think really deserve the awards. I’m still going to do that, but this year, I’m adding a twist. I’m going to use my psychic talents. After telling you who I think really deserves the award based on my own idiotic reasoning, I will use my psychic powers to predict who I think the Academy will give their awards to. I’m only going to choose three in each category just to shorten this up. Without further adieu…

Top 3 Best Supporting Actress Nominees: Kirsten Dunst, The Power of the Dog; Judi Dench, Belfast; Ariana DeBose, West Side Story. The winner of my Snap Judgement Oscar Award is Kirsten Dunst for her work in the 2002 movie Spider-Man. She never got the credit she deserves for being the first to play Spider-Man’s girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson. Honestly, Tobey Maguire dragged that film down and Kirsten Dunst’s Oscar chances with it. My psychic prediction for the 2022 Oscar for Best Supporting Actress: Ariana DeBose in West Side Story.

Top 3 Best Supporting Actor Nominees: Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog; J.K. Simmons, Being the Ricardos; Troy Kotsur, Coda. The Phil Factor choice for this years Snap Judgement Best Supporting Actor Award goes to J.K. Simmons for his role as J. Jonah Jameson in the 2002 epic Spider-Man. If not for Tobey Maguire, he would have gotten that 2002 Oscar. In my world, if J.K. Simmons wants an Oscar, J.K. Simmons gets an Oscar. My psychic prediction for who the Academy will choose as Best Supporting Actor: Troy Kotsur for Coda.

Top 3 Best Actress Nominees: Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye;  Kristen Stewart, Spencer; Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos. Although Jessica Chastain has made the transition from women’s soccer to acting, she won’t be the choice for Best Actress. My personal choice for The Phil Factor Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actress is Kristen Stewart because she was smart enough to break up with Robert Pattinson, the worst Batman ever. Unfortunately for Kristen, my big psychic noggin says that the Best Actress Oscar goes to Nicole Kidman for her work overcoming the dead weight that was Tobey Maguire Val Kilmer in Batman Forever in 1995. It may not be Spider-Man, but it’s close enough.

Top 3 Best Actor Nominees: Benedict Cumberbatch, The Power of the Dog; Will Smith, King Richard; Andrew Garfield, Tick, Tick…Boom!. Woo! This category is loaded this year. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award es to Andrew Garfield for his role in Spider-Man: No Way Home in which he shined despite the presence of Oscar killer Tobey Maguire. Despite my Spider-Man love, my psychic prediction for Best Actor is Will Smith for King Richard and because we all still remember when Fresh Prince Will and Carlton did that dope dance number to Apache by the Sugarhill Gang.

This combination of photos shows promotional art for the films nominated for an Oscar for best picture, (Focus Features/Apple TV+, Netflix, Janus Films & Sideshow, Warner Bros. Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures, Searchlight Pictures, Netflix, 20th Century Films via AP)

Top 3 Best Picture Nominees (I have seen none of these movies):

The Power of the Dog: A Western based on a 1967 novel by Thomas Savage with the same title. It’s got a great cast and won a bunch of awards, but a Western?!!? I’m falling asleep just writing this paragraph about it.

Belfast: A movie about a boy growing up during a sort of civil war in Northern Ireland in 1969. If they could have made this about a boy growing up in war torn Ukraine, they’d have that Oscar in the bag already.

CODA: If you’re not familiar, CODA stands for Children Of Deaf Adults. This film is about a young girl trying to balance her desire to help her family’s struggling fishing business while pursuing her dream of going to college for singing. Yes, singing, not signing.

My  Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Picture goes to…Licorice Pizzaanother Best Picture nominee that is a sentimental, coming of age comedy/drama. I’m a sucker for coming of age comedies because, let’s face it, don’t we all identify with those movies?

My psychic prediction for the winner of the 2022 Oscar Award is The Power of the Dog, starring Benedict Cumberbatch who played the role of Dr. Strange in the December released movie Spider-Man: No Way Home

There you go. That’s all you need to know about the Oscars, including who will win. If I’m right on every one of these, you’ll never hear the end of it.

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Happy Holi to You! or होली होली टू यूज

I’d like to wish a sincere Happy Holi to my Hindu friends and Hindi speaking friends out there! Thank you for all your views of my blog over the past several years! For the rest of you, in India Holi is a holiday celebrated much like our St. Patrick’s Day. Different meanings, but similar celebrations.

Today the Hindu holiday of Holi began. It is the annual Spring festival of colors. So, why am I wishing a Happy Holi or होली होली to readers of my blog? Because I have many Hindi speaking readers. Just to be clear though, not all Hindi speaking people are Hindu and not all Hindus speak Hindi, but the majority of each is also the other, got it? Hindi is a language and Hindu is a religion.

So what exactly is Holi? It’s a Hindu Spring festival that celebrates the victory of good over evil and light over the darkness. It is a time of  forgiveness and repairing relationships. Holi is not only a celebration of Spring, it is also a known as The Festival of Love, celebrating the eternal love of Radha-Krishna, the masculine and feminine realities of God. And it involves drinking a lot of Feni, a lot of fireworks, and everyone getting covered in colorful powder. (If you click the THIS LINK you can watch a popular Indian TV series about the mythological story on Disney+)

So why do so many Hindi speaking people read my blog? Because of two posts about हिंदी सेक्स. Over the last several years my blog has become a hotspot for the Hindi speaking crowd. I imagine that in India there are entire internet message boards dedicated to discussing फिल फैक्टर (Phil Factor). What posts are those? I’m glad you asked:

Real Sexting Conversations to Read In Hindi? 


How Ron Burgundy Will Save Hindi Sex

The rest of this post will be in Hindi in deference to my many Hindi speaking readers and friends. होली मुबारक! फिल फैक्टर दुनिया का सबसे अच्छा ब्लॉग है! मेरी किताबें खरीदें और आप अपने सपनों के साथ मिलेंगे!

Have a great Friday! ~फिल (Phil)


Effing Daylight Savings is This Weekend

This is my bi-annual reminder that tonight in the United States we move our clocks forward by an hour and my reminder to you that it’s stupid. I’ve been posting this every Fall and Spring since 2006 and will continue to do so until we do away with Daylight Savings Time.


When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law getting rid of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know if all other countries do this. I do know that not all the U.S. states abide by it. Daylight Savings Time was created about 120 years ago to give farmers more daylight in which to do their work in the fields. Call me crazy, but why the hell didn’t someone just suggest that the lazy ass farmers drag themselves out of a bed a little earlier each day? Because those cud chewing, overall wearing, udder jerking lay-abouts can’t be bothered to set their alarm clocks we’re all stuck changing time?

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but about ten years ago the U.S. Congress, in another colossal waste of their time and our tax dollars, extended daylight savings time by a few weeks on either end.

First off, why isn’t it called daylight spending time since we are using more daylight in the summer months? Secondly, at this point the farmers (except the creepy Amish ones) all have electricity and alarm clocks, which may not have been the case 120 years ago. I can get away with saying that about the Amish because my demographic data shows that I have very low readership among the Amish. I guess they just don’t get me.

Reportedly the reason Congress did this is to save energy. How will changing our clocks twice a year save energy? Don’t we set our thermostats and use heat based on the outdoor temperature, not how light out it is? I’d like to save the energy I expend changing my clocks! I’d like Congress to tell me when I get that back. Congress has again proven to be the biggest collection of morons outside of…well…I guess I can’t think of a bigger collection. Why doesn’t Congress set their alarm clocks an hour earlier so they can get up early and get more of this important work done?


B.T. dubs, if we set our clocks ahead an hour now but we turn them back in the Fall, over the course of a year what difference does it make? If we learned anything from Marty McFly it’s that we shouldn’t muck about with time. Also, according to statistics,  the day after we change our clocks there are more workplace injuries, car accidents, and for the day, a 10% rise in heart attacks.

I, for one, am not going to go for this stupid daylight savings time thing anymore. I don’t work at a farm or for Congress, so I told my boss that for 6 months I’ll be to work an hour early or late, however it works out. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, this is going to change

If you’d like to support my bid for President or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook, Twitter share button below, but hurry because you have an hour less to do it in this weekend. Or is it an hour more? Have a great weekend! ~Phil


Throwback Thursday! Clown Lives Matter!

I’m posting this throwback post from 2016 because I love creepy clown stuff weirding people out.

Phil clown

Many of you are familiar with the current clown crisis in the United States. I would like to say that me reporting on it and a guy in Northampton, England who did it, were way ahead of the curve. Back in Sept. 2013 I wrote about the Northampton Clown.

If you’re not familiar with the “clown crisis” in the United States, first let me decrease your anxiety by stating that it has nothing to do with Donald Trump.

The clown crisis is a trend of people dressing as creepy clowns and behaving in somewhat menacing ways in random places towards random strangers. Imagine getting home from work after dark. You get out of your car and no one else is around. Suddenly a creepy clown steps out of the bushes or from between a couple nearby cars and starts walking towards you. Yeah, it’s stuff like that that’s been going on constantly all over the United States for about two months now.


It’s become such a trending topic that on Twitter Stephen King said:

Really Steve? You are completely responsible for people being afraid of clowns in the first place.


Guess what everybody? I’ve got a hunch that the clown crisis started as a publicity stunt for…a movie remake of IT that’s scheduled to be released next year. Yes, IT was a movie in 1990 and because Hollywood has run out of original ideas, they’ve made another one. It’s in post-production now. I’m thinking that some marketing genius decided to try to start kind of an underground Blair Witch-like independent buzz about scary clowns and hired some actors to pop up in creepy clown costumes. It worked, but it bred teenage idiotic copycats.

Sadly however, it’s always the children clowns that suffer. Yes, there is outcry from all over the country from “real” clowns that the recent outbreak of creepy clowns is scaring people away. Watch this short video interview:

Did he just say, “John Wayne Gacy. Nice guy as a clown, I’m told by clown people.”?!!?  First of all, who has “clown people” ? Although I’m sure many of you think I’m a clown people kind of guy, surprisingly I’m not.

Sadly, the mean, scary clown craze has ruined the clowning industry. According to an interview with Yo Yo the clown, of Syracuse, “These creepy clowns walking through the neighborhoods is really disturbing for us good clowns who just want to make people happy,” Yo Yo said. “There are a lot of good clowns out there.” Yo Yo, You’re damn right there are a lot of good clowns out there. So why don’t they do something about it? Why can’t the good clowns patrol our neighborhoods and fight the creepy clowns? I want a full on Clown War! Or at least a Netflix original series based on that premise.

I believe however that the creepy clown craze has just about run it’s cycle. How do I know this? Because there’s a #ClownLivesMatter movement. Just check the hashtag on Twitter. Someone has organized a #ClownLivesMatter peace walk in Arizona. Seriously, now we’re doing a 5K to support serious clowns? I can’t wait for the ribbon magnet to put on the back of my car. Of course if I do, I’ll be able to fit like 20 people in there.

Hey, just for fun, since I’ve used the hashtag #ClownLivesMatter, could all of you click either or both the Facebook and Twitter share buttons below? I’d love to see this post show up really high in the Google list when people do a search for #ClownLivesMatter. Have a great Thursday! Just don’t do  too much clowning around ~Phil

It’s A Small World After All or Зрештою, це маленький світ

Yes, I named this post after the worst ride ever. I like the spirit and intention of the ride, but for cripes sake we don’t need to be trapped on a boat listening to kitschy robots dressed in borderline insulting international costumes designed in 1964 singing that awful song at us for 20 minutes!

The spirit and intention of the ride is to highlight the fact that despite differences in languages, customs, and locations, we are all not that different. Instead of the ride, my blog and the war in Ukraine has brought that point home to me.

I love to look at my blog stats. It never ceases to amaze me how many people from so many countries visit my blog. In February alone I had visitors from 69 different countries. After the United States, Canada and England, all English speaking countries, visitors from India were the next most prevalent. Why? I don’t know. Why would Canada’s Secret Foot Fetish कनाडा के गुप्त पैर बुत interest someone from India?

I realize that English is the most spoken language in the world, but what could my ridiculous blog posts mean to people from Nepal? I get regular visits from Nepal. Are monks in a monastery in the mountains of Nepal reading फिल कारक and enjoying my posts about Amish Sex Positions अमिश सेक्स पोजिसनहरू ?

This pic is from Go on, click that. It’s a real website

Or what about folks from China? What the heck could The Poop at Home People  家里人的便便 mean to them?  Or why are the nice people of Turkey wondering what are The Top Ten Psychic Pickup Lines İlk On Medyum Toplama Hattı ?

What it means is that it really is a small world after all. People on the other side of the world are looking up the same stupid stuff that we are. People are more similar than different. As Depeche Mode so famously said, “People are people, so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully?

Right now, some of those people that are just like us and who laugh at the same stupid stuff on the internet are under siege in the Ukraine.

Where I live, we have a substantial Ukrainian population. One of my wife’s best friends is worrying every day about whether her elderly parents will be able to escape to safety. Here in the States we can’t take the refugees into our homes, but we can donate to international organizations that are taking care of those that have have fled their country to stay alive. Here is the website for Amnesty International. If you feel sad and helpless when you watch the news, here’s one way you can make a difference. It is a small world and they need our help.


How to Interpret Your Own Dreams

Picture credit:

Have you ever woken up from a vivid dream and thought, “What in the world is in my head that made me dream that?!!? Many sleep studies cited online recently indicate that more people are having more disturbing dreams. 

You may know me as a quirky blogger that writes funny stuff, but I also have a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and was a therapist for many years. I figured that rather than just hoping for a few chuckles at my usual jokes, it might be nice if I contributed something helpful to the online community. This is by no means a dissertation on dream interpretation, but it is a short summary of some of the basics so that you can learn a little bit about yourself through your dreams. 

1. The Two Types of Dreams: 

Type 1 dreams: Brain maintenance: Have you ever woken up from a dream and thought something like, “Why the heck did I just dream about running into Aunt Louise on a date with George Clooney at that new restaurant I’ve been wanting to go to?  During the course of our day our brain absorbs billions of sights, sounds, tastes, experiences etc. Despite the billions of brain cells that we have, it’s impossible for us to store information on every single iota of our daily experiences. Some dreams are just our brains taking out the trash. 

Let’s look at that dream about Aunt Louise. If you look back on the day before you may have seen your Aunt pop up in your Facebook feed. Later in the day your friend mentioned that new local restaurant you want to try. Then just before you went to bed you saw an old George Clooney movie as you scrolled through Netflix. During the night while you sleep, your brain is sorting through all the new information and deciding whether or not it is worth storing in your long term memory. I’m guessing your Aunt’s Facebook post and the George Clooney movie did not make the long term memory cut, but the name of that new restaurant did. 

This will be you after you finish reading this.

Type 2 dreams: Emotional Processing: Have you ever had a weird dream in which you were very anxious, fearful, or upset? Lots of people have dreams about being in public naked or in their underwear. Some of us dream about being chased and despite the threat we can only run soooo sloooow. Or, you may dream about falling. These kind of dreams can be unsettling and you may not know why your brain decided to upset you like that.  

These dreams are your brains way of trying to process and maybe provide a solution to a situation that is upsetting you in real life. When you have an emotionally upsetting dream, think about a current, ongoing situation your life that elicits similar feelings. For instance, dreams about being naked or partially clothed may be related to fears that you’re not good enough at your job and one day that incompetence will be exposed. Or running so slow from a threat could be a fear that your foolish credit spending will catch up to you soon. Use the creative side of your brain to figure out what your dreams are trying to tell you. 

I hope that this was interesting and helpful. Have a great Monday! ~ Phil 

Are We a ‘Veruca Salt’ Society?

Veruca Salt 1971 & 2005

We love our streaming services, don’t we? So many choices and all instantly “On Demand.” On Demand? That’s a great catchphrase some marketing whiz came up with in a meeting about fifteen years ago. When I think “On Demand” I think of Veruca Salt. No, not Veruca Salt the 90’s band that had that great song we all knew, but the Veruca Salt of my childhood. Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (I put the picture from both Willy Wonka movies so that I can rake in big views from both generations) Veruca’s big musical number in the movie was titled “I Want It Now.”

That kind of sounds like our attitude towards television, doesn’t it?

Consumers seem to be more “consumery” than we used to be. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? When the hot new show hits our favorite streaming service we all consume it ravenously and  immediately don’t we. We “binge-watch” until we run out of episodes. And, while we’re bingeing our shows, we order food and drinks delivered to our doorstep ASAP.

It’s not just food, drink and entertainment that we binge on though, is it? Aren’t we the same way with information? We have supercomputers in our pocket that give us instant answers to any questions. Raise you’re hand if you’ve looked something up at a library in the last 15 years. Hmm…let’s see…I’m not seeing any hands. Maybe this has already been too many words and people have lost interest. Hmm…too many words?

I keep an eye on the length of my posts because I fear our ADHD society won’t stay long enough to read the whole thing. When I began blogging in 2005 there was just blogging. Then in 2009 when Twitter came along it was called microblogging. So let’s do an analogy. There’s blogging and there’s microblogging. There’s also penises and micro-penises. Which one do you want? That’s right, so stay and read my blog versus the microblog.

And with Tinder people are trying to have micro-relationships delivered to their door, rather than meeting people in “real life.”

To be honest, I blame England for my frustration. First of all, they made the Willy Wonka movie with Veruca Salt as the heroine. Secondly, you know how most streaming TV series are 8 episodes per season and sometimes you have to wait a year or two for the next 8 episode micro season to come out? That’s England’s fault. They’ve done that stupid shut for decades with popular TV shows and over the last decade, American streaming shows have followed suit.

In the States we grew up with 22 episode seasons that were there on our TV every year. Until Netflix showed up, we never whined or worried about our TV shows. They just kept showing up every year for a decade or two. We grew up with Jerry, Elaine, George, Kramer, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Ted, Marshall, Lilly, Barney, and Robin. They were part of our lives every week. Other than Law & Order, nothing seems to do that anymore. (Mariska Hargitay is going to be on that show until she’s 90)

So what do you think? Has the human race changed? Have we become a Veruca Salt society? And if so, is that change good? (Trademark pending on the phrase “Veruca Salt Society”)

Have a great Sunday! ~Phil

It’s The End of The World As We Know It…

Picture credit: AGU Blogosphere

In the immortal words of R.E.M. “It’s the end of the world as we know it…” but I don’t feel fine. While that is one of the all-time great songs, mostly because I used to accompany Bob’s band at his epic annual party (Bobfest) by playing the tambourine and singing the chorus, the end of the world is nothing to be trifled with.

I’m a big ‘wanna live forever’ kind of guy, so the possibility that Earth may soon be uninhabitable kind of puts a big crimp in my future plans. If you’re an anxious person, you may not want to keep reading.

Normally I would wait until Saturday to post something this epically prophetic, but if we only have so much time left, I wanted to get this news to you ASAP. I don’t mean to bring you down, but there has been some downright disturbing shit going on lately. I’m a puzzle guy. I like to put the little pieces together to form the big picture. I don’t like the picture that has fallen into place lately.

1. The Covid crisis. An illness sweeps the world and wipes out a quarter of the population? That seems like a bad omen to me.

2. Aliens reaching out to Earth: Just three weeks ago scientists discover an unknown object four million light years away sending electric signals at us. I wrote about it HERE. If aliens are on their way here, what if they’re not very nice?

Picture credit: Schitt’s Creek

3. The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening: According to the Mirror four days ago in England “Hundreds of birds plummeted from the sky and rained on traffic …” Then, according to CNN, yesterday in Mexico “Nearly 100 migratory birds were found after dropping mid-flight in Chihuahua, Mexico.” Click the CNN link if you want to see the disturbing video. Click HERE to watch the trailer for the Schitt’s Creek/ The Crows Have Eyes trailer. That is definitely much funnier.

4. The Russian situation: That’s not good. Come on Ruskies! First your ice skater is getting hepped up for competition on her grandpa’s heart meds and now you want to invade Ukraine? The world is already on edge about so many other things. How about you guys cool your jets for a year or two?

5. The Doomsday Clock: In case you didn’t know, there are some really depressing scientists who keep a “Doomsday clock” which sort of gauges the human races chance of exterminating ourselves.  If the clock strikes midnight, that means our last days are nigh. Three weeks ago they declared that the Doomsday clock was at 100 seconds until midnight. And they didn’t even know about the aliens and the birds!

OK Phil Factor folks, what are we going to do about this? I’d like to suggest that everyone try being nicer and more understanding to each other so we can get  through our days with our sanity intact. Unfortunately the 100 reads a day that my blog gets probably won’t save the world, so what do you think the human race should do to turn back that Doomsday Clock? How can we as writers turn the tide?


The Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

Yes, I know it’s the day after Valentine’s Day, but I traditionally post this list and enjoy all the fun additional suggestions in the comments from readers. Feel free to add your ideas below and maybe they’ll make the list next year!

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time


7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor


4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced


1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil