Tag Archives: ThePhilFactor

Ten Reasons Taylor Swift is Dating Travis Kelce Instead of Me

Posted on September 28, 2023 | 4 comments

Pic courtesy of Glamour magazine, which I obviously have a subscription to.

Dear Travis Kelce,

(First, for my readers from other countries, Travis Kelce is a very good American football player) So anyway, Travis, you’re going to have to take this hit and date Taylor Swift. A month ago on your podcast, you mentioned that you wanted to give Taylor Swift a friendship bracelet with your phone number on it. Ugh, c’mon Travis! A friendship bracelet? Geez, how cringey is that?  Off the field, you seriously got no game. Fortunately for you, I won’t date Taylor Swift, so she’s all yours if she’ll have you.

Pic “courtesy” of The New York Times and Google.

This past weekend Taylor Swift went to Travis Kelce’s football game in Kansas City, Missouri. That single event nearly broke the internet. But it definitely did not break my heart, and here’s ten reasons why….

10. Believe it or not, my name isn’t Phil Factor. I’m Phil Taylor. If Taylor Swift married me and took my name, her name would be Taylor Taylor and that’s just ridiculous. But, if she took my first name as her married surname, her name would be Taylor Phil. I might consider letting her do that. It would be great fun at party introductions. “Hi, I’m Phil Taylor and this is my wife Taylor Phil.”

9. If she and I broke up she’d write songs about it and I’d write blogs about it. Does the world really need that?

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8. The relationship would never work. She’d be jealous and insecure about my success. It would probably destroy her.

7. Mrs. Phil would probably kick both our asses , resulting in a lengthy and highly public trial, and I can’t go through that again.

6. Because of their well publicized feud over me, if I dated Taylor Swift I’d never get a shot with Katy Perry. (pause) Or would I?

Taylor & Katy in better times before they began fighting over me Taylor & Katy in better times before they began fighting over me

5. She’s too tall. At 5’11’, she’s taller than me, and well… there’s all sorts of ways that would be awkward. Like at red carpet events for instance: “Hi Taylor. Melissa Rivers here from E! network. Oh wait, stop the camera. Why is your chauffeur still with you?”

4. I don’t want to get stuck supporting that one hit wonder in her old age when she’s lost her marginal good looks and blown all the money she made from that one song that did ok.

3. She’s attractive and all, but she’s no Kylie Minogue. A little blatant pandering to my U.K. and Australian friends who’ve read this far. If you did, give me a quick shout out in the comments so I know that reference wasn’t in vain)

Kylie dailytelegraph.com.au Kylie     dailytelegraph.com.au

2.   I’m a pretty forgiving guy, but not once has Taylor’s agent called me and asked if she could be interviewed on #ThePhilFactor. I don’t pursue. I’m the pursued.

1. Taylor may be able to rhyme some catchy lyrics, but from what I’ve heard she’s a snooze when it comes to conversation. Apparently Taylor isn’t all that swift.

As always, feel free to share with your favorite Taylor Swift fan by hitting the Facebook share button below. Have a great Friday! ~Phil

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Posted in Humor, pop culture

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That Time I Almost Won Season 1 of Survivor

Posted on September 26, 2023 | 4 comments

Possibly me…

Every year when the new Survivor season starts I always wonder, “what if…”  What if that was me winning #Survivor?

Let’s take a little trip in the way back machine. It was September of 1999. The internet was so new that I was still getting a newspaper made out of actual paper! I’ve always been an avid sports fan and in the fall the first thing I’d do when I got my Sunday paper was to check the box scores from the Saturday college football games.

On page 2 of the sports section, I found a small classified ad looking for people to volunteer/apply to be part of a filmed game show where contestants would spend a month on a remote island competing for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! 

This is how my inner monologue went: “I grew up camping in tents with my family every summer. I’m outdoorsy! I can’t eat pickles or mustard, but I’ve got no problem eating anything else. I know how to fish, so I can feed myself. I’m a young-ish man in decent shape. I spent a few years in college taking broadcasting classes, so I’m comfortable on camera. I can do this!  This is a no brainer. For a million bucks I can outlast a group of dolts on an island and parlay my new found stardom into a successful show biz career!”

Survivor Season 1 cast. Look at those dolts! I could have easily won.

With my inner voice cheering me on I began typing that email to the casting director at CBS, all but certain that I was on the road to riches and stardom. And then I talked to my wife…

How many men reading this know how that conversation went?

This is not me or my wife.

Her reply, which was justified, was “you’re not going to leave me home alone for a month with three young kids.” That was a fair response. I couldn’t argue with that.

Don’t we all have those “what if” moments in your life where you look back and wonder how your life might be different? #Survivor is low on my list, but… what if?  Do you have any of those moments or memories where you wonder how the direction of your life might have changed had you done something different?

Have a great Tuesday and think of me when you’re watching Survivor tomorrow! ~Phil

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McDonald’s, Let’s Share The Shakes! Shamrock Shakes for the UK!

Posted on September 6, 2023 | 2 comments

Dear Chris Kempczinski,

I am writing to you, the CEO of the McDonald’s Corporation,on behalf of my friends in the fine country we call England. Why am I, an American, taking up a cause for everyone in England? It’s because I like every single British person that I’ve ever met. Sure there is probably a fair amount of arses over there, but they are not the majority.

I’m not sure if you’re holding a grudge over that little colonial dust up a couple centuries back, but since then England has been a good friend to the United States. It’s time for you to drop that grudge and allow all the British McDonald’s customers to have the one thing they want, Shamrock Shakes. The States have them. Canada has them. Ireland has them. Why not fecking England?

What have the Brits ever done to you? From your picture I can see that you appear to be red headed, so it’s probable you have some Irish blood coursing through your veins. Are you possibly holding a grudge over The Troubles Ireland/England conflict that ended over twenty-five years ago? For cripes sake, drop that old grudge too and offer an olive branch. The Shamrock Shake in British McDonald’s would heal that old wound between the countries and bring people together.

There’s no downside. You would come out of this looking like a hero. Your England McDonalds would make even more money. You would be known all over the UK as the man who brought redemption and Shamrock Shakes to England.

So what’s it going to be Chris? A few sugary shakes in the UK, or infamy as the man who wouldn’t let the Brits have Shamrock Shakes? C’mon Chris, let’s share the shakes, let’s share the shakes, let’s share the shakes… I can hear the chant building across the land…let’s share the shakes!

To all my readers, I encourage you to share this letter to McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski on your social media until the clamor for British Shamrock shakes cannot be ignored. If you like a more personal approach you can copy and paste it into an email and send it directly to the CEO at his email:  chris.kempczinski@us.mcd.com 

Have a great day everyone! I hope you get your shakes!~Phil

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It’s The Great Pumpkin Spice Latte Charlie Brown!

Posted on September 2, 2023 | 20 comments

At this point, I’m not even sure people remember the Peanuts cartoons. Although, in doing “research” for this post I discovered that there was The Peanuts Movie in 2015. I’m sure that totally resonated with kids. Good grief, as Charlie Brown would say.

I was also going to name this “A Pumpkin Flavored Phil Factor”. It’s that time of year, again. Sigh.  It has begun. Pumpkin flavored everything is back in stores! WTH? Seriously, are pumpkins such a wonderful delicacy that we have to flavor EVERYTHING with them? Why pumpkin? Is there any other time of year where a flavor takes over the country for a couple months? Around the winter holidays why isn’t there nog flavored everything? Around St. Patrick’s Day we’ve got our Shamrock Shakes, but that’s about it. How about this? I’m going to give you a list of ten pumpkin flavored items below and you try to guess which one isn’t real.

1. SPAM

2. Twinkies

3. Donuts

4. Candy

5. Soda pop

6. Potato chips

7. Pasta

8. Cookies

9. Vodka

10. Hamburgers

Guess what? They all are real! That’s too much pumpkin flavored stuff. What’s next, pumpkin-flavored fish sandwiches at McDonald’s? This time of year it’s actually an effort not to accidentally eat something pumpkin flavored. This madness must end!

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law stating that any company that produces a pumpkin flavored food item has to have it approved through a special sub-committee and if it is just too stupid of an idea they will not be allowed to sell it. If you know of any other odd pumpkin flavored foods or drinks please share them in the comments.

As always, if you enjoy what you read at #ThePhilFactor and want to support my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook share button.

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

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Posted in Humor, pop culture, Uncategorized

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Throwback Thursday! The Poop at Home People

Posted on August 10, 2023 | 2 comments

This particular post was chosen because I’m on vacation pooping somewhere other than home.

(1/17/2015) Everybody poops. In fact, I would bet a fair number of you are doing it right now while reading this on your phone. If you are pooping, I bet you’re doing it at home. Am I right?

It was really tough to find a poop picture that I thought would get by the Facebook censors so I could promote this post. Oh the search terms I used to find these pictures! The NSA will probably laugh their constipated asses off when they review their Phil Factor log today.

This is a sensitive yet important topic that I want to be accessible to as many people as possible because this is a very serious subject that impacts millions of poople every day. I want poople to know that domesticus poopius is no reason to feel shamed or embarrassed. I want to bring pooping out into the light, into a public forum where we can all examine it without stigma.

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According to true fact statistics that I made up, at least 50% of you are poop at home people.  If you’re a poop-at-home-poople, or domesticus poopius, which is the medical name for this disorder, then you’ve been impacted by it’s limitations for your entire life. Am I right?

Reluctant to go out with friends if you haven’t pooped all day? You go as much as possible before a vacation because you know you might not go again for days. Discomfort at work because you won’t go there? Or maybe you’ll go, but only in one particular bathroom and only during a time when no one else is around?  Bloating and flatulence from the back-up in your bowels? These are all symptoms of this terrible, terrible condition.

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I don’t have this disorder. I can go anywhere. In fact, I’m doing it now. In a stall at LaGuardia airport while I write this on my phone. There’s a line outside the door, but I don’t care.  This is a problem for a lot of you, so let’s talk about it.  First, in order to fix the problem you have to understand the why.

Is it a fear of germs at public restrooms? Guess what? Your skin is the largest organ in your body. It’s essentially a giant condom you’re body is wearing to protect your insides from germs. It does a wonderful job of it, doesn’t it? The only disease you can really get from from a toilet seat is ringworm, and that’s not so bad is it?

Worried about others knowing that smell came from you? Who cares? We all do it. Even the Pope, Queen Elizabeth, and Taylor Swift poop, and I bet they stink really bad. (In doing my “research” I did find a list of Taylor Swift quotes and none of them were about poop, meaning it’s likely she has domesticus poopius and is embarrassed to speak or sing about it)

Domesticus Poopius is so prevalent it has even made it’s way into pop culture. Some of you may remember a Seinfeld episode where Kramer had to go and couldn’t get home in time and lost the urge, resulting in days long constipation. More recently there was a How I Met Your Mother episode in which Lily found a hotel charge on Marshall’s bank statement and she thought he was cheating until he admitted that he couldn’t get home in time so he got a hotel room so he could be comfortable pooping.

Apparently there’s a Ted Talk about pooping at home. Here’s THE LINK . I haven’t watched it because I don’t want that in my browser history.

If you think about it, domesticus poopius is really an anxiety/fear based disorder. All toilets are basically the same, unless you’re in a third world country and have to squat over a trough. If you’re anywhere there’s indoor plumbing and you won’t poop, it’s because you’re fearful of something involved with the process.

Domesticus poopius is a mental disorder that can have real physical symptoms that are dangerous. I could go into a list from WebMD, but it would scare you about more that what your imagination might conjure up about holding in your poop too long. Guess what? Your imagination would be right, so go. Go freely and go anywhere it’s legal and appropriate! Free your mind and your bowels and never feel that shame again. If I was Oprah I’d say, “You get to poop, and you get to poop, and you get to poop. Everybody gets to poop!”

Well this has gone on long enough. Gotta go, if you know what I mean. If you want to save the life of a poop at home person please share this with them by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

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Top Ten Tuesday! 10 Things I Won’t Eat

Posted on August 8, 2023 | 5 comments

Are you wondering how the title goes with that picture of a guinea pig? Read on! I’ve eaten some weird things in my life, but there are some things I just won’t touch. If I were to go on a reality show like Survivor or Naked and Afraid, I’d be fine with eating bugs and snakes. This may be tempting fate, but here are ten things I will never eat intentionally.

10. Mustard: I believe that this is a substance spawned in the bowels of hell. I put only ketchup on my hot dogs. I can throw up right now if I just think about mustard long enough. Moving on…

9. Onions: I’d rather eat broken glass. I can tolerate some onion powder in a dish, I’m OK with the flavor, but not the texture of onions in my mouth.

8. Other humans: Like I said, I may be tempting fate here, but cannibalism just seems to be in bad taste. Of course if my plane goes down in the Andes mountains and we run out of peanuts… As an aside, I was once told by a family historian that a couple hundred years ago some of my ancestors may have partaken in human flesh. They were in Canada and it was a tough winter. Surely, that’s understandable, right?

7. Brains: Not human of course. In many countries it’s not unusual to eat animal brains. The brain reportedly is the most nutritionally dense part of any animal. It just seems wrong. What if in some comic book type plot I suddenly starting thinking like and talking like the animal whose brain I ate? I’d probably fail as a zombie.

6. Seahorses: They’re served fried on a stick in China. I think they’re cute and have a look of intelligence. I hate eating cute animals.

seahorses

5. Guinea pig: Here’s the reason for the picture at the top of this article. Often eaten in South American countries. Umm…no thanks. I find them ugly when they’re alive. Why would I put them in my mouth?  Did you know that if you pick them up by their tail their eyes will pop out?

4. Kiviak: This one makes we want to puke just thinking about it. Kiviak is a traditional Inuit (Eskimo) food from Greenland. They take a seal, dead I hope, and stuff it with 500 birds, also dead I hope, and then bury it under the ground to ferment for months. It is said to help the Inuits combat vitamin deficiencies in their diet. Haven’t the Inuits ever heard of taking actual vitamins? Someone get them a wi-fi signal! (I was going to put a picture in for this one, but all the pictures of it were very off putting in the morning.

3. Deviled eggs: I eat hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, fried eggs and most any other kind of eggs. Won’t touch a deviled egg. It just looks wrong. Ugh, and adding the paprika on top makes it look wronger.

2. Smalahove: It’s sheeps head. They eat it in Norway. I’ll eat just about any animal, but at least take the face off first.

sheeps

1. Pickles: Of all the things on this list this is the one I would choose last if forced to. If I’m on a reality show and the challenge is to eat a pickle with mustard I bow out immediately no matter how much money is on the line. It’s the sour, awful vinegar. I can’t get past the smell. I held a pickle once but couldn’t bring myself to eat it.

So what foods are your kryptonite and why?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

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Disney IS For Adults

Posted on August 7, 2023 | 2 comments

Picture credit: Walt Disney World and CNN

That picture above may be your worst nightmare. When most  people think of theme parks, they think of screaming kids, long lines, frying in the summer sun, and really expensive vacations. Disney World does have all of those things. But that’s not all they have…

My wife and I are what are called “Disney Adults“. We actually go on vacations to Disney parks without taking children. When my kids were young, we did take them to Disney a couple times, and do you know what? It’s more fun without them!

At least three times a year you can find us in one of the Disney Parks. In fact, I’m going this week. To be clear, I’m not staying in the Disney park for the whole week. They do a sweep after close to get any stragglers out. How do I know this…?

NOT a picture of me.                                                Pic credit: KnowYourMeme.com

I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Why? Just why would grown adults without kids spend a day at a Disney World instead of a beach in The Bahamas?” For one, you don’t need a passport. Two, the Disney owned resorts are just as beautiful as anything you can find in the Caribbean.

How about a Tahitian overwater villa with a beach? And guess what, someone will bring you margaritas while you tan.  Don’t love the beach scene? Go to Epcot!

Yeah, back when I was a kid, and when I took my kids, when I heard Epcot, my first thought was that someone was going to try to educate us about different countries. Yes, there are some fun rides at Epcot. If you just want to be laid back rather than trying to hold your eyeballs in on some roller coaster, try the ride Soarin’. That’s a laid back, fun ride.

My secret is to use the indoor rides as breaks from the hot sun. Other Epcot laid back rides that are nicely air-conditioned are: Soarin’, The Seas with Nemo and Friends, Spaceship Earth, Frozen Ever After, Living With The Land, Gran Fiesta and Journey into Imagination with Figment. The two in that last sentence that are italicized are rides so laid back that you’ll be in danger of dozing off while on the them.

As an adult, Epcot is not a theme park. What it is, is one of most epic walking pub crawls ever! You can eat and drink your way around the world all day. Most of the restaurants/bars  open at 11:00 a.m.

You can challenge yourself, as many have, to drink one cocktail, beer, or glass of wine in each of the 11 countries in Epcot. But don’t limit yourself to just drinks! Epcot has over 50 places to eat which includes, food carts, quick service restaurants, and full-on sit down restaurants. And, as anyone will tell you, start at Mexico and while you’re there, get some nachos, quesadillas, or anything they make there. It’s all good and you should put something in your stomach before drinking. It will slow down your buzz.

If you’re a wine fan, you’ve got to hit the Weinkeller in Germany for plenty of choices of fine wines, including the option to get a wine flight!

Pic credit DisneyFoodBlog

Disney Springs! If you’re not familiar, Disney Springs is the shopping, eating, drinking, entertainment center that is a must see if you are visiting Disney as an adult. Don’t bring the kids because they’ll want you to buy them something they see every ten seconds. Of course, the same could be said about my wife.

Pic from KingdomMagicTravel.com

Disney Springs truly is a theme park for adults. There are more than 60 places to eat and drink at Disney Springs and my wife and I are eating and drinking our way through our list of them each time we go to Disney World. We have our favorites that we repeat, but we’re hitting new ones each time we go. I’m guessing we may be up to forty or so after the next trip. These restaurants aren’t your typical theme park places to eat. Some are world class, run by famous chefs kind of restaurants. My favorite is Raglan Road, an awesome Irish pub with live music and Irish dancing. The food is great and I had a great beer from Iceland there once. If you love Irish stuff, they’ve got a great gift shop.

Disney Springs is not just eating and drinking. There’s spectacular shopping where you can find Disney themed knick-knacks, items, movie themed toys, and several high end clothing stores that have nothing to do with the Disney brand. You can also find a couple athletic clothing stores as well as a Harley Davidson store.

One of my favorite places is the House of Blues. It’s a restaurant, store and performance venue attracting well known bands from all over the world. Their gift shop is pretty cool.

Another different way to entertain yourself while at Disney Springs is Splitsville Luxury Lanes. It’s a bowling alley and a restaurant. Also, if you want to have some great movie snacks and get out of the heat, there is the wonderful air conditioning of AMC Dine-In Disney Springs theater. You can sit in your seat and order your meal from wait staff and it will be brought to you shortly while you watch the movie.

Pic from SplitsvilleLanes.com

In Orlando, depending on where you choose to stay, you may have access to Disney transportation to the parks. There are buses, water taxis, and the Disney Skyliner. To use these transportation options you’ll have to stay at a Disney resort or a Disney affiliated hotel. The Swan and Dolphin are Marriott owned hotels that are affiliated with Disney World. Both are great hotels. If you stay at them you can walk to Epcot in about 5-10 minutes. If you don’t like hoofing it, you can easily grab a water taxi in front of your hotel. There’s also a Doubletree Hotel within walking distance of Disney Springs or you can get a free Disney bus ride to Epcot. That will save you money over the Disney resorts. I’ve stayed there. It’s a very good hotel.

Disney Boardwalk. Pic credit: DisneyFoodBlog

A nice advantage of staying at the Swan and Dolphin Hotels is the Disney Boardwalk. It is a boardwalk type area around a lagoon. On one side is a couple Disney resorts, but on the other side there are restaurants/bars, (including a dueling piano bar and a dance hall), souvenir shops and food and drink carts.

Lastly I’ll comment on Disneyland. Disneyland is just 500 acres, while Disney World is about 40 square miles. Both are excellent, but because of size, Disneyland, in Anaheim, California, doesn’t have the extraordinary amount of choices. Also, unless you live in Anaheim, you’ll have to brave the traffic on the California highways, which sometimes can add a lot of time to your day getting there and back. Don’t get me wrong, I like Disney Land. Their Marvel Avengers campus is really awesome, as is the Star Wars area. But if you’re adults who don’t need themed rides and restaurant, then Disney World is the better choice for an adult vacation.

Despite this being a relatively long blog post, don’t just take my word for it. Hit THIS LINK and scroll past the sponsored Disney ad and read the plethora of blogs and websites saying what I’m saying. This is only the tip of the iceberg…

If you happen to see me at any of the aforementioned places this week, feel free to say Hi! ~Phil

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Posted in Disney, travel, travel advice

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Psychic Predictions for the 21st Century and Beyond

Posted on August 5, 2023 | Leave a comment

Yes, of course that’s me

Usually I only do psychic predictions year by year, but lately some visions of the distant future have been appearing in my brain.

Michel de Nostredame, aka Nostradamus, a French pharmacist, doctor, astrologer and future seeing psychic is renown for his cool name and predictions of the distant future. That’s never really been my thing, but lately I’ve been seeing glimpses of a future that may be very different than we might think. So, as a psychic, I’d like to leave a legacy like #Nostradamus did. Should I call myself Philstradamus from now on? Who am I kidding The Phil Factor is a great #psychic name!

Prediction #1: Aliens! In the not too distant future, the human race will learn to communicate with #aliens AND we will discover that the visitors in UFO/UAP spacecraft are not aliens. They are humans from the future. Physicists will discover that time travel is possible and the aliens are evolved humans from the future returning to learn about their history in much the same way that we do archeological digs. 

If he was really psychic, he’d have known what a tragic fashion choice that hair was

Prediction #2: Parallel universes? Prediction number one may be slightly wrong. The aliens might be time traveling humans from the future, OR the present.  We (and when I say we, I mean physicists) will discover that there are actually #parallel universes, and occasionally the fabric of reality between two universes wears thin or develops a hole, and things like UFOs and strange cryptid creatures may slip through and get stuck in our universe. 

Prediction #3 Is it time to move?  Weather phenomena, aka #climate change, will continue to result in more and more areas of the world becoming inhabitable to humans. Several countries will reinvest in their neglected space exploration programs in an effort to find places where the human race can survive. The first will be an attempt to set up a permanent base on the moon with regular ‘shuttles’ to and from Earth. It will be first manned by only NASA/military personnel, but will eventually begin to work in civilians. 

Image from Bloomberg

Prediction #4 What becomes of Russia? Sadly #Russia will eventually win this never ending war in #Ukraine, but not long after, Vladimir Putin will pass away under suspicious circumstances that will never be clear to the western media. Following a Russian cheer similar to “Ding dong the witch is dead,” the Russian government, at the urging of it’s citizens and the United Nations, will begin to craft itself  into a democracy over the next few decades, and Ukraine will be restored whole as a sovereign nation.

Image from People Magazine

Prediction #5 The Royal Family Look, I enjoy the soap opera that the British royals have put on forever, but by the end of this century they will be phased out. People will care less and less about bloodlines and more and more about breadlines. Normally I might throw in a few jokes about the royal family being aliens, but I’m making serious predictions here. Although, if #King Chuck lives as long as his mum, we may want to check to see if they really are aliens. 

Image from Quora.com

Prediction #6 Us and them? In the distant future, sometime after 2060, the Earth will be split into two kinds of people. There will be the Techies, who embrace all that technology brings us, sometimes to the point that they give up their autonomy to the A.I. machines. The second kind of people will be the Green Earthers. They will shun most technology, with the exception of solar electricity and will try to live their lives the way people did before technology controlled everything. 

Just because I usually make jokes, that doesn’t mean that I can’t be serious about these #psychicpredictions. Psychics can have a sense of humor too! In the comments, I’d love to know you’re thoughts on these predictions.

Have a great Saturday! ~The Phil Factor!

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Is Disney’s Haunted Mansion Really Haunted?

Posted on July 28, 2023 | 3 comments

Could Disney’s Haunted Mansion really be haunted? Happily, the answer is yes! No one is sure, and it can’t be proved, but… what would you say if you knew that the tombstones outside the original Haunted Mansion in California’s Disneyland had the names of the original designers of the ride?

Pic from DVCshop.com

Sure, a decorative nod to the deceased creators of the ride may not be enough to convince you. Although, if you designed this iconic ride, the peak of your life’s work, after you passed away, wouldn’t you hang around to see people enjoy it?

That’s not why I think Disney’s most popular ride is haunted though. That tombstone argument is flimsy at best. What would you say if you knew that each Haunted Mansion at all of the Disney parks across the world also contained the ashes of thousands of people who passed away?

Photo by Annie Leibowitz featuring Jack Black, Will Farrell, & Jason Segel.

Yes, this must come as a shock to you that wholesome Disney parks are the repository for the ashes of many, many people. Don’t believe me, google it. There’s many articles online from many respected outlets reporting that many, many grieving relatives have brought the ashes of a loved one to rest at Disney’s Haunted Mansion. That’s why I believe that there’s at least one mournful Disney loving soul that hitched a ride with their ashes and family to the Haunted Mansion.

But don’t get too sentimental about what a wonderful final resting place the Haunted Mansion would be for your family member or pet. Disney cast members have a code they say into their walkie talkies when they find ashes somewhere in the Haunted Mansion. They say “code HEPA”. Yes, HEPA like the air filter. They vacuum up the remains of your loved ones and dispose of them. Not such a sweet final resting spot is it?

The next time you go the Haunted Mansion ride you might want to look for ashes in the car seat before you hop on. Also, keep an eye out for a ghost or two that looks just a little too real.  ; )

Enjoy Disney’s new Haunted Mansion movie in theaters today July 28th!

Have a great weekend!! ~Phil

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Throwback Thursday! The Rolling Stones Are Liars: My 2013 High School Reunion

Posted on July 27, 2023 | 3 comments

I’m posting this today because this weekend is ten years since that 2013 high school reunion, and I’m going to another high school reunion this weekend.

(07/27/13)  Of course the old people joke above doesn’t apply to me and all my classmates who are attending our reunion this weekend.  The high school reunion; that American institution where we renew friendships, reminisce, and catch up. We remember who we were and we talk about who we’ve become. Last night I had a very nice time talking with many, many old friends.

Back to my title. The Rolling Stones are big fat liars. Mick, Keith, Ron and Charlie. Every one a liar. Pants on fire. The whole nine yards. What did they lie about? They lied about time. Time is SO not on our side. Judging from how haggard The Rolling Stones look, time isn’t on their side either. Especially Keith.

I know where you think I’m going with this, but you’re wrong. Yeah, sorry about that. I’m not going to bemoan how the years have changed my classmates and I. If anything, I was pleasantly surprised by how good everyone looked. My old friends are happy and healthy and doing well. At least the ones that attended our reunion.

reunion

In addition to attending reunion activities I also went back to the neighborhood of my childhood. I’ve only been there a few times in the last twenty years. Everywhere I looked there were ghosts.

If I looked at a street corner I could see the younger versions of my friends and I goofing around and I could hear the echoes of thirty year old conversations about inane topics. Walking by house after house, memories of adventures came to life in my minds eye as if not a day had passed.

The most startling revelation however is that apparently since I grew up I’ve become a giant. The parents of my childhood friends are smaller and shorter than I remember them. As my friend and I walked the streets it was amazing how much the houses had shrunk and now look old and run down a bit.  The walk around the block which seemed so long as kids is now barely long enough to be considered much of a walk at all.

Street Sign

I know that all these things are illusions. People age and the neighborhood that was the whole world to us as kids suddenly appears small and old when I return to it from the larger world I’ve explored since I left home.

Damn it Mick Jagger, you promised that time was on my side. I blinked and suddenly that naïve, wide eyed boy from a small town turned into an adult with a mortgage and acid reflux.

I guess more appropriately, this weekend illustrated to me the truth in the title of that Thomas Wolfe novel; You Can’t Go Home Again. I tried and although my home and neighborhood are not what they once were, I enjoyed meeting with high school friends again who all seem to be better versions of the kids I knew. Here’s to old friends!

As always, if you like what you read at #ThePhilFactor please hit the Facebook share button, especially my high school friends that might be reading this. It was great to see you all again. And thank you to Cindy for all the pictures you’ve posted to Facebook. I’m sorry I couldn’t include pictures of everyone that was there. Have a great Thursday, and I’ll see you all tomorrow! ~Phil

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