There are two things I’m not sure if I believe in, ghosts and death. Well, I’m sure I don’t believe in my own death, and if, by chance, it does happen, I plan to overcome it by becoming a ghost. I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself What a weirdo! Hey, relax on the judgment there. I’m contractually bound to come back after death if I have one, a death, that is.
Contractually bound? Yup. Nothing I can do about it now. It was many years ago in college. One night two friends and I were drinking some adult beverages. You know how when you’re young, like 20 or so; you think you’re really deep even though you’re really idiots who don’t know anything? We had imbibed a few and got to talking about death and the afterlife.
We all were curious to know if there really was life after death, so right then and there, we Googled and then re-enacted a centuries-old Druid ceremony complete with a circle of salt, candles under a full moon, and signing a pact with our own blood, which was flowing easily because of the alcohol we had been drinking.
Ok, no, we didn’t, but I had you going there for a second, didn’t I? There was no blood-signed contract, and there was also no Google when I was in college, but we did make a promise to each other that whichever one of us died first would come back and haunt the other two so we would know that there was life after death.
I don’t know where those two college friends are now, and I don’t even remember one’s last name. Hopefully, because of our vow, some sort of afterlife mojo will help us find each other to keep our promise. As far as I know, none of us has ever shown up to haunt the others. With Paranormal Month in the air, I got to thinking of this and what else I might do if I were to be a ghost.
I know this may be hard for you to believe, but in my life, I’ve been a bit of a practical joker at times. I’m pretty sure that if I ever return as a ghost, I won’t remove my shirt and help anyone with pottery. Jeez, what a waste of an afterlife.
I’ll probably be what we all know as a poltergeist. I’ll move a lot of people’s car keys just before they have to leave for work. I’ll show up invisibly during live televised events and give the President or Taylor Swift a wet willie. I’ll be on the field at all my favorite live sporting events, helping out a little to ensure my favorite teams win.
You know that feeling you get when you feel like someone’s behind you, but you turn around, and no one’s there? That’ll be me. Who knows? Ghost Phil may even zip into the internet and follow the connection to your computer and cause embarrassing typos when you’re posting pictures.
So do you believe in life after death? Do you think there are real ghosts? What would you do if you were a ghost?
Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil