Sexiest Man Alive…The Most Important Election

Now that politics are out of the way, we can focus on the most important election, People Magazine’s annual Sexiest Man Alive award. Is it an award? Is it an elected position? Are there certain “honors and benefits occurring thereto“?  If, in the comments below, you can tell me where the phrase “honors and benefits occurring thereto” comes from, I will appoint you as my chief of staff when I am voted Sexiest Man Alive.

Sexiest Podcasts Hosts?

Seriously People Magazine? The Kelce brothers are the sexiest podcast hosts? To be fair, I do not have a podcast yet, but when I do, I’m expecting this award because obviously the bar is set pretty low if these guys won that “award”.

This year People Magazine also had a Sexiest Man Alive Readers Choice Poll which had a variety categories, and none of them were Sexiest Blogger Alive. I’m literally fuming over that.  For Sexiest Handy Man Alive they chose Chip Gaines. Chip Gaines, really?!!? I’ve always hated him because he always looks like a homeless hobo on his show. I apologize to all homeless hobo’s for comparing you to Chip Gaines. You are way sexier than him. Chip Gaines is the guy that you look at and say, “How did a guy like that land a hottie like his wife?”

Feel free to go read the entire Sexiest Man Alive Readers Choice Poll and you’ll see what I mean. Who voted for these guys? It’s just one mediocre middle level Hollywood “star” after another. Not an Oscar award winner amongst them.  Talk about watering down your product! People Magazine got greedy. Until they add a World’s Sexiest Blogger, I implore you to inundate them with nominations for me. But World Sexiest Blogger will not be enough for me. I want the big trophy. The whole enchilada. I want to be Sexiest Man Alive. I know I am the Sexiest Man Alive, but how do I convince People Magazine that I am?

How about the fact that I created that cover years ago with some ridiculously rudimentary technology. There was no A.I. There was just my big head. Are you telling me that either of the Kelce brothers or Chip Gaines could do that? No, they couldn’t. And c’mon, the only reason that most of the world knows who Travis Kelce is because of his girlfriend.

She’s a Taylor, and I’m a Taylor (it’s my last name), so why does she get all the publicity? I bet that I’ve written more blog posts than she’s written songs. What kind of warped, twisted world do we live in where music is more important than words?

Stayed tuned, I’ll be back in a few days to give my totally unbiased opinion of the winner of this years Sexiest Man Alive. Thanks for reading! ~Phil