On Sunday I saw Amish and yesterday I saw Mennonites. Mennonites buy their clothes at the same store as the Amish, but they give themselves permission to drive a car to the store. On Sunday I was in a small town lawn and garden store when an Amish family rode up on their bikes. Amish are pacifists. They don’t believe in violence of any kind. My 8 year old needed a self-esteem boost so I sent him over to pick a fight with the biggest Amish guy there. He totally kicked his ass. Then I went over, took their picture and told them I was stealing their soul. What a great father-son bonding experience and now we’ll always have a picture to remember it by. Just yesterday I saw Mennonites in an inner city McDonald’s. I mean this was seriously in the ‘hood. It was in the same plaza as the FREE HUMAN HAIR store. I can’t think of any reason they’d be there other than to stalk me. I wonder if one of the Mennonites is at home this morning working on his blog: “I saw Phil again today…”