Kit Kat bar! I just bought a NEW Kit Kat Extra Crispy. The wrapper says that it’s “Twice the crisp!” How the hell do you measure crisp? On the wrapper they even include “*as regular Kit Kat.” They went to the trouble to include an asterisk explanation of the crispness just so you don’t mistakenly think it has twice the crisp of something else. Like what? A cucumber? How do you even quantify that it has twice the “crisp” of the old bar? I ate it and it definitely did not seem twice as “crisp” as previous Kit Kat bars. If something has twice the crisp, I expect to be able to cut my mouth on it. I’m going to call the company using the “Questions or comments, please call 1-800-….” Here’s how the conversation will go:
Phil: “Hello, Hershey Company? Yes, I just bought a Kit Kat Extra Crispy and it did not seem to have “twice the crisp” of my previous Kit Kats. In fact I’m pretty sure there was only one and a half times the “crisp.” I either want the other half of a “crisp”, or I want my money back.”
Actually, right after I wrote that last sentence I did call the Hershey Company to ask how they measure the “crisp.” Unfortunately you can only complain about your candy bars between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. M-F Eastern Standard Time. You weekend candy bar eaters are screwed. The Hershey’s automated phone system does have several options you can choose from including recipes, gifts, promotions and products. At the end the choices conclude with “In the event of a medical emergency please call 1-302-295-3209.” Who in their right mind calls Hershey’s first in the event of a medical emergency?!!? Willy Wonka maybe?