This is particularly appropriate as Downton’s new season recently began in the States. I originally posted this rant on Jan. 18 2014. Right now I’d like to add one new joke I just thought of: Downton Abbey is the British Big Brother but with old people. Yes, you have my permission to use that.
Yes, I meant to write Downtown Abbey. That’s the way us non-Downton watchers say it. I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be Downtown Abbey anyway. When they titled the show someone made a typo and nobody noticed until it was already on the telly. That’s a true fact that I made up.
Downton Abbey is just Harry Potter without the magic! What’s the point in that? It’s even got Professor McGonagle in it! The current Downton mania is out of hand. It’s like Downton is the British Breaking Bad. If only they’d fire Carson so that he had more time to cook meth.
For the last 15 years most American’s only understanding of British culture has come from the Harry Potter movies, so thank God for Downton Abbey. It’s a much more realistic view of everyday life in Britain. As much as I’d like to be a part of the euphoria that is Downton fandom I just can’t. Why? Because it’s on PBS. I was done with PBS when they started adding new characters on Sesame Street. A-holes. Way to ruin a good show. It’s the Cousin Oliver syndrome. You can’t just go all willy nilly adding new characters to well established shows. Anyway, why watch PBS? who wants to sit through their shows without a commercial break to go to the loo or to tell us what products we should buy to be cool. If that’s the British way, no thank you.
While we’re on the subject, I’m pretty sure that the British won the Revolutionary War too. They might as well have because they’re winning the cultural revolutionary war right now. Who doesn’t love a British accent? Anybody? Nope. Didn’t think so. How about Harry Potter? Anybody not see those movies? We even love British culture so much that one of our football (soccer) teams went out and bought Britain’s most famous player. Most of America is also obsessed with Princess Kate, Prince William and Prince George. (They’re the British version of Kim, Kanye and North, except with about 200 more I.Q. points.) And now Downton Abbey! Why did we even bother fighting the Revolutionary War if we were going to spend all our time wishing we’re British?
Well I for one am not going to fall for it. I’m a true blue American to the core. In fact I…oops, sorry, gotta go. I left my bangers and mash on the cooker and they’re starting to burn. Cheerio!
As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share it by hitting the Facebook button below. If you wanted to try one of my books on your Kindle that would be nice too. They’re even in the U.K. Amazon store!
Interestingly I may be going to London in a couple months, so perhaps I should start watching Downton Abbey to prepare. Have a great weekend~ Phil