Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

In the United States it is traditional to get together with family on the Thanksgiving holiday and share the important things you are thankful for before gorging yourself on a meal centered upon the large, dead carcass of the ugliest bird in North America. Every year everyone shares the usual platitudes about being thankful for family and good heath. Duh! Who can’t come up with that? So without further adieu, here are some of the everyday things I am thankful for:

1. As mentioned previously, I’m thankful for global warming. Last winter I had about 6 inches of snow in November and 6 inches on the day of the Super Bowl. Other than that it was snow free all winter long, which is astounding in my area. I’m so into global warming that I stocked up on aerosol cans and Freon before they banned both. Now each day I release a little of each into the atmosphere. I’m hoping to create a hole in the ozone directly about my house to let the sun shine in all year long.
2. The hiccups. Yes, I’m thankful for the hiccups. They make others laugh and they make me laugh at myself. They’re small, funny, unpredictable, and you never know when they might take control of your body. That kind of sounds like an orgy between Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs doesn’t it? I remember a St. Patrick’s Day in college when I went out with my friends at 3:00 in the afternoon. By 4:00 I had the hiccups and they didn’t stop all night long. I had them so bad it was impossible to get drunk. I’ve never forgotten that night. To this day I’m certain that fate intervened in the form of hiccups to prevent me from doing something catastrophically stupid. I don’t know what it was going to be, but it must have been pretty bad.
3. New socks. Damn I love a new pair of cushy, warm socks. In the winter there’s nothing better than having your feet ensconced in a cocoon of soft, warm, cotton.
4. Blogger saving all my old posts so I can just edit and update my Thanksgiving post every year.
5. Canadians. Without their funny accents, lame t.v. shows and colorful money what would life be like? But I’ve never met a Canadian I didn’t like. We should invade them and make them the 51st state. They’re kind of like the United States pet aren’t they? All cute and cuddly, harmlessly playing in the snow up there.
6. I’m also thankful for all my blog friends who keep visiting and commenting even though I don’t always visit your blogs every day or reply to all your comments. So tell me, what unusual things are you thankful for?