Oh Canada! I’m Lovin’ It!

Yes, this is another in my ongoing series of posts professing my admiration for the great country I lovingly refer to as my friendly neighbor to the north. In fact, of all the countries that share a land border with the United States, Canada is definitely one of my top two favorites.

I am, however, writing this post to alert all of you to an outrageous situation that could possibly lead to an international conflict between our two peaceful countries. Yes, admittedly the blasphemous act has been perpetrated by an agent of the capitalistic United States corporate aristocracy. It is an act of such blatant prejudice against our poutine loving friends that I have been unable to sleep since discovering it.

It began yesterday when, on a rare occasion, I happened to visit that bastion of American culinary excellence, McDonald’s. Upon arriving I was guided to the appropriate line by the maitre d. After receiving my delicious and healthy meal I glanced down at the receipt which had been placed face down on my tray by the pleasant and hickey laden serving wench. On the back was an advertisement inviting me to participate in an online survey for the chance to win lavish McDonald’s prizes. Here I will quote you verbatim what I read that upset me so much: “Open only to legal residents of the U.S. and Canada (other than the Province of Quebec), 15 years of age and older. In order to win, a Canadian resident must answer a skill testing question.” Yes, that’s correct. If a Canadian wants to win a free Big Mac they need to answer a skill question while us regular Americans don’t have to do anything but fill out the survey!

I took the survey giving my information as both an American and a Canadian (I used the University of Guelph’s phone number), but couldn’t find the skills question. What could McDonald’s have against Canadians? And what possible question could they ask to determine if a Canadian is worthy of a coupon for a free Big Mac? I certainly hope that this horrific slight doesn’t spark a war between the U.S. and Canada. Who knows what kind of atrocities of war those red-suited Mounties might commit against us. I imagine that their pent up fury over those uniforms would make them one hellacious fighting force. I wonder if they can sneak their horses throough customs at the border? Damn, first Iraq and now this. I think we’d better send Condoleeza Rice up there to make amends. Maybe she can convince Canadian McDonald’s to give a free supersize to every Canuck to smooth things over.

24 responses to “Oh Canada! I’m Lovin’ It!

  1. Not only do Canadians have to answer a skill testing question, but to top it off, McDo is showing its racism by not even allowing us Quebecers to participate. What do they have against us? Is it the fact we’re French? Is the whole Freedom Fries issue rearing its ugly head again?

  2. What?! You have a maitre d <>and<> a serving wench at your McDonald’s?! I am incredibly jealous. Can I have your coupon?

  3. Is the answer 42?Do I win?Do I have to come to America to collect?Something about this smacks of facism. (or something)Glad I don’t like MacD’s ‘cuisine’ or I’d be really cross.

  4. Jazz- You’re from Quebec? I’m sorry.Sherbears- I won’t send you my coupon. I’ll do better than that. I’ll send you the Big Mac.Tai- You are brilliant. The answer is 42. I know that reference and I love that you used it.My word verification is ‘smenita’

  5. i’ve seen this somewhere else too… skill questions, i mean. hrm. definitely unfair. i think i want to be a canadian. i’d be good at the skill questions.

  6. Cleaerly, McDonalds recognizes that Canadians are much smarter than Americans, and are giving us the chance to prove so. They figure that with all fo th efast fod eating that you guy do, and drinking, and gun loving worship that skill testing quwtsions mught be too complex. Unless its of course about war, guns, medical bills, or pointless wars.**Excuse all possible typos…i was our drnking all night.

  7. Princess- You reply proves why the Canadians should have a skills test just to get into McDonald’s.Say Rah- You want to be a Canadian? I’m sure you’d definitely increase the average I.Q. of the whole country by a few points by moving there, but don’t leave America. What would we do without you?

  8. Phil – Sorry I’m from Quebec or sorry Mickey D is ignoring me? 😉

  9. Actually, as much as I would like to blame the Big M for this, the requirement is a reflection of an archaic Canadian law that suggests “there is no free lunch, moron.” Therefore, to keep us Canadian from falling into moral depravity by gambling, this stupid little restriction is in effect. Considering the proliferation of lottieris and casinos in this country o’ mine it is a bit hypocritical. But, Canada, thy name is smug hypocrisy. I can say that since I am a Canadian.Cheers,Ian

  10. And what about us Europeans, huh? We’ve got skills, dammit.

  11. I love Canada. They are like America, but smarter 🙂-N

  12. My word verification is smenita too, and I’ve had it at least twice in the past few days. Weird. I think the problem here is not the skill testing thing – that is actually a regulation by the Canadian government, but that you can’t win a Big Mac if you’re not a legal resident? What’s that all about?

  13. Oh hush up over there…i was out drinking last night, and dont really recall even leaving that message on your blog.I came to comment, and seen I already had. Odd

  14. Jazz- Only sorry that McD is ignoring you. I certainly will not. You are my favorite Quebecan. In fact I think I will name you as The Official Quebecan of The Phil Factor. You may use that title on your resume from this day forth.Ian- I can also say that Canada is full of smug hypocrites too and I’m not even from there. Of course I could easily get there by mid morning on any given day, so I’m not sure what that means.Choo Choo- The McDonald’s thing didn’t mention any restrictions against Europeans. We love Europeans. Especially the French. They gave us the Statue of Liberty and those delicious fries.

  15. Natalia- I have to agree that in some ways Canada is a smarter country, but c’mon those Mountie uniforms and the Queen of England on their money? Jennifer- Welcome to The Phil Factor! It’s nice to make your acquantance. Now go write a blog so we can read about you.Princess- You won’t find me arguing with your self-assessment. Odd.

  16. Quebecers aren’t asked to answer a skill testing question because everyone knows we Canadians are very nice people, and we believe in a level playing field. The key words are “skill… testing…”

  17. I really don’t have anything to say about this.I mean . . . cause well . . . nope. Nothing.

  18. 70% of Canada’s population lives within 100 miles of the US/Canada border……feeling intimidated yet?ROFL!!!!More annoying than the “skill testing question” is the 1-800 phone numbers that don’t work from here, and have you ever priced out cars/motorcycles in Canada?! Good LORD — we are being gouged here….. its a conspirancy all right!(there is my rant for the day)PS: about “42” — did you read the book, see the movie or BOTH????

  19. Hi Phil, thanks for the welcome, I already have a blog. http://www.jennifercw.blogspot.com

  20. It sucks to live in Quebec..I can’t participate on any US and many Canadian contests because of the french lisence laws..ugh!

  21. clearly, phil has never linked to any of the blogs on my sidebar….jennifer is the first one at the top. So self involved…LOL!

  22. You think it’s confusing for you? I’ve lived in Canada for 11 years and I still can’t figure out all the nuances around competitions and how Quebec fits in. I’m willing to go with the “we’re smart” line of thought though. The good thing for us is that any winnings are not counted as income. So yes we have to show some skill but once we’ve done so we’re not required to declare it to our lovely tax folks 🙂Do big mac’s count as income? Do you need to declare that 😉

  23. HI phil..the proper term for someone from Quebec would be a Quebecer but you were close with Quebecen.I enjoyed your post. although I am days late and a dollar short…( again i am canadian)lol

  24. Pingback: Canada Has a Day? | The Phil Factor

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