It’s India’s Turn

Hey Canada, guess what? You get the week off. I’m going to make fun of India. Earlier this week an Indian court issued an arrest warrant for Richard Gere because he kissed Indian actress Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS Awareness event in Jaipur,India. The entire country was seriously outraged. They were burning Richard Gere effigies in the street over this! After several lawyers filed complaints in an Indian court a judge watched the videotape of the kiss, retired to his chambers alone for about 10 minutes, and then, appearing slightly sweaty and disheveled, returned to the court, demanded that he keep the copy of the tape and issued the order for Richard Gere’s arrest. Apparently under Indian law they deemed Richard Gere’s kiss of their actress “obscene.” I saw the video. I don’t even think there was tongue. Maybe they thought it was obscene that a 58 year old was kissing a pretty, young actress. I can see that, but then again, this is a country where marriages are still arranged.

I’ve got a few very good Indian friends, so I have nothing against the Indian people. I love their food, but maybe laws like this are why they moved to America, land of the free and home of kisssing Richard Gere. That’s right, if I want to kiss Richard Gere right on the mouth in front of the whole world I’ll do it and there isn’t a court in the land that can stop me. And c’mon, he was burned in effigy. How cool is that? If I ever do anything that causes me to be burned in effigy I will be very happy. And I don’t mean burned in effigy when an ex-girlfriend puts my picture in the garbage and sets it on fire. I want the full-on hanging in the public square, chanting crowds, riot police burning effigy. If I can do something that causes that, then I know I’ll have really made something of my life. I think I may have to plan a vacation to India. Mother Theresa, here I come! I know she’s dead, but I may kiss her on the mouth too. That should get me an awesome effigy.

13 responses to “It’s India’s Turn

  1. No my friend ” the entire country ” was not outraged. Far from it. We Indians still like Mr Gere. In fact no more than a few dozen people at a time took to the streets burning Mr Gere’s effigies and in only four different towns. I am sure you know that India is a country of about a billion people with hundreds of such towns.The judge who issued this warrant works out of a court in small town India and not out of ‘ New Delhi ‘. This is not the first time a Public Interest Litigation ( PIL ) application in India has been abused. In a similarly ridiculous attempt, a lawyer had sued a famous cricketer for eating beef! I can assure you no one in India has or will ever go to jail for either eating beef or for kissing someone. This is what Soli Sorabjee, former Attorney General of India had to say about Gere’s warrant – “The order is ridiculous. Even if this hugging and kissing was a bit vulgar, it does not amount to obscenity.”“They are just seeking publicity,” he said.Another senior lawyer called the order “an act of judicial indecency.”“This is only for cheap publicity and the magistrate and lawyer should be restrained,” Dushyant Dave told the Times of India newspaper.The legal community in India has in fact slammed this warrant.I am saddened that the American media is sensationalizing this incident by using headlines screaming – ” The Kiss that Shocked India ” or ” Protests Rock India “. Why should the great majority of Indians be made to look retrograde for the actions of a few rascals?By the way have you checked out the Kingfisher Swimsuit Calendar from last year? It’s India’s answer to the famous Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition; only the Indian models are less modestly clothed!Regards

  2. Well thank you for straightening me out. I am always willing to be educated when my views go askew. I’m disappointed that you signed in anonymously though. If you have a blog I’d love to read it. Also, your point about the Americam media sensationalizing the incident is certainly what resulted in my post. I’m glad to know that the Indian populace as a whole is more sensible than the media implied with this incident. Then again, that same Indian judge may well be issuing a warrant for my arrest due to the poor taste in which this blog post was written.

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  4. Yeah I think it was a question of a few getting riled up and making a big stink. And you know there are always a few hundred fools who don’t like to think for themselves and will just be recruited to march, burn flags, etc.But I do think we ought to respect other countries’ beliefs. Not everyone has to comply to the American way of thinking. God, I hope not everyone does.-N

  5. I read about this….I have no comments that I can make on a public forum….

  6. If I burn a small effigy in Canada would that be sufficient for you?Maybe you can send Mr. Gere up here to kiss the Sasquatch.Or maybe Wayne Gretzky.I’m pretty sure that would outrage somebody somewhere.

  7. Lets hope they get their way and Richard Gere is jailed – no more rubbish rom-coms with Julia Roberts

  8. Why are they spending all this time trying to throw Richard Gere in prison, when Tom Cruise is the one who clearly ought to be locked up? lol

  9. What happened to you posting more?

  10. well they haven’t been burning effigies in leicester and we have a massive indian population and the biggest Diwali celebrations outside india (allegedly). Choo, i’m inclined to agree.

  11. Phil, I liked your take on India and their Gerebashing… the upset parties should get a life and grow up. I am also glad to see a lot of Indians thought it silly as well. 🙂

  12. im so disappointed in you. Only three posts since FEBRUARY?? Whats keeping you so busy? Are you a spy?? You’re a spy arent you? Is it a covert operation??? It is isnt it? (thats a funny sentence.)So…come on. Whats up in your life? OHHH…you’ve been voted sexiest man alive. That must be it. Why else would you have such a prolonged absense. You havent been voted president. Id have heard about that…even all the way up here in Canada….

  13. Being kissed by Richard Gere… um… ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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