My sincere Christmas wish is that I’d like everyone to stop saying “See you next year!” during the last 14 days of each calendar year. Think about it. How often does some co-worker, friend, or family member gleefully shout out “See you next year!” and then laugh as if they’ve made the funniest joke they’ve ever heard? Hmmmm…let’s see, by the time I was about 7 years old I had already heard that comedic gem roughly 2000 times. This is another thing I would make a law against when I’m elected President or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first. Don’t start calling me Scrooge over this either. I showed how sensitive I was with that penguin story yesterday didn’t I? (By the way, how many of you visualized a little penguin-shaped chalk outline on a sidewalk behind yellow police tape?) I think that from now on, whenever some Seinfeld wanna-be departs my company by gleefully shouting, “See you next year!” I’m going to just as gleefully respond, “Shut the hell up!” with a big smile on my face.
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor. thephilfactor.com
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