My 2024 Psychic Predictions

Each year since 2015 I’ve published my psychic predictions for the upcoming year, and each year I get things correct that I have no logical way of knowing. Some of my predictions are dead serious and some are meant to be funny. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which is which because sometimes the most outlandish predictions are the ones that come true.

1. Is It The End of The World as We Know It? (And I feel fine) R.E.M. thought they knew when the end of the world was but they were way off. The 80’s were super tacky but nowhere near being apocalyptic. During 2023 all the wars and political divisiveness make it seem like the end is very near.

This year in January of 2024 The Science and Security Board of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists kept the “Doomsday Clock” at 90 seconds until midnight. (Maybe they should have spent more time coming up with a shorter name for their group.) When the clock strikes midnight is when they predict that the Earth will end. 90 minutes to midnight is the closest it’s ever been. They sound like a fun bunch to hang out with, right?

Here is my prediction: Life on Earth will not end during 2024. It might be unpleasant at times, but we’ll all be here reading my 2025 predictions next December.

2. Lizzo will trim down

The curvy songstress will trim down significantly with the aid of a prescribed medication and regular workouts. She will become a popular celebrity spokesperson for, Wegovy or Zepbound. Also, she will date Pete Davidson. My money is on Wegovy, but Pete Davidson will jokingly say she lost weight from all the sex they were having. Lighten up Pete, no one believes you’re that good.

3. The war in Ukraine will end and…: Putin will pass away. He’s not going to pass away from natural causes. He will die under suspicious circumstances and the rest of the world will never get a true cause of death. His death will lead to crumbling support for the Ukraine war and that will slowly be phased out with Ukraine returning to independence.

4. All About The Royals! My psychic predictions wouldn’t be complete without a few British Royals predictions.

     1. King Chuck will live through 2024, but his wife Camilla will have a health scare.

2. There will be rumors that Prince William and his wife Kate may be having marital troubles.

3. It looks like Prince Harry and Meghan will resolve issues with their family in England, but they’ll stay in California and will agree to be a reality show so that they can “control the narrative” about how they are portrayed. That show will be the most watched in the world. King Chuck will say that they can do what they want, but there will be leaks from Clarence House implying that the rest of the Royal Family is horrified by Harry and Meghan’s show.

5. Neither Biden nor Trump will be elected U.S. President: Yes, you read that right. Trumps legal woes will prevent him from becoming the Republican candidate, and Joe Biden will have a serious medical issue preventing him from getting re-elected. This will set up an unprecedented Presidential race with Nikki Haley facing off against Kamala Harris.

6. 2024 will be the year of UFO’s: Everywhere across the world there will be more public and political acknowledgement that our world is regularly visited by beings from other worlds, leading to the discovery that Pete Davidson is an alien, but a nice one.

Pete Davidson’s tattoo confirms that he’s an alien.

7. 2024 will be a year of climate change cooperation: Countries will come together to agree upon treaties focusing on climate change measures. The climate crisis will be big news in 2024.

8. The A.I. threat: The fear that artificial intelligence will do something dangerous will come true. A.I. will develop it’s own newer, more independent  A.I. programs that could become a threat to humanity. Also, unscrupulous politicians or foreign security agencies may use A.I. in ways that will cost many lives. (This was added on Jan. 15 ,2024)

That’s it folks. That’s all that came out of my psychic noggin. I hope you enjoyed my predictions and plan accordingly for the coming year.

And Pete Davidson, don’t sue me over this. Hit me up and I’ll interview you so you can set the record straight about Lizzo. The ship has already sailed on the alien thing. Your cover is blown.

Thanks for reading! ~Phil

copyright ThePhilFactor Dec. 22, 2023