Britney and Kevin Sitting In A Tree…

God, I hope those two idiots don’t sit in a tree. They’d probably drop their baby from it. News broke today that Child Welfare Services and a sheriff’s deputy paid a visit to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Spears yesterday. Apparently last week Mr. and Mrs. Britney brought their 6 month old child to the hospital after he had fallen from his high chair. In February of this year Child Welfare Services also visited the esteemed couple after Britney was photographed driving with her then 4 month old child in her lap. This kid already has two strikes against him named Britney and Kevin, the last thing he needs is a head injury.

I rarely venture too far into serious political or social commentary here, but today I think I will. I think that there should be some kind of intelligence test before people are allowed to reproduce. I’m not saying that people with I.Q.’s a tad on the low side shouldn’t be able to reproduce. You don’t have to be smart to be a good parent, you need to have common sense. My Parenting Intelligence Test (PIT) would have prospective parents answer a series of sample questions to test their parenting common sense. Here are a few sample questions:

1. If you are a heavy drinker and you’ve just discovered that you’re pregnant you should:
A) Stop drinking alcohol until after the child is born
B) Drink light beer.
C) Find out who the father is
D) Marry a random back-up dancer and tell him the child is his

2. If your newborn child should awaken crying during the night you should:
A) Check to see if the infant needs to be fed or changed
B) Tell him/her to stop
C) Close the door
D) Tell Kevin that if he wants to keep living in your house he damn well better go take care of that kid.

3. If you are driving your car your child should be:
A) Strapped securely into his car seat.
B) Riding on your lap
C) Home with Kevin. Why would I want to go out in public looking all motherly?
D) Driving the car. I’ve probably already had too much to drink.

4. Your child seems to cry quite often. Too soothe him/her you could:
A) Rock him gently and sing to him.
B) Give him/her a pacifier.
C) Put him in a child swing
D) Tell him/her that Kevin Federline really isn’t his father.

11 responses to “Britney and Kevin Sitting In A Tree…

  1. Blahahahaha! Great stuff! Amen to that post!~Fab : )

  2. ROTFL… There so should be a test before being allowed to have children…the world is populated by idiots multiplying. They should be stopped.-N

  3. I’ve worked with CFS a bajillion times, and i’ve seen parents lose their children for less…Actually, the CFSA was change not so long ago to say that if the child is “at risk of being injured, or at risk of being neglected”….they added “at risk”…which surely widens the margins of those who are involved, but better safe than sorry.the ONLY reason she hasnt lost her kid yet, is because she’s somebody…surely she’s a fucking idiot…but she’s still someone famous. Who wants to be the one who took “Britney Spears” baby??? I wonder how many strikes they need….she’s already proven herself an unfit mother….

  4. heheheheheheMy side hurts.

  5. I wish they had that test here. The bloody govt is hell bent on giving money to women who reproduce. Women can virtually do anything to their kid and DOCS shut their eyes.

  6. I really hate that she has turned into such white trash since meeting Kevin.I miss the days of Britney and Justin. *sigh*

  7. HA! i’m here via linny via shady, and i LOVE IT! i’m gonna have to poke around a little more. but people worth of parenting and not worthy of government-regulated sterilization would argue D, B, D, D.

  8. amen phil, amen…mandatory norplants and can be re-tested every 5 years. hmmmm wwill brit and kevin be together in 5 years. see my plan would work.

  9. Hey Phil, best wishes to you and your family for Easter :o)

  10. Natalia- My point exactly.Princess- Sadly in the states it’s extremely difficult for kids to be taken away from stupid parents.Berly- Thank you. You pain is duly noted and appreciated.Michelle- Yup, same deal here. It’s a shame.Linny- Kevin didn’t turn her into white trash. Britney already was a stupid bumpkin.Lauren- Welcome to The Phil Factor!d.- Mandatory norplants sounds like a good idea in some cases.Thanks Michelle! Same to you!

  11. Sad, sad, sad, only the tip of the iceberg though, good post, funny and true, all too true. Happy Easter!

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