Coming Next Fall: American President!

Don’t wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It’s going out to idiot America.

-Green Day

Wednesday night America voted and chose their next singing superstar. A spasmodic gray-haired man who dances like he’s just dropped a radio into the bath with him. Over 63 million votes were cast. As has been widely reported, that number is more than any President in history has ever received. American Idol is so popular that the Fox network has run it two nights a week for the last 4 months and won the ratings time slot every time. “Idol,” as the fans call it, is talked about in every workplace, reported on in every newspaper, and mentioned on every news program. America feels passionately about their right to choose. There has been nothing since World War II that has united Americans the way that Idol has. Even if you don’t watch it, you know it exists and most likely you know the names. This next statement is supposition on my part, but I defy anyone to find evidence to the contrary: More Americans can name Simon, Paula, Randy and Ryan than can name the Vice-President.

Technology has made Americans lazy. Unless we can see it on a little, glowing screen “it” makes little impact upon our lives. There is a very real possibility that newspapers, books, and magazines will be something our grandchildren will only read about on history websites. Equally obsolete is the American electoral system. We’ve elected the head of our country, the so-called leader of the free world, by the same method for 150 years. My question is, how do we get voters interested and motivated in our political system again?

The answer is simple. Why not make our Presidential election more modern? Why not choose our President the way we choose our American Idol? Let’s make it a t.v. show where voters can call, I.M., or text message our votes as many times as we want as we narrow the field down to two candidates. With our current system Americans have very little say in who the final two Presidential candidates are. I want the choice back! The t.v. show, American President, could have auditions in several cities with a panel of intelligent but entertaining judges weeding out the obvious losers. Sure, we’d have a few William Hungs or Crazy Daves, but after our last few Presidents whose to say we didn’t already elect the equivalent? If politics were more entertaining, more people would be informed and invested in voting. And yes, I am proposing that people get to vote more than once if they want to. Why not? If you care that passionately about your candidate that you’ll spend two hours a week text messaging then you deserve more say in the outcome than the lump who sits on their couch eating cheetos and won’t lift a finger except to lick that orange stuff off. I can’t imagine anything more entertaining and suspenseful than to hear Ryan Seacrest say, “America voted and I’m going to tell you who your next President will be….after the break.”

22 responses to “Coming Next Fall: American President!

  1. OR, you could have a fairer system where voting is compulsory :o)

  2. Poor Tyler. Or Taylor. Whatever his name is. It’s not a bad idea, Phil. If they could jazz up the debates a little, and people didn’t have to go <>all the way down to the high school <>(egads) to cast a vote, but instead could do it from the comfort of their cheeto-stained couch… it just might work! Bring on the dog and pony show! Without knowing more, compulsory voting seems like a frightening proposition… the ignorant masses going eeny-meeny-miney-moe because they’re forced to vote? Yikes.

  3. I originally thought that Taylor looked a bit like Jay Leno, but since you put his pic right next to Simon, I am convinced he looks like a combination of the two of them.I am not politically inclined, so I have nothing more to add on this topic.

  4. Wordy McWord 🙂-N

  5. hell, let’s just not have a president and whoever wins American Idol rules the galaxy.

  6. While I have never watched even one minute of any American Idol show, because of its ubiquity in the media and thus in the American consciousness, I am forced to participate, if only peripherally, in the idiocy of the voting public. I am appalled that more votes were cast for a lightly talented singer than were cast for any of our presidents. Priorities, people! Get your priorities in order! Your suggestion that eligible voters be allowed to cast their ballots via electronic media without the effort entailed in actually going to the polls, panders to the laziness of the public. Good government takes effort from everyone involved, both the candidates and the voters. We all have a stake in who runs our government, but turning the voting process into a celebrity popularity contest would dilute the importance of the decision. I fear we are becoming a nation of superficial sycophants to the tv personalities that rule the airwaves. The solution? I have none. I only have the hope that common sense will prevail and the voting public will take their responsibility seriously when the time to exercise their right to vote is actually upon them.

  7. Makes me glad I don’t have television or internet at home.

  8. Hemingway wanted to write, “One true sentence.”bobciz wrote like a hundred…and I think he seemed to overlook the comedic value in Philip’s post. More pantomine than gravity bobciz. Or maybe you just wanted to string a bunch of big words together to sound sagacious…like me.

  9. Michelle- I agree with Jmai. I don’t think voting should be compulsory. If you’re made to do something against your will chances are you’ll do it badly.Jmai- I agree with you. Anything to involve voters. My idea is that we get to vote by phone or computer until the final election between two candidates. Then we’d have to go down to the high school. Imagine the turn out!Kim- Just curious, in your life what have you cast more votes for, President, or Idol?Natalia- What?!!?Karate Kid- Welcome to The Phil Factor. You’re idea that the Idol winner should rule the galaxy isn’t that far fetched. I think more Americans listen to what the Idol contestants say than to the President.Bobciz- All I’m saying is that if our legitimate candidates could be packaged to us as slickly as the Idol contestants we’d all be text messaging our votes and more involvement in the political system would be good for the country. Annelynn- Welcome to The Phil Factor. You don’t have a computer at home? Then you actually traveled somewhere to read my gibberish? Wow, I’m flattered! Thank you. Where are you doing your blog from, work?Karate- Thanks for chiming in again to point out that my post may have had comedic value. I think your second comment pretty much hit the nail on the head.

  10. The cool thing about Idol is how America does pick its favorites and has some say. If Americans had more say on who the candidates were for the elections, not Asshole A. and Bigger Asshole B., i think they’d be more interesting in voting. Americans currently feel helpless in this world of politics, but on American Idol, we have the power! Great post dude!

  11. I don’t watch Idol anymore, and the answer to your question is Presidents (which I am betting surprises you for some reason). I do excercise my right to vote, but I don’t get caught up in politics.

  12. That makes me sad that more people voted for American Idol than the current president…Politics is SO important, although sometimes boring…. That makes afraid for the future of your nation…..sorry for the serious post

  13. Sorry Phil, you’ll never convince me. Done way too much research on this subject for Uni, to know better :o)

  14. An intriguing post with some interesting ideas. Clearly there is an issue with American politicians. My parents have recently returned from your country and the view from “outside” is that the only reason that Bush got in was because there was no one better. That is certainly a sad state of affairs. People should vote, and if allowing them to do it by text / whatever helps why not embrace the technology?

  15. Hmmm…now there’s an idea!

  16. G-Man- Thanks. You whittled my point down to one or two sentences. I’m sure most readers wish I could manage to do that.Kim- I’m not surprised. I was just teasing you. Obviously if you read my blog you’re far too intelligent to get swept up in the American Idol nonsense.Princess- A Canadian feeling sorry for Americans? Now that’s a role reversal! Just kidding. It is sad that people care more about a t.v. show than who runs our country.Michelle- Maybe I need more education to understand your system of government better.dzeni- Thanks with agreeing. As for your parents impression that Bush is Pres. because there was no one better, that’s partly true, but it’s also scary that the majority of people who did vote chose him.

  17. Attila- Thank you! : )

  18. Don’t hate on Taylor. I like him. Though…I am still pissed that Chris got voted off…he is sooooooo hot.

  19. Linny- I wasn’t hating on Taylor. The big goof is definitely entertaining, but he’s not as good a singer as Elliott or Katherine. Now Katherine, she’s hot. If she needs anyone to console her after her loss, sign me up.

  20. I’m wondering when we elected a president with hair as gray as Taylor’s. Even Reagan’s wasn’t gray.

  21. yeah Michelle!

  22. What do you guys talk about now that AmericanIdol has finished? Here everyone talks about BigBrother, its a sad state of the world I think. Btw, I’m new to reading your blog but am really enjoying it, finding it very funny, thanks!

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