It’s a nice day for a white wedding, or is it? Chicks dig the bad boys right? In a Rolling Stone interview a twenty-five year old woman named Star, who has been visiting imprisoned murderous cult leader Charles Manson for the last six years, announced that she and Chuck are betrothed. Personally I’m glad they took their time and didn’t rush into anything.
In lieu of an engagement ring the woman carved an X into her forehead to match Charlie’s swastika. Hmmm…she didn’t go full swastika? That says ‘lack of commitment’ to me. I’d better warn Charlie that she isn’t all in with this relationship. Of course, Charlie might not be either. When asked to confirm her claim of engagement Manson replied, “Oh that. That’s a bunch of garbage. You know that, man. That’s trash. We’re just playing that up for public consumption.” In other words, Charlie said, “Bitches be crazy.”
Next of Kin: A forty-five year old pilot in his single engine plane crashed at the Nashville airport on October 29th. Ok, that will happen occasionally. It’s tragic and sad for the pilot and his family. It’s especially sad for his family since he didn’t name them next of kin on his paperwork. Nope, he named Taylor Swift as his next of kin.
No, he wasn’t related to Taylor and had never met her. In response to this news Taylor may have said, “Dudes be crazy.” Or possibly, “No, I never dated him, but I’m sure I would have gotten to him eventually.
I don’t know if this guy was a crazy stalker or just had a sense of humor. I’m hoping it’s the latter. If I ever make a will or have to fill out life insurance paperwork, from now on I’m just going to pick some random celebrity out of a hat and name them as my next of kin and secondary beneficiary on my life insurance. That would spice up the funeral wouldn’t it? “Pssst! Hey, is that Kanye West looking at Phil’s coffin? Oh look on the program! He’s giving the eulogy. Wait, why is Taylor Swift with him? Are they together?”
On a related note: Remind me not to fly into the Nashville airport. The pilot who crashed had circled the airport for more than two hours without being noticed and his plane sat on the runway on fire for seven hours before anyone found it.
This was a little bit different of a Phil Factor, but I did do real Phil Factors on both Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, so if you want some real laughs click these for my Sexiest Man Alive post and my Rob Ford interview. If you’re curious about the shoe tree posts that I’ve posted lately, stay tuned. There is a method to my madness. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor it would be great if you hit the Facebook and Twitter share buttons below. Have a great weekend!
It’s not funny, but it was hilarious — especially the part about the Nashville airport!
Amazing news and more amazing are your comments. Thank you for the smiles and odd giggle.
You’re welcome and thank you for your kind words!