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"If I Were Evil…."


“I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man’s being unable to sit still in a room.”–Blaise Pascal

I’m going out on a limb here with this post, possibly revealing things about my innermost thoughts that could be disturbing to younger viewers. Look at the title of this post. How many of you have said that at some point in their lives? How often have you thought of crimes you could get away with, if you were an evil person?

Is it just me, or does everyone “case the joint” when you go into a bank or convenience store? I have no plans to turn to a life of crime, but I always take mental notes about how someone could get away with a robbery. I notice the security cameras and which one is pointing at me. I notice the guards and whether or not they’re armed. I plan to duck low as I exit so that they couldn’t get a good read on my height by that measuring tape on the door jam. I don’t own a gun and I never intend to brandish one towards another person, so why would I even entertain the idea of robbing a place? Could this be a sign of some type of mental disturbance? I’m sure most of you are thinking, “Of course you’re insane Phil. We knew that the first time we read your blog.”

My favorite “If I were evil…” fantasy is how I would go on the run from the law. Perhaps this would occur as it does in the movies with me accused of a crime I didn’t commit and I have to stay free until I can prove my innocence and capture the real culprit. I know how I would change vehicles, where I would hide during the day, staying on the move at night. How I’d cover my tracks in the event the police used dogs to track me. I’ve got it all figured out. Is this a sign of insanity, or just good planning in the event something in my life goes awry? Am I just crazy, or crazy like a fox? You all think like this right? Right?

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