If you can’t solve a situation with finger guns then the protocol requires an escalation to a rap battle. Here are the Top Ten Situations That Should Be Solved by a Rap Battle.
10. Presidential elections: Or the leadership of any country really. It’s the 21 st century, voting is so last century.
9. Court cases: I believe that either the lawyers or the defendant and the accuser should engage in a rap battle to determine the outcome. Imagine how exciting it would be to see someone rap their way to freedom? Or what if we could get out of traffic tickets with a good rap?
8. Your Final Destination: Regardless of your religion, there’s something that’s supposed to happen after death. If you can beat your deity in a rap battle you get to choose.
7. Every restaurant check: You versus the waiter or waitress for the check. You win and you don’t have to pay. How great would that be? I can’t say I’d win, but I’d practice for it.
6. Football games: Both American football and European Football. If the game ends as a tie in regulation a fan from each team comes out of the stands to midfield for a rap battle. Winner wins the match. That would guarantee a sellout of every game.
5. Darth Vader versus Luke Skywalker: Or maybe Harry Potter versus Voldemort. Both of those are better than a lightsaber or wand fight, right?
4. In school: If you can out-rap your teacher you get the grade you choose.
3. Negotiating for the price on a new car.
2. Every argument between spouses: No offense ladies, but you’d have to up your game for this one. No husband wants to be outrapped by his wife.
1. Baby names: A husband versus wife rap battle right there in the delivery room. That might be the best reality show ever. You watch a live birth and then get to see a rap battle for the right to name the child.
If you have any other ideas for funny situations that could be solved with a rap battle please put them in the comments. Have a great Tuesday!~Phil
Loved this Phil! I saw a video on YouTube with a guy rapping his order at the Drive-Thru at McDonalds – and they made him pay for his order! If you decide to hone your rapping skills, make sure there is video evidence!!
When my kids were really young they had one book that was all rhyme and I read it to them like a rap. I thought it was hilarious but they hated it. That’s the extent of my rapping ability.
And now I need to go watch several Epic Rap Battles…I blame you for sending me down that YouTube rabbit hole. 😉
LOL I had to resist the temptation to put a bunch of those Epic Rap Battles videos in this post.
Job interviews!? 😀
That’s an awesome idea! Let me know how it goes.
I cannot rap. My life would be fairly miserable if so much depended on my winning a rap battle. Thank you for this extra gratitude I’m feeling, Phil.
Hey there waiter, what;s the scoop
There seems to be a fly in my soup
The lettuce is wilted and there’s no way
That I’m payin this bill today
I’m telling you I just can’t cope
With a daughter named Gayle or Hope
I’m layin it down and it’s no joke
We’ll have to name her Cantaloupe!
You know of course that I thought of you when I wrote this. I was eagerly anticipating your comment. I think you would do well in a world based on rap battles.
I was thinking so. I could probably write a poem that is one of those rap battles…withe due credit of course.
I have sometimes tried reading Green Eggs and Ham like a rap and when I try my wings with other things, I am shot down pretty quick, Phil.
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