Now That Is One Delicious Deity!

I’ve got to start eating better. Not because I’m in particularly poor shape, or because my cholesterol is out of control. Apparently some people find religious deities in their food. I’ve eaten a lot of food in my life, but not once have I ever found the face of Jesus Christ, Buddha, Mohammed or Elvis in my pancakes. In a chocolate factory in Fountain Valley, California this week workers found what they believe is a holy representation of the Virgin Mary in chocolate.

I believe the people who feel that these food faces are holy signs are completely off their rockers. No offense if you’re one of them, and good luck with your e-bay auction of that St. Francis of Assisi potato chip. Think about it; if you are an omnipotent deity with cosmic powers, are you going to screw around putting your likeness on something that by chance could fall into the hands, and then mouth of an atheist at a pub who looks at his cheese doodle and says, “Oh look Ted, it looks like a face in my cheese doodle, crunch, crunch, crunch. Hey bartender, we’re out of cheese doodles over here.”

When I’m a deity I’m not going to waste my time putting my face in snack foods. People will wake up one day and suddenly there will be an extra head on Mt. Rushmore, or the Eiffel Tower will be bent into the shape of my profile. That’s how you get the word out that you’re the guy to worship. Either these snack food Gods aren’t very bright, or the people who see them are just seeing what they want to see. And if putting your face in people’s food is the way Gods go about getting publicity, why doesn’t anyone claim to see Satan in their Corn Flakes? If Coke is running a big add campaign you can bet Pepsi will counter it. Satan needs to get off his fiery, red ass and get to work. He’s losing customers. Then again, how many of you women have eaten a pint of Haagen Dazs while watching a Lifetime movie on a lonely Saturday night and said, “The devil made me do it”?

15 responses to “Now That Is One Delicious Deity!

  1. People see what they want to see..if I stare at anything long enough….I might indeed see your image…woo hooo!And you blog is back! *does the happy dance*

  2. I have a friend who got chicken fingers for dinner at one place. One of them was shaped like balls and a penis. He kept it. I agree with Sunny…People see what they want to see.

  3. <>i see dead people<>the only place i see people where they shouldnt be is in my dreams…. well and in clouds toootherwise i am in full agreement w/ yoou

  4. I remember some moron had a cheese sandwhich on ebay in the shape of jesus LOL, i think it sold for $35, i guess he wasn’t a moron after all!

  5. …when YOURE a diety…

  6. hello, passing through..I read about that this morning in the newspaper..pretty freaky isn’t it…maybe it really is a sign??

  7. Sunny- Like I said, when I become a deity the world will know it ASAP! Thanks for your help with the link thing and your help in restore my blog to it’s previous grandeur.Princess- He kept it? You didn’t figfht him for it?Question Girl- Thank you for agreeing with my wisdom.Michelle- I wonder if I could just draw a face on a potato chip and sell it on e-bay?CC- Yes, …when I’m a deity. Why set goals if you’re not going to shoot for the top?Fancy Face- I think it’s a sign of the apocalypse that people lose their minds over an oddly shaped piece of chocolate. The average IQ of humanity appears to be dropping.

  8. Where do I start with all the things that are wrong with this post? I have a friend who swears she sees reflections in her windows of things that are not there. She’s even taken pictures to prove it. I just don’t see it. I don’t get it. Maybe I lack imagination or I’m a pessimist, but it’s a freaking hunk of chocolate!Hottest man, the pope, president and now a deity?! Phil, I hope you never die, the world needs a super hero like you.

  9. Phil – Ya, Of course…im not THAT hard up you know. I might be single, but ive got options. And Chicken fingers are not one of them. LOL!!!

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  11. “When I’m a diety….” That’s brilliant Phil!

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  13. I read about this in the newspaper. I always think this kind of stuff is a load of crap. Had I been a worker in that factory when that happened, I would have bitten it in half just to piss everbody off. However, I have been a little moody these days.

  14. I’d bite into it and then immitate Homer Simpson, “Mmmmmmm…sacriligious….”

  15. that whole last paragraph was so funny, i couldn’t choose a favorite line. keep it up.

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