That Time I Went To A Psychic

About 6 years ago I had my first experience with a psychic medium. If she was any good she’d be called a psychic large. Am I right? A winery near me had a psychic medium doing tarot card readings every weekend. For $25 you’d get a glass of wine and your reading. Below are my cards. Truth be told, if she really is psychic she’d know that the flower print table cloth is a terrible background for people who want to take pictures of their cards.

I’ll tell you my mind set approaching this. I believe that psychic phenomena does exist, however, I am skeptical of those who claim to have psychic abilities. I take a “prove it to me” approach. I went into the reading determined not to give the psychic any information that would lead her into general statements that I would then interpret through my point of view and believe she was psychic.

As soon as my psychic, Maren, dealt the cards I shouted “Blackjack!” which she didn’t even laugh at.  Interestingly, just now as I typed “dealt” I accidentally added an “h” on the end of it, making it dealth which is only a letter away from death.

Yes, I did get the death card. I didn’t panic because first of all, I’m Phil, and secondly, in writing a good novel your main character can be faced with three types of death: physical, romantic, or occupational. Think about novels you’ve read and you’ll see one or more of those themes in all of them. For me the psychic surmised that the death card was related to a work situation. She was right. I hadn’t lost my job, but had recently found out I wouldn’t be getting a highly coveted promotion. That was one in favor of the psychic.

To start the reading, I was asked to choose an identity card. She explained the traits of each and asked me to choose the one that I felt reflected my personality the best. I wanted to choose the Knight of Swords but was told that I was too old to be a Knight, so I had to be a King. Obviously she wasn’t taking mental age into account. The knight definitely is more my mindset.

Of the Kings I chose the King of Wands. Maren laid this down and flipped over a card that completely covered my identity card. She paused and looked up at me. The card was the High Priestess card. “Are you psychic?” she said. “You’re either psychic or very intuitive.”

I didn’t admit if I was psychic and allowed her to continue. She had laid out the cards in the Celtic Cross formation. I was pleasantly surprised that she was spot on accurate on a bunch of things and happily the final card of my reading was the Three of Cups card seen below, which indicates a happy ending that apparently has nothing to do with a massage.

As far as the last card being the celebration of some accomplishment, you’d think if her goal was to make her customers happy she would give that card to everyone.

I went with my wife and two friends who also had readings and none received similar interpretations in their readings. In our discussion after, we discovered that everyone’s readings were different and everyone felt she was surprisingly accurate, even the two of us that went in as skeptics.  My verdict: I think Maren really did have some psychic abilities.

At the end she handed me her business card which said “Maren’s Messages. ” I was disappointed it didn’t say “Maren’s Massages.” A massage and a psychic reading in one? How awesome would that be?

I know this isn’t as funny as most Phil Factors, but here’s my idea:  If I’m psychic or intuitive, in addition to the fact that I have a Master’s in Psychology, I imagine that I’d be pretty good at this process.  What if, as a party entertainer I did humor infused psychic Tarot card readings? “What? The Death card! Ummm….no I don’t take credit. You’ll have to pay cash. Right now.”  Or maybe, if someone gets The Three of Wands “Oh sorry. Your co-workers like you….the way Ukrainians like Putin.”  I’m pretty sure if I studied the cards and put some thought into it I could come up with a bunch of smart ass lines. What do you think? Should I go into the psychic party entertainment business?

Thanks for reading! I knew you would ; ) And keep coming back for the rest of this month for more