Cell Phone People Part VIII: The Ringtone People

As many of my longtime friends here know, cell phone people irritate me. Well, irritate might not be the right word. Inspire murderous rage perhaps? Fuel an anger that burns with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns? I’m not sure what the exact measurement of my annoyance with them might be, but it’s definitely not good. For those of you new to the program, I don’t hate everyone who uses a cell phone. Only those who use them as if they and their cell phone are Siamese twins that weren’t separated at birth.

During the hiatus when I was gone, I purchased a new cell phone solely to change carriers. My new phone however, is a huge upgrade over my old phone and has all sorts of bells and whistles. It wasn’t too expensive and it looked cool, which is my primary criteria for choosing a phone, or anything for that matter. It also has the option of storing roughly one billion different ringtones. Like I’ve maintained all along, I have a cell phone, but I’m not a cell phone person.

A subset of cell phone people is the ringtone people. These people love their ringtones and they always want you to know when they have a new one. “Hey, wanna hear my new ringtone?” Usually this question sends me running from the room desperate to save the 30 seconds of my life these dolts are trying to steal by making me listen to The Thong Song. The Ringtone People change their ringtone about once a week, so over the course of a year they could steal 26 minutes of your life by making you listen to their new ringtones. Oh and I just love their bikini babe or Justin Timberlake wallpaper.

I think the ringtone should be a personality quiz somewhere, and it probably is on one of those sites that supply quizzes for bloggers. The quiz should go like this:

1) Have you purchased more than two ringtones for your phone?
A) Yes
B) No

If you answered no, you have a life and your priorities are in order. If you answered yes, how could you possibly have time to take this quiz? Your carrier is adding new ringtones at this very minute and you’re missing them! Oh, and you’re a loser.

The ringtone people also have taken the time to assign a different ringtone to all 30 people saved in their phone. I sure as hell hope that when e-harmony is asking the questions that determine your 29 personality variables “Do you have more ringtones than brain cells?” is one of the questions. These people definitely need to be paired up with each other instead of letting them wander aimlessly asking the rest of us, “Wanna hear my new ringtone?” Then again, if you pair them up they might start to breed, and we definitely don’t want to see that happening.

I have to confess, I did purchase one ringtone for my new phone. It’s the theme song for Monday Night Football. It never fails to make me smile when I hear it. What’s your ringtone du jour?

12 responses to “Cell Phone People Part VIII: The Ringtone People

  1. i have *never* bought a ringtone 🙂

  2. My ringtone used to be “Wish you were here” by Pink Floyd and now it’s “Fade into you” by Mazzy Star. I always have people asking me the name of the songs cause they love them. I think I am doing my part educating the masses.-N

  3. I have never bought a ring tone but i can use MP3’s therefore one of my friends announces herself with Type o negative “my girlfriends girlfriend”, my boyfriend is Smashmouths “all star” and there are a couple of others. I try to do it with humour, at one point i was using the theme tune for Star fleet.

  4. I have never bought a cellphone. But I have been subjected to the ringtone people. They scare me. Especially if they download the sound of the phones from 24.

  5. have bought two in the past:take me out to the ballgame & brass monkeynothing on my current phone.what i want is something i can hear, but no one else can. almost akin to a dog whistle.

  6. my ring tone was the halloween movie theme, OR the exorcist theme song. Only if you are a fan of those movies would you ever know them…but then I switched back to my old provider, Loved my old phone so much that I didnt get a new phone, with any bells, or whistles, OR the ability to have funky ring tones…So now? It just rings. like a regular phone… SHOCKING eh?

  7. I’ve never bought a ringtone, although I made one to put on my phone … “What’s New Pussycat” is my ringtone … aren’t I pathetic !!!Have a great week.Take care, Meow

  8. OMG, you’re all so funny. I think ringtones really do reflect peoples personality. This post was aimed at the ringtone addicts I suppose. Justine- Do you have a cell phone?Nat- Love the choices.Hagel- I think you may be a ringtone person. I’m tempted to assign rings to people, but with my sense of humor I’d offend them most likely.Jazz- Don’t like 24?Sarah- Perfect choices for you. Love them both.C- I’d know the Halloween theme. That’s really funny.Meow- Yes, you are.

  9. *hangs head in shame*. 😉

  10. Phil – love 24, but only on DVD. But hearing that 4 note ring anywhere but a DVD freaks me right out.Do tell, are you back for real?Hey word verification is really a word – Salsa. Now all I need are chips

  11. I’ve never bought a ringtone in my damn life. I have, however, copied my favorite songs onto my cellphone to use those for ringtones. But that makes perfect sense, cause the ringtones that come with the phone are all hideous and I have wonderful taste in music:D

  12. I am PROUD to be a cell phone ringtone junkie these days… it saves me from answering calls from people i don’t want to talk to especially since my cell phone is my ONLY phone…now i don’t even have to get up to see who is calling on my old phone i had brass monkey for my best friend & her husband – because while camping, he cracked open 2 bottles of it one night…and well, lets just leave it at, what happens at camp stays at camp….on that phone i also had hail to the victors for my dad cause he went to michigan…on my new phone, i have redneck yacht club because when we go camping we tie all the boats together and and become the song…super trainer is high voltageall the ex’s who can’t seem to stop calling are wasted (carrie underwood’s new song)all my students who have my number for extra help are currently pop,lock, & drop it (cause they didn’t think i could drop it and i did in class one day – on beat)and my new default is nicklebacks rockstar… because well, we DO all want to be big rockstars….i HAVE had the phone for @ 18 months… and i got a pack of 10 tones for 10 bucks….

Leave a Reply