The Wedding Crashers Part II

We didn’t set out to crash a wedding. Fate had just put a wedding reception right in our path. We really had no choice. We may be The Golden Boys, but who are we to say no to fate? It was more like the wedding crashed into us at we sat at the bar. Notice I didn’t say that we sat at the bar minding our own business? The bar was moderately busy, but most of the wedding action was going on outside in the party area. It was your typical wedding reception with a DJ and dancing. But if you recall, I did mention that no wedding reception is typical when you mix in The Golden Boys.

Although the true wedding party was outside, the bar was inside and the three of us had found three prime seats front and center at the bar. Throughout the evening guests and members of the wedding party came to the bar to get their drinks. As they did, we made friends with them. Or so we thought. Gooby, Tom, and I began the day drinking beer, but at some point the boys, definitely not me, got the idea that we should switch to liquor. With our brains and bodies full of alcohol we became even more gregarious than usual. A woman at the bar had one of those light up ice cubes that sparkles and changes colors as it sits in your drink. I tried to buy it from her for $20. As members of the wedding party came in we talked and took pictures of all of them with us, bride included. They were happy to oblige. We’re The Golden Boys after all. The bartender even scored a piece of wedding cake for us. As I said, we took pictures of all of the members of the wedding party with us. Even the flower girl and ring bearer who had been sent in to fetch drinks. This turned out to be the second big mistake of the night. The first was Gooby feeding me as many drinks as he did. Apparently one of the kids went back to their father, the groom, and said that the strange men at the bar took their picture. As I said earlier, this golf course and bar is in a little, redneck, podunk town in the middle of nowhere. Despite the fact that someone had rented a few tuxedos, these were still rednecks. Perhaps they were fearful of someone besides them sleeping with their children, but the groom and best man came into the bar puffing out their chests demanding to see the camera. While Tom obliged, Gooby quickly paid the bar tab and hustled Tom and I out of there before the locals got their torches and pitchforks. Of course we had to stop to take the Caddyshack picture below.

But of course, the night wasn’t over yet….

16 responses to “The Wedding Crashers Part II

  1. Rednecks and drama queens are always around for a good laugh.I wonder if any of them thought to themselves, “Hey, maybe I shouldn’t have sent my child alone to go and fetch me alcohol because I’m too lazy and/or drunk to get it myself?”Nah. 😉

  2. maybe the kid was sent in for a fresca.

  3. I have to second sipwine on that one!Sending kids in for alcohol…geez!!!

  4. There’s nothing more satisfying than a white trash (was it shotgun) wedding when you really have no part it in.I love these Golden Boy stories! Will you ever be able to go back to the other way you wrote?

  5. Sipwine- These weren’t the type of people to give a second thought to sending their kids into a bar. We weren’t accosting anyone. We were just getting pictures with every member of the wedding party.McKay- Could be I suppose, but the story isn’t as good that way.Tai-Thank you for your agreement.G-Man- Yes, I can go back to the way I used to write. I’ve already got two of those type done and waiting for me to finish with this self-indulgent crap.

  6. Ewww…I cant believe that woman had one of those ice cubes….can you imagine how many chemicals probbly leaked from that ice cube into her drink? And after the entire night of making nice with the wedding guests, I cant believe that no one got you a drink. Unless it was cash bar….which I went to a redneck wedding once, and it was.**Disclaimer: I am not implying that all redneck weddings are cash bar….although, most of them probably are.

  7. Kids as “barmaids.” Brilliant. Ok, I have to know what happens next.

  8. i think the only way this could end funnier is if you all made your getaway on a golf cart and the rednecks followed in theirs w/ shotguns….but seriously, i can’t wait for the next installment

  9. A great story as always. Pity that I can’t see the “caddyshack” pic 🙁

  10. Princess- Of course it was a cash bar. Someone may have bought us drinks. The drinks were flying and I was never sure who was responsible for the one in my hand. We were buying shots for the bride and groom etc.Blue Vilot- You’ll get to find out what happens next.Question Girl- The getaway in a golf cart would have been great.dzeni- It’s too bad you can’t see the Caddyshack pic. It’s a good one of us.

  11. You boys are just trouble aren’t ya?!

  12. if you were michael jackson, you could have just paid them a million dollars to shut their pie holes.. but alas you are not so yeah good thing you got the hell out. LOL 😉nice blog. just found it. cya round.

  13. Anxiously awaiting the continuing saga of the “The Broke Beer Boys”…update soon please!!!

  14. phil. i’m disappointed in you. Fresca is a vague reference to Caddyshack. tsk tsk.

  15. There’s more….?

  16. ok whats next????? we all know theres more…OH OH….

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