Red, Red Wine…

you make me feel so fine.
You keep me rockin’ all the time- UB40

I never thought it would come to this. I always thought I was too good, too smart, too prideful to let this happen. Growing up I secretly vowed to myself that I would be different. I would be the exception. It might happen to everyone else, but it wasn’t going to happen to me. I was wrong. It is happening to me. I’ve fought against it my whole life, but I’m tired of fighting. This week I finally gave in. It’s not so bad. There haven’t been the furtive glances, the finger pointing, or the subtle shakes of the head that I expected. I may still be fighting my conscience, but it’s a battle I’ve already lost. It’s painful to admit, but I think it’s true. I’m turning into my parents.

Don’t we all grow up saying, “I’ll never be like my parents”? For me the epiphany that made me realize that my worst fear was coming true was when I bought a box of wine. Two years ago during a routine physical exam my doctor suggested we check my cholesterol. It came back high. His first suggestion was that I drink one glass of red wine each day. My response was, “How about a beer?” Nope, it had to be red wine. Not being a wine drinker I tried to ease the pain by buying fairly good wine. I still spent about a year choking it down like medicine every night. I eventually became accustomed to the taste and began experimenting with different brands, flavors and countries. I soon began to realize that a glass of good wine every day can get a bit pricey. I went a little cheaper now that my palate was used to the taste. I tried the less expensive wines, but still the cost was a bit more than I wanted to shell out regularly. One day I stole a guilty glance in the direction of the boxed wines. What?!!? I get 32 glasses of wine for the price of one good bottle? How could I resist?

Sadly, I now realize that this is but one small step down the slippery slope of turning into my parents. I’d love to write more, but I have to go tell my kids about the old days when telephones were actually attached to the wall by a cord. Right after that I’m going to slip into my plaid shorts, black socks, and sandals and head out to mow my lawn.

14 responses to “Red, Red Wine…

  1. As long as you don’t get to this…“A hard drinker, being at the table, was offered grapes for dessert. ‘Thank you,’ said he, pushing the dish away from him, ‘but I am not in the habit of taking my wine in pills.”~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, “The Physiology of Taste”… you should be fine.

  2. Dear Phil,I live alone.It is important to say that because the implications of what I am about to reveal will be much more sad if you know that there wasn’t actually another “person” in the whole of the apartment to “hear” me say this….I’m cleaning house, right… and I’m all flushed and slightly ill-tempered from having to do this in the first place. When I finish vaccuming (I always forget is it two Cs and one U or one C and two Us) … I reach over and jerk the plug out of the wall… stand up straight and look around and without thinking say, “Jesus(!) What are you doing! Every freaking light in the house is on!”

  3. Thanks Cinthia, I love a good quote.Amy- Yes, I find myself walking around the house turning off lights all day while I grumble to myself.

  4. Thanks Phil, I needed this. When I need a laugh I just show up here…although I was pretty pissed off and concerned about your stalker so I showed up last week just to see if you were still alive. You were.

  5. Tsk Tsk, shame on you Phil succumbing to the ole “Chateau Cardboard”!!Just remind me when i come over to bring a few aussie reds 🙂

  6. Michelle, Coincidentally I was buying a lot of Aussie reds. I enjoy them very much.Barbara- Thanks for dropping your grudge and coming back. I won’t fool anyone here until next year.

  7. You just reminded me. I need to mow the lawn. I guess I’ll go put on my uniform.

  8. You bought. a . BOX . of’re kidding. right?uh, April Fool’s day is OVER Phil!

  9. YOU BOUGHT A BOX? LOLOLOLOLOL! I’ll never look at you the same way. :0)

  10. wine is good…but then i’m italian and have been drinking red wine mixed with gingerale since I was 2

  11. Ummm, I don’t quite know how to respond to that post !!!Don’t drink too much !!Take care, Meow

  12. Oh Phil, box wine is great. Seriously.Sorry about the parents thing though. Good luck with that.

  13. Can I make an appointment with your doctor so he can prescribe wine for me too?

  14. don’t know if the box wine is as good as the $2.99 a bottle Boone’s Farm wine, now that is some good stuff. occasionally i have to look over my shoulder for my parents when my line of reasoning is reduced to “because i am your mother, thats why”.

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