I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

I’m just an average man with an average life. I work from nine to five.             Hey, hell, I pay the price.  All I want is to be left alone in my average home. But why do I always feel like I’m in the twilight zone? And I always feel like somebody’s watching me, and I have no privacy.” ~ Rockwell 1984


Yeah, I got your back. All the blogs and news outlets are going with the Orwellian “Big Brother” references but I came up with a little Rockwell to stick in your head all day.  Yes, just for you, Phil Factor fans, I risked covert government monitoring and did a Google search to get the President Obama picture for you.  Do you know why I did that? I did it because President Obama, the National Security Agency, the FBI, and the CIA are the bomb. When I say ‘bomb’ I mean totally awesome of course.

Everyone is upset because The Patriot Act gave the government the right to monitor our electronic communications and they actually went ahead and did it. Guess what? I’m fine with it for two reasons; 1) I find the idea of the government reading my texts & e-mails a lot less intrusive than my plane blowing up. I’d rather someone read my texts than my eulogy. Now that is a great quote. I should copyright that and put it on a t-shirt. You know what’s really cool is that I used the words ‘Obama’ and ‘bomb’ in the same sentence earlier thus guaranteeing I would trip whatever internet monitoring filter the NSA has to search for terror communications. Hello to all the new Phil Factor fans from the NSA reading me today! Please share this around the office. I love what you do. Keep up the good work.

The second reason I don’t care if the government reads all my electronic communications is this:

“Once during a season in which Michael Jordan averaged 37 points he only had 12 three pointers. All season long.”

“He’s an idiot. He tried calling me too but I wouldn’t answer. We tried to tell him.”

“Come home for a few minutes and help us lift couches.”

“Cool you are nearly a geek!”

“Susan Rice at NSA, Samantha Power at the UN: the weakening of America continues…Did somebody say HOPE and Deception?”

Those are some of the texts that have been sent or received by me recently. Oops, how did that last one get in there? That’s from a co-worker who I won’t name so as to protect his privacy. (That’s a text? Jeez! Lighten up Francis.) If the government wants to read all my texts, be my guest. I don’t even want to read them most of the time.  And what about being “spied on” by drone planes? Remember people were upset about that a few months ago? If the government wants to watch me mow my lawn go right ahead, but I’m not taking my shirt off because the guns I’ve got might have to be registered as lethal weapons. (ok, take a minute to laugh and catch your breath) If those drone planes are going to be out and about I’d like to see the government do something useful with them to defray the cost to taxpayers, such as this video of Domino’s using one to deliver a pizza.

I like to keep it light and not drone on too much (pun totally intended. Hoping for a free pizza), so I won’t preach or get too political. Just to entertain you here’s the original Rockwell video we all enjoyed in the 80’s. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please hit the Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or any of the share buttons below.

3 responses to “I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

  1. Omg very funny!

  2. I have no problem with government reading my emails either. God I can’t think of anything more boring.

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