Pic courtesy of NASA
It’s coming. It’s coming on Monday and there’s nothing that I can do to stop it. I am in THE PATH OF TOTALITY. That sounds pretty ominous doesn’t it? The title PATH OF TOTALITY sounds terrifying!
I live in New York, not the city, but I’m in New York, and between the earthquake and THE PATH OF TOTALITY, it feels like we are being put on notice by the universe that we better get our sh#t together or it will send something else soon.
If this was an ‘end of the world‘ kind of movie, we’d see THE PATH OF TOTALITY cutting through the United States like a giant laser, vaporizing everything and everyone in it’s path.
Pic from Fodor’s Travel Talk
Looking at that picture, it appears that THE PATH OF TOTALITY might cut right through my house. Do I go outside to look at it? Do I hide in my basement, hoping that it misses me? Or should I get in my car tomorrow morning and drive out of THE PATH OF TOTALITY?
Getting hit by THE PATH OF TOTALITY might be painful. What sunscreen do I need for that? SPF 5000?
Weird eclipse things that people do: Centuries ago before the modern weather reports, no one knew when an eclipse was coming and they would just freak out for a few minutes because they didn’t know if the sun was coming back. What some cultures did to make the sun come back was to ritually sacrifice someone. Really folks? It gets a little dark in the afternoon and you solve it by murder? How do you even find a murder victim in three minutes? How stupid were people a thousand years ago?
To be honest, I would still bet that somewhere in the world, someone will get sacrificed during the eclipse. The only thing I’ll be sacrificing during the eclipse will be a cup of coffee and a few cookies.
Back in 2017 when we had another big eclipse, a scientist at NASA said one of the best eclipse phrases ever uttered. Angela Speck, a researcher at the University of Missouri who is part of the AAS Eclipse Task Force told Space.com that conditions are “going to resemble a zombie apocalypse.” A Zombie apocalypse? How great would that be? Read Space.com if you want facts. Read me if you if don’t mind a little fact fudging now and then.
Look at those flimsy cardboard glasses! How is that supposed to protect me from THE PATH OF TOTALITY ?!!? They sure didn’t help with the earthquake.
Have a great apocalypse, oops, I mean eclipse. And don’t sacrifice anyone. It’s only three minutes and 49 seconds of darkness. See you on the other side!
Thanks for reading! ~Phil
