During my overnight flight to London I fell asleep. When I awoke I found myself tied down, flat on my back, with dozens of tiny Englishmen scurrying about. Either the English are extremely small or I had become a giant overnight. At first they were fearful and in no mood to free me, but when I said I had to pee they relented. I gained their trust and they finally allowed me to roam freely. At first I won them over with my charm to the point that they even put a sign on the side of their iconic red, double decker buses:
I apologize for the blurriness, but the buses in London always travel as if they’re trying to achieve warp speed. But I did say “Touchbase” fourteen times. You know how the British paparazzi are. They followed me and wrote down everything I said.
I couldn’t wait to see the most iconic monuments in London and Paris. Sadly though, because of me being a giant over there, they weren’t as impressive as they look on TV.
This is the glass pyramid entrance to The Louvre in Paris. For a pyramid, not that big..
They really took offence when I sat down on Stonehenge. I thought it was an outdoor toilet. Obviously I’m not going to post that picture. After a day of my stomping about picking up their monuments as if they were toys, the Brits and the Parisians got sick of me and set up a website imploring their governments to have me deported. Again, I found this out when I saw the advert on a double decker bus that whipped by my ankle at 700 mph. Here’s the link to the site: BeatPhil.com
At the end of the day I went to Piccadilly Circus to meet the King of England for a break dance battle to settle our differences. I let him win to help repair relations between myself and England. How sweet is that outfit, right?
Since I just got back last night I didn’t have time to write a narrative post about my trip but I will probably do so one or more times in the coming week, As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor I’d love it if you did that social media sharing thing by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil