On the Second Day of Christmas….

I want someone to give to me…. a special law that limits the times of day the elderly can drive and go to stores. No, before you all attack me for being anti-elderly hear me out. Fact No. 1: The elderly drive slow and move slow. Fact No. 2: Fact no. 1 is very frustrating for the faster moving people. But, I also believe that the elderly are also frustrated by the difference between the speed they move and the speed others move. I’m sure they don’t enjoy people honking at them on the roads, pushing by them in stores, beating them out for a spot in line at the cash register, huffing impatiently behind them as we are blocked while they attempt to navigate the ever narrowing store aisles with their walkers. Let’s face it, we are all probably somewhat rude to the elderly in this way. I think that if there was a law that stated that the elderly cannot be on the roads during morning and evening rush hour and that they should limit their shopping to the hours of 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on weekdays we would all be happier. The elderly would no longer have to put up with an ever impatient society trying to shove them aside and the rest of us would see a corresponding decrease in our blood pressure on a daily basis. The elderly could then browse the stores at their leisure in a pseudo-Dawn of the Dead zombie-like march down the aisles and on the roads. Don’t get me wrong, I love the elderly. I hope to be very elderly one day, albeit with all my mental and physical faculties intact as they are today. I can only imagine that as an elderly gentleman someday that I will be likely to use my cane to hit in the shins any rude, young, punk who tries to rush past me to get in line ahead of me at the supermarket. (I know you’re all going to kill me for this one)

6 responses to “On the Second Day of Christmas….

  1. I am not going to berate you for your opinion on the elderly. I will say, they probably aren’t out between 10 to 4 b/c they are at home catching up on the latest blog entries. Some elderly woman will read this blog, see your picture, and seek you out! When she finds you she will beat the crap out of you with her cane and bind you with her old lady underwear.Thanks for the laughs…you crazy little whipper snapper!

  2. Hmmmm….being bound by an old ladies underwear. That could be interesting.

  3. lol . . . am I going to hell for laughing at that?

  4. Berly- If you’re going to hell I’ll save you a seat right next to me.

  5. I have wanted a law to be enforced that ANYONE, regardless of age, that it be ILLEGAL for anyone who is not employed during the typical work week (8-5, M-F) to shop, run errands, get gas, use the post office or anything else that working people have to do during the hours immediately before or after work and on lunch breaks.

  6. But its like initiation! When your old you get to annoy people like you. Just like old people did to you.Who knows what you might disrupt if you stop this cycle.Don’t you want your future children to know what its like to be stuck behind someone who is eighty?

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