A Very Funny Band, A Very Funny Song

This may be the funniest song I’ve ever heard. If you’re so inclined, it’s even funnier to listen to than it is to read. They have two cd’s out and are available on itunes. Here’s their site if you want to read more about them.

The Band: Jesus H. Christ and The Four Hornsmen
The Song: Connecticut’s For Fucking

We live in the dullest state
Package stores all close at eight
Malls are full of optometrists
And restaurants we hate
Swimming across Lake Quassapaug
Stealing makeup, catching frogs
Cutting our feet on broken bottles
As we wade in the Shepaug
It’s true for horses, cows and dogs…

Connecticut’s for fucking
That’s all there is to do.
I love to listen to classic rock
and have sex with you.

Doing hole shots at the mall
Writing Ozzy on a wall
Watch the corn get tall
There’s nothing else to do at all.

Goin’ where we always go
Doin’ what we always do
Waitin’ to turn into the people
We are bound to turn into.
What else do other people do?

Connecticut’s for fucking
It’s the Nutmeg state
If we can’t afford to buy antiques
then we just copulate

Connecticut’s for fucking
And Massachusetts too
I want to climb up the sleepy giant
and have sex with you.

Up in Fairfield
In Old Lyme
We’re just fucking all the time.
Out in Derby
Down in Kent
We’re all busy getting bent
In the Constitution State.

Connecticut’s for fucking
While we’re waiting to
Turn into the people
everyone here turns into.

Connecticut’s for fucking.
There’s nothing else to do.
I wanna listen to classic rock and have sex with you.

We all love to fuck in Connecticut.
We’re all getting fucked in Connecticut.
Let’s fuck!

Here’s a little back story. I first posted this almost three years ago and then sent the link to their “Contact us” link on their site just so they knew they had some supporters out there. I got back a sarcastic e-mail. I responded with a kind of “geez, I’m just trying to give you guys a little extra free publicity.” I assumed it was just some record company P.R. peon I was dealing with. Turns out it was the lead singer. Since then we have e-mailed occasionally and she gave me permission to reference their band in my novel. About two months ago I got a Facebook invitation to attend their concert in NYC this weekend, so that’s where I’ll be Saturday night. They are a very funny, and very nice band, so please if you are so inclined, visit their site or download this song or others from itunes. Trust me, if you listen to this song you’ll laugh from start to finish.

22 responses to “A Very Funny Band, A Very Funny Song

  1. You could have warned me to set my coffee before reading those lyrics down so I wouldn’t spew it out my nose. Owww.

  2. that’s it! i’m moving to CT

  3. So, Phil, you’re moving to Connecticut?

  4. hey phil, you just raised the bar again on how weird, wacky, outrageous the content of your posts can be….too funny…I was still hardly awake when I logged on this morning but my eyeballs popped wide open when I began reading this!!!keep ’em commin!

  5. Well, okie dokie then.You have almost left me speechless, but I will say this…“Very Funny!”

  6. I’ve been to CT.I was just bored.There was no fucking.I feel gypped.

  7. rotflmao @ sipwine…too funny

  8. Haha. That’s funny.

  9. i guess thats kind of like the gettin’ lucky in kentucky song.

  10. I love the Ozzy reference. Classic.

  11. Wow. That’s … wow.

  12. oh beautiful!poetry always brings a tear to my eye.

  13. Is CT full or can I still move there?signed,Curious Canadian

  14. They had me at their picture. LMAO

  15. Being a New Enlgander, I feel left out for not knowing this.

  16. Oh this is just fantastic! I'm sending it to my friend in CT…

  17. I knew Riot Kitty would love it! Can't think why? 😀

    Thanks for the laugh!

  18. Very cool!!

  19. Excuse me, I'm off to iTunes. I want to hear all about the concert, Phil!

  20. Lovin' it. I'm going to go and check these guys out. How can I not after reading this???

    Let me know how you liked the concert!

  21. Agreed. Pretty damn funny, Phil.

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