Memo To Cell Phone Users

WE CAN HEAR YOU! YOU ARE TALKING OUT LOUD! I thought I’d capitalize everything just so I would seem as loud as most cell phone users who have personal conversations just about anywhere they go. Here are some segments of cell phone conversations I’ve overheard in the last 24 hours; At Dunkin’ Donuts today: “Well don’t scare her. Did she shave her head? Where was the clot? How big was the incision? Ok, I’ve got to go I’m going to order my coffee now. Bye.” In front of the tanning studio next to my gym last night a young woman was talking loudly: “Don’t try to blame this on me! I didn’t know you were almost married! Engaged! No, I’m not even going to go there! I feel sorry for your fiance. She seems nice and she doesn’t even know about you.” Aaaaah! Young love gone awry. It brings a tear to my eye. It’s a big shock that the brain box who didn’t know her boyfriend was engaged was standing in front of a tanning studio eh? I swear I could do an entire blog on overheard cell phone conversations. At Dunkin’ Donuts I was about to order a jelly donut until Ms. Discrete in line behind me started talking about cutting open heads to get blood clots. Every day I’m tempted to pull out my cell phone and start faking conversations just to watch people listen. “Ring, ring!” “Hello? Yeah, it’s me. Hi Paris. No, I didn’t say anything. Does Paris know? Good. Yes, I still have the video. No, I promise I won’t do anything with it. That bitch Nicole called, but I wouldn’t talk to her. She’s still blaming you. No, Paris, you know I wouldn’t make that kind of video with anyone but you. I swear she’s lying. What? You’re engaged?!!? I feel sorry for your fiance! He seems nice and he doesn’t even know about you. Click.”