Category Archives: Fiscal Cliff

2013: The Year in Preview?

I’m not going to review the year either personally or in music, movies, or news. As is my tradition I will list the things I believe that should happen during the coming year. There isn’t a single media outlet that can resist the obligatory “Year in Review” piece. Why? We all know what happened! We don’t need the events ranked for us. And for crying out loud don’t give us that videography set to music of the people that died this year! That’s so depressing it makes me want to join that list immediately. Please fold up your tray tables and put your seats in the upright position. Here is 2013: The Year in Preview:

1. Kill the Fiscal Cliff: I vote we eliminate this phrase from the national vocabulary in 2013. Whether we go “over the fiscal cliff” or not I am tired of the phrase. It’s panic mongering by a print media that is looking for something to put in the news magazines and newspapers just to stay in business a little longer before the internet and e-readers render them obsolete. 

2. Flying Cars: Everybody my age was told we’d all have flying cars by now. Well?!!? Where are they? Were the Jetsons lying to us? When I was a kid the year 2013 was way into “the future” where we would all have flying cars. I want mine. Instead of working out the bugs in hybrid vehicles why can’t GM or Ford get to work on a flying car. I don’t care if the first flying car gets 1 mile per gallon of gas, put me on the list for one. I wonder, what happens if a flying car runs into “the cloud.” Will all my iTunes come falling out?

3. An end to the “end of the world”: I have “end of the world” fatigue. In 2013 I’d like to see absolutely no mention of the end of the world whether it be by Mayan prophecy, a vengeful deity, asteroids, or zombies. Which brings me to my next wish for 2013…

4. The Year of the Werewolf: We’ve done ghosts in The Sixth Sense, Paranormal Activity etc. We’ve done vampires in the form of Twilight (I just threw up in my mouth a little when I typed that). We’ve done zombies in The Walking Dead and well, just about everything. Let 2013 be the Year of the Werewolves! Yes, I know they’ve had a little play in the Twilight movies, but c’mon, we have yet to really dedicate a pop culture groundswell of popularity to werewolves. Books, movies, bad t.v. series on the CW, the werewolf marketing opportunities are endless! 

5. Embrace Global Warming: Al Gore is a moron, well, except for inventing the internet. But how is global warming a bad thing? Put on some sunscreen and enjoy! What? The polar ice caps are meltingand ocean levels are rising? Great, more water is available. We have a pipeline that runs from Alaska to the lower 48 states. If we can lay a pipe that long, why not run one from the ocean to the desert areas of Africa so they can grow some crops there! Third world hunger problem eradicated. You’re welcome planet Earth.

If you have any ideas of what you think should happen in 2013 feel free to leave them in the comments below. Also, if you want more Phil in your life in 2013 you can subscribe to The Phil Factor on your Amazon Kindle and try my new humorous murder mystery novel White Picket Prisons by clicking the link at the top of this page. As always, thank you for reading and if you like what you read please click the Facebook Like or Share buttons.



The Pop Culture Moratorium List

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will pass a law that will allow me to place a media moratorium on 5 topics for as long as I deem appropriate. If I had that power today, this would be my list:

1. Lindsay Lohan: No offense Lindsay, but I shouldn’t be able to write your Wikipedia page with just the information I’ve absorbed passively over the last ten years. When you accomplish something positive or constructive I will take you off this list.

2. The Duggars: Being tragically bad at birth control is not reason enough for fame. The fact that I have billions of brain cells and one of them is filled with the word “Duggar” for all of eternity infuriates me to no end. 

3. Kardashians: All of them. Yes, their last name is fun to say, but can anyone name anything they’ve contributed to the betterment of the planet and human race? I would find a deserted island with no contact with the rest of humanity and put all the Kardashians on it until they figure out how to use their “fame” for the good of others. 

4. The Fiscal Cliff: Holy crap! For a phrase that didn’t exist a year ago we all know it now don’t we? Guess what everyone? The country is 16 trillion in debt and if we don’t start paying that back sometime…ummm…aaah…ummm…what happens? We don’t know, but we’re all vaguely anxious because the phrase “fiscal cliff” sounds scary and the media keeps saying it. Maybe if we think of it as a frugal guy named Clifford it won’t be as scary, as in “That Fiscal Cliff is a cheapskate, but he managed to put away enough in his 401k that he can retire at 55.” 

5. Twitter: Apparently nothing can exist or be considered significant unless it’s on Twitter, where if it can’t be said in 140 characters then it doesn’t need to be said. Twitter is the intellectual equivalent of eating one jelly bean after another instead of having a full meal. 

Other topics on the verge of making this list: Obamacare, Gangam Style, Ben Bernanke, and Rob/Kristen/Twilight.

If you enjoy my nonsense and have no desire for a Phil moratorium you can subscribe to The Phil Factor on your Amazon Kindle, follow me on Twitter @ThePhilFactor, and you can buy my humorous, murder mystery  novel White Picket Prisons available for the Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble Nook, and in the iTunes bookstore.