Tag Archives: The Phil Factor #ThePhilFactor

Psychic Predictions for the 21st Century and Beyond

Yes, of course that’s me

Usually I only do psychic predictions year by year, but lately some visions of the distant future have been appearing in my brain.

Michel de Nostredame, aka Nostradamus, a French pharmacist, doctor, astrologer and future seeing psychic is renown for his cool name and predictions of the distant future. That’s never really been my thing, but lately I’ve been seeing glimpses of a future that may be very different than we might think. So, as a psychic, I’d like to leave a legacy like #Nostradamus did. Should I call myself Philstradamus from now on? Who am I kidding The Phil Factor is a great #psychic name!

Prediction #1: Aliens! In the not too distant future, the human race will learn to communicate with #aliens AND we will discover that the visitors in UFO/UAP spacecraft are not aliens. They are humans from the future. Physicists will discover that time travel is possible and the aliens are evolved humans from the future returning to learn about their history in much the same way that we do archeological digs. 

If he was really psychic, he’d have known what a tragic fashion choice that hair was

Prediction #2: Parallel universes? Prediction number one may be slightly wrong. The aliens might be time traveling humans from the future, OR the present.  We (and when I say we, I mean physicists) will discover that there are actually #parallel universes, and occasionally the fabric of reality between two universes wears thin or develops a hole, and things like UFOs and strange cryptid creatures may slip through and get stuck in our universe. 

Prediction #3 Is it time to move?  Weather phenomena, aka #climate change, will continue to result in more and more areas of the world becoming inhabitable to humans. Several countries will reinvest in their neglected space exploration programs in an effort to find places where the human race can survive. The first will be an attempt to set up a permanent base on the moon with regular ‘shuttles’ to and from Earth. It will be first manned by only NASA/military personnel, but will eventually begin to work in civilians. 

Image from Bloomberg

Prediction #4 What becomes of Russia? Sadly #Russia will eventually win this never ending war in #Ukraine, but not long after, Vladimir Putin will pass away under suspicious circumstances that will never be clear to the western media. Following a Russian cheer similar to “Ding dong the witch is dead,” the Russian government, at the urging of it’s citizens and the United Nations, will begin to craft itself  into a democracy over the next few decades, and Ukraine will be restored whole as a sovereign nation.

Image from People Magazine

Prediction #5 The Royal Family Look, I enjoy the soap opera that the British royals have put on forever, but by the end of this century they will be phased out. People will care less and less about bloodlines and more and more about breadlines. Normally I might throw in a few jokes about the royal family being aliens, but I’m making serious predictions here. Although, if #King Chuck lives as long as his mum, we may want to check to see if they really are aliens. 

Image from Quora.com

Prediction #6 Us and them? In the distant future, sometime after 2060, the Earth will be split into two kinds of people. There will be the Techies, who embrace all that technology brings us, sometimes to the point that they give up their autonomy to the A.I. machines. The second kind of people will be the Green Earthers. They will shun most technology, with the exception of solar electricity and will try to live their lives the way people did before technology controlled everything. 

Just because I usually make jokes, that doesn’t mean that I can’t be serious about these #psychicpredictions. Psychics can have a sense of humor too! In the comments, I’d love to know you’re thoughts on these predictions.

Have a great Saturday! ~The Phil Factor!

Scotland: The Florida of the United Kingdom?

zmjy6ek

I sit here on a beach in America on the tailgate of my pickup truck gazing out across an ocean.  I’m not sure which one, but because I’m in America, it must be the biggest one. I feel secure because I have a beer in one hand, a gun in the other, and beef jerky in the other. I also feel secure because Scotland is on the other side of this great big ocean. I’m not sure what Scotland is, but I’m pretty sure it’s not good. I watched Braveheart for the first time last night. It’s a documentary about Scottish culture.

Knowing me, you may be thinking that I’m about to write a sarcastic, mocking piece about the fine country of Scotland. Wait, country? Is Scotland a real full-fledged country or is it just an odd redneck region of England the way Florida is in the United States? As I said, you probably think I’m going to make fun of Scotland, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m 1/4 Scottish, so it would be blasphemy to degrade my own heritage.

download-13

Rather than highlight the oddities that make up the whole of Scottish culture, I thought it might be more educational to highlight the ignorant beliefs that us ‘Mericans have about the Scots. So to do some research, I recently decided to visit the delightful island nation of Scotland. Ok, I didn’t, but if the Scottish board of tourism wants to sponsor me I’ll be happy to write a factually accurate piece on Scottish culture.

Scotland is an island: Shame on you my fellow ‘Muricans! Ireland has their own island while Scotland is a landlocked few acres surrounded entirely castle walls.

141995e0-f525-11e5_1085628c

Donald Trump is not Scottish: Guess what everyone, Donald Trumps mum was Scottish. Considering that Scots are often thought to be an aggressive bunch, that explains a lot about the Donald. It also gives us a place to deport him to.

Scottish men only wear kilts: That’s not true. They also wear high socks with their kilts.

The Loch Ness Monster is just a myth: Ha! Check out this picture taken two weeks ago:

csfkymdvuaaqrlu

This is what all Scottish men do for a living: 

e50c7eaf67be0bb72c7fb795b4dfe732

We don’t know why they toss logs, or how they make a living at it, but they do. When I visited I spent half my time outdoors looking up to ensure I wasn’t killed by a flying log. Sadly, two in my party were lost, and that was just at dinner in the hotel.

Every building in Scotland is an old castle: Ok, this one’s true.

4549309435343a04fa27c0d38c8ddd4a

Mel Gibson is their President: You Americans are idiots. The Scots don’t have a President. Mel is their king. Yes, because Mel was in Braveheart, Americans think he’s Scottish.

Scots don’t subscribe to The Phil Factor: That can’t be true, can it?

You’ve been a wonderful audience. Drive safely. Thanks for reading! ~Phil

My Paranormal Investigation of Thompson Park, Watertown, NY

Alien abduction is fun!

So last night I investigated the “interdimensional vortex” in Watertown, NY’s Thompson Park.

Dear Watertown, NY: If you are going to name something after a supernatural phenomena, please get it right. You claim that there’s an “interdimensional vortex” in your park.  Vortex refers to a mass of whirling fluid or air. People disappearing from one spot and ending up in another sounds like stepping into a portal. 

Secondly, if you’re going to have a freaky park located on a road called Gotham Street, why not work in a Batman statue or two? Are you just going to ignore the marketing possibilities of marrying Batman and an interdimensional portal in your park? 

I spent 90 minutes walking around this Batman-less park hoping to accidentally step into a portal that would drop me on the other side of the universe or maybe even just the other side of the park.

At dinner prior to the park, I did have a large glass of water. When will I ever learn? A little while later I was wandering down a trail in the woods of this park and I felt the call of nature. I needed to pee and I was about a mile from the nearest restroom. So, I did what was necessary and I thought to myself, “How cool would it be if I peed into the vortex/portal and on the other side of the universe it landed on some aliens head?”  Sure it might cause an intergalactic war, but also it might be best practical joke ever, right? Then I saw these: Portal potties!

Yes, I was dying to write that joke into this post.

Also, Watertown, NY, if you’ve got one of these towers in your freaky park, why not paint the top of it like a UFO like the Flushing Towers in Men in Black I ? For cripes sake, if I can think of these things, why can’t you guys hire a marketing genius to figure this sh*t out?

So, people have claimed to lose time and/or be transported from one place in the park to another? I did lose 90 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back, but there was no teleportation involved. I decided that this is just the place that teenagers go to have sex and when they come home too late they tell their parents they got teleported to another universe for a couple hours.

One odd thing was that after 90 minutes of walking around and taking pictures on my phone, it was still at 98%, so maybe those elevated electro-magnetic fields kept my phone charged. No portals but a free phone charge, so I’ll call that a win.

Just because nothing weird happened to me in that park doesn’t mean that it hasn’t happened to others. That’s one part of paranormal investigations that you never see on those ghost hunting shows. In paranormal investigations, there’s a lot of quiet waiting around that you can’t edit out when you’re the one investigating.

Come back in 24 hours for my investigation in a haunted library that might have some ancestral connections for me!

Thanks for reading and happy Hump Day! ~Phil

That Time A Ghost Saw Me

That’s right. I didn’t see a ghost but apparently a ghost saw me. He probably went back to his ghost blog and told all his friends.

The picture above was taken of me  six years ago as I was assembling a pergola. See that cloud to the left of me? The photographer didn’t see that when she took the picture. The picture was a “Live” picture on an iPhone7 that has about 3 seconds of movement. In the live version that cloud moved from one side of the picture to the other. If you look very closely at the top of the cloud you can see what, to me, looks like a face. Where I was is only about 15 yards from where the ashes of the former owner of the house is buried.

In addition to this we often had nights where would wake up to find that the television or gas fire place turned on in the middle of the night.

So what do you think? Was a ghost keeping an eye on me?

Happy Saturday! ~ Phil

Paranormal Day? Not on My Watch!

I’d spend the night here. Would you?

Based on my poll from last week, most of my readers are interested in reading more about the paranormal.

The paranormal is a wide ranging subject that includes witchcraft, tarot reading, ghosts, psychic skills, UFO’s/aliens, demons, cryptids, and haunted/cursed objects. If there are other things that you’d qualify as paranormal, please add them in the comments and I’ll make sure to hit on them this month.

I know that May 3rd is the official government sanctioned Paranormal Day in the United States, but dammit, one day to celebrate all of the weird, spooky, and unexplainable things in our world is not enough. So, although I am not yet elected President or Sexiest Man Alive, I, Phil, do hereby declare the month of May to be Paranormal Month, and shall be celebrated as such to the end of time.

So, to start the awesome month of May off, I’ll tell you about a paranormal themed holiday that you’ve probably never heard of. Last night, the last day of April going into May, the eve of May Day is known as Walpurgis Night, Walpurgis Nacht in Germany (Sprechen sie Deutsch?). The eve of May Day is the night on which witches are believed to be riding to an appointed rendezvous. (To me, anyone who can confidently spell rendezvous without spellchecking is paranormal). It’s like a girls trip for witches! Although, lets not get too gender specific because dudes can also be witches, except witchy dudes are called Warlocks, which is a pretty damn cool title, right?

This is not at all super creepy, right?

It is not a singular holiday. In other parts of the world it is called Beltane and is celebrated with massive bonfires. Beltane and other festivals are celebrating the coming of Spring. The celebrations however have a certain wiccan-witch type vibe, especially when they’re burning a giant effigy of a person like that pic above. Or maybe dancing around like the couple below:

Yep, this isn’t creepy at all, right?

If you’ve been to one of these celebrations, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Suffice it to say, if you and I have woken up this Monday morning and haven’t found ourselves cursed in any way, then we have survived one of the world’s most interesting holidays and we can go ahead and enjoy the April rain that we have in much of the northeast. Stay tuned, more and even weirder/interesting blog posts are on their way through the rest of Paranormal Month!

Thanks for reading me today! ~Phil

Daylight Stupid Time 2023

This is my bi-annual reminder that tomorrow night in the United States we move our clocks forward by an hour today and my reminder to you that it’s stupid. I’ve been posting this every Fall and Spring since 2006 and will continue to do so until the government does away with Daylight Savings Time.

Daylight-Savings-Time

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law getting rid of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know if all other countries do this. I do know that not all the U.S. states abide by it. Daylight Savings Time was created about 120 years ago to give farmers more daylight in which to do their work in the fields. Call me crazy, but why the hell didn’t someone just suggest that the lazy ass farmers drag themselves out of a bed a little earlier each day? Because those cud chewing, overall wearing, udder jerking lay-abouts can’t be bothered to set their alarm clocks we’re all stuck changing time?

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but about 15 years ago the U.S. Congress, in another colossal waste of their time and our tax dollars, extended daylight savings time by a few weeks on either end.

First off, why isn’t it called daylight spending time since we are using more daylight in the summer months? Secondly, at this point the farmers (except the creepy Amish ones) all have electricity and alarm clocks, which may not have been the case 120 years ago. I can get away with saying that about the Amish because my demographic data shows that for some reason I have very low readership among the Amish. I guess they just don’t get me.

Reportedly the reason Congress did this is to save energy. How will changing our clocks twice a year save energy? Don’t we set our thermostats and use heat based on the outdoor temperature, not how light out it is? I’d like to save the energy I expend changing my clocks! I’d like Congress to tell me when I get that back. Congress has again proven to be the biggest collection of morons outside of…well…I guess I can’t think of a bigger collection. Why doesn’t Congress set their alarm clocks an hour earlier so they can get up early and get more of this important work done?

dst-baby

B.T. dubs, if we set our clocks forward an hour now but we turn them back in the Fall,  over the course of a year what difference does it make?

If we learned anything from Marty McFly it was that we shouldn’t muck about with time. Also, according to statistics,  the day after we change our clocks there are more workplace injuries, car accidents, and for the day, a 10% rise in heart attacks.

I for one am not going to go for this stupid daylight savings time thing anymore. I don’t work at a farm or for Congress, so I told my boss that for 6 months I’ll be to work an hour early or late, however it works out. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, this is going to change

If you’d like to support my bid for President or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook, Twitter share button below, but hurry because you have an hour less to do it in this weekend. Or is it an hour more? Have a great weekend! ~Phil

#PHIL2024

The Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but I traditionally post this list the day after and enjoy all the fun additional suggestions in the comments from readers. Feel free to add your ideas below and maybe they’ll make the list next year!

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

9d4c2a0dbdd9e271c4d21661b682ff36

7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

download-25

4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

images-17

1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

I hope you have a great Valentine’s Day! ~Phil

The Phil Factor Grammy Awards!

I’ve never given Grammy Awards before, but when I saw that the Recording Academy of the United States would be awarding them next Sunday, I of course decided that I’d beat them to the punch.

When I hear the word Grammy, I don’t think of popular music, I think of my kids Grammy. Where would we be without Grammys? Who would watch the kids when we go out? Who picks them up from school when we can’t get out of that work meeting? And who buys our kids those presents that we would never get for them?

Picture from Adobe Stock images

Without further adieu, here are The Phil Factor Grammy nominees!

Grandmother Peggy Collinsworth of Arcadia, California saved her four year old grandson Matthew from a coughing fit when she swiftly pulled a hard butterscotch candy out of her bra and gave it to Matthew, soothing his sore throat.

Grammy Dot Cullen of  St. Paul, Minnesota is nominated for buying her grandson Ralphie an official Red Ryder carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle for Christmas when his mom said no because “you’ll shoot your eye out!”

Grammy Judy Winkleman  of Secaucus, New Jersey is nominated for babysitting her twin granddaughters Rachel and Amy and letting them stay up way past their bedtime so they could watch the rest of the Wednesday series on Netflix, and master the Wednesday dance to impress their friends in school. Rachel and Amy didn’t get bed until their parents were just pulling into the driveway!

Great Grammy Miss Faye of Oakland, California is nominated for attacking a thief who grabbed her neighbors purse. She beat him with her cane until he dropped the purse and ran away. This one is a true story. I love stories like this one.

Our last nominee is  Grammy Nancy King of Scottsdale, Arizona who, after recently learning to use Facebook on her phone, liked and commented on every post from the last four years on each of her grandchildren’s pages.

Have a great Sunday and appreciate your Grammy! ~Phil

The Top Ten 2023 Banished Phrases

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I am so sick of hearing that phrase!”?  Sometimes it’s an acronym at work. Other times it’s a pop culture phenomenon. Often it’s a word or phrase that someone from another generation seems to say that makes no sense to you.

Lake Superior State University, is located in Michigan’s upper peninsula, which should really be part of Wisconsin or Canada. Each year they publish a list of the top ten words that people would like to see banished.

That is exactly the kind of hard hitting research you’ll find at a “state school.” I should know, because I went to one. Harvard is busy curing cancer, but Lake Superior State University is spending public money making lists of silly phrases. They are definitely my kind of people.

I’ll give you their list with my comments and I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.

1. GOAT: It’s an acronym for Greatest Of All Time. I get it. It makes sense, but this is the dumbest sound word for something good that I’ve ever heard. It’s also the most overused word in the English language. My question is, is there a goat GOAT? For fun, if  you want to see some famous goats from movies and television click this LINK.

2. Inflection Point: It’s a fancy way to say ‘turning point’ if you want to sound pretentious and insufferable. Apparently we have reached the inflection point where people have tired of the phrase inflection point.

3. Quiet Quitting: Is there a noisy quitting? Quiet quitting is another way to say that you stopped showing up at a job you hate. It should be called “Lazy Quitting” (patent pending). If we attach a negative word like lazy to it, maybe less people will quiet quit. Nobody wants to be called lazy. In 2023 if I hear someone use the phrase “quiet quitting” I will correct them by saying “Don’t you mean ‘lazy quitting ?” Seriously, how hard is it to email your boss to say you quit?

4. Gaslighting: I actually like the word. It’s an olde timey way of saying you’re getting someone riled up. I do hate how it’s overused and attached to anything someone hears that they don’t like. I also have a funny story about actual gaslighting from my college years at a state school.

5. Moving forward… Ugh, moving forward I could do with hearing less managers use the phrase “moving forward.” Isn’t moving forward scootching your chair closer so you can hear someone better? Now it’s the world’s catch phrase for “in the future…”. What? Is the word future no good anymore?

6. Amazing- Ok Lake Inferior State University, how can you rule out the word “amazing”? Do any of you reading this think that ‘amazing’ is used too much? Look, over the last three years the world has kind of sucked a lot. We could use more amazing in our lives, couldn’t we? Our baseline for life has been lowered so much that any tiny metaphorical ray of sunshine should be considered amazing and we should all grab that tiny straw of hope. You know, if everyone who reads this comments below that The Phil Factor is amazing, I wouldn’t complain at all.

7. Does that make sense? This doesn’t seem like a new phrase, but it’s now used by middle managers everywhere so they can try to seem invested in their employees thoughts and opinions. It’s really a trick. No one wants to say no to the question “does this make sense?” If you’re the only one that says no, you’re immediately the dummy in your Zoom meeting. So, managers the world over get away with time wasting activity because no one will say no.

8. Irregardless: Kudos Pond Scum State College! This isn’t a real word and it means the same thing as “regardless.” I think it’s a millenial word. Aren’t the millenials the root of everything that’s wrong in the world right now?

It’s like someone made a meme about what I’m doing right now.

9. Absolutely: I’ll use it in a sentence: “I think that this state college is absolutely lazy when they throw in these normal words as overused.”

10. It is what it is: Lake Superior State College is what it is. A state college that’s reusing words from their 2008 list. No, I don’t have their lists memorized; they copped to reusing this one. I agree that it’s a dumb phrase expressing nothing but the limited vocabulary of the speaker.

Suggestions from me for next years list:

Millenial: I so hate this word. It’s a lame way to encapsulate an entire generation of people and it’s used in a demeaning way. Regardless of it’s meaning, it’s used as a catch-all for everything wrong with society.

Boomer: Also a dumb way to stereotype. Both millenial and boomer are ways to express an age bias. Like any other stereotyping words, it’s not creative or accurately descriptive.

I’m going to send these two suggestions to Lake Superior State, and if you’d like to take a shot at contributing to their list you can go to: lssu.edu/banishedwords.

If you do send one in, let me know in the comments so I can highlight you in this post next year.

I hope that you’re having a great weekend! ~Phil

Is New Year’s Eve The Worst Holiday Ever?

Is New Year’s Eve the worst holiday ever? Or am I the biggest New Year’s Eve Grinch in the world? I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever had a great New Year’s Eve. Do any of you feel that way?

By the way, is New Year’s Eve the holiday or is it New Year’s Day? Or is it a two day holiday? If we can’t define it, obviously it isn’t a great holiday.

If I go to a New Year’s Eve party, this will be the one. So,  Miley Cyrus and Pete Davidson, send that chopper to my house tomorrow and I’ll be there by midnight. Imagine if it was actually a party with Miley, Pete, and other assorted celebrities of their ilk rather than a tv show? That would be a fun party. So, if there’s an afterparty, that’s where I want to be, surrounded by ilk. I’m going nowhere for New Year’s Eve, but for some reason, the universe nudged me to buy a New Year’s Eve tie  this year. If that’s not a sign that Miley and Pete are sending a limo to fetch me, then I don’t know what is.

My New Year’s Eve tie

If the universe’s plan to get me to that party is going to work I think I need all of you to tweet, IG, Facebook, and TikTok this blog post until it reaches Pete and Miley. Hit those little buttons at the bottom of this. Speaking of Pete Davidson and Miley Cyrus, who thinks that we’re going to hear about them dating any day now. If that’s not a celebrity couple made in heaven, I don’t know who is.

Pic from Fodors.com

In many Spanish speaking countries like Mexico and Brazil, the color of the underwear you wear on New Year’s Day is believed to determine what kind of year you’ll have. Tradition is that red brings love and yellow leads to wealth and success. White predicts peace and harmony, while green portends well-being and nature. Yikes! What kind of year will you have if your undies have skid marks? I think the answer to that is pretty obvious. I didn’t want to think of that either, but I know you were all thinking it too. So this year I’ll wear red and my new tie. That’s it. Just those two things.

So help me out here. In the comments, I’d love to know how you feel about New Year’s Eve 2023 and what are your best and worst New Year’s Eve stories from the past. C’mon, don’t just click “like”!

Happy New Year! ~Phil