(Originally seen on The Phil Factor on 08/03/2013) Yes, I’ve just returned from vacation and I stayed at the Papa Hotel India Lima. An absolutely wonderful place. Scenic view from the balcony. Delicious food. Beautiful weather. I will unequivocally say that Papa Hotel India Lima is the best. If you ever get a chance I recommend you visit.
Is that a picture from the Papa Hotel India Lima? Absolutely not. Can you guess why? There are already two kinds of people who know the answer. Anyone who has been in telemarketing or the military knows that Papa Hotel India Lima spells Phil in the Military Phonetic Alphabet. Seriously, raise your hand, who thought it was really a hotel in India or Peru at first?
I was going to title this post Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo, but opted not to so as not to offend anyone. Then I thought, as I assume you often do, what could be better than Phil? As always, the answer was nothing. Besides, if I do win tonight’s giant Powerball lottery I am going to open my own hotel named, you guessed it, the Papa Hotel India Lima.
What got me on this inane ramble was talking with an insurance agency person. Yeah, I know, that’s fun right? At first I was annoyed by the autistic savant on the other end of the line repeating back all my information using the military phonetic alphabet, but as the call went on I became impressed with her speed and fluidity. She actually had the phonetic alphabet memorized!
Then I wondered what would happen if two people who spent the day using the phonetic alphabet were living together…
Wife: (in front of mirror trying on clothes) “Honey, does this make me look Foxtrot Alpha Tango?
Husband: Why of course not dear. Your Alpha Sierra Sierra looks great!
Imagine if these two people had a child together…
Boy: Hey Mike Oscar Mike! Can I have my friend Juliett Oscar Echo Yankee sleep over?
Mom: Absolutely November Oscar! Not after the bad grade you got on your Phonetic Alphabet final exam.
Boy: Awww…Foxtrot Uniform…Delta Golf Echo!
Imagine the dirty talk in the bedroom between the parents….I’m not going to spell it out here for you because this is a family blog, but I just wanted to plant that idea in your head. You can have fun with it on your own. In fact, if your spouse doesn’t read #ThePhilFactor, try it out on them tonight and report back in the comments section here. I’m sure it will go over well.
Doing my research I noticed that the military phonetic alphabet has been changed twice since it’s creation in 1913 but hasn’t changed since 1957. Initially the phonetic alphabet was created as a military code so that if the enemy was intercepting our phone calls they wouldn’t know what we were saying. I think it’s time for an update and I think the military ought to hire a bunch of teenagers to implement texting abbreviations as the new military language. The enemy would never figure that out.
If you were curious, the hotel pictured above is the Westin Hotel in Barcelona, Spain. As always, if you’ve enjoyed visiting the Papa Hotel India Lima Factor today please hit the Facebook. Twitter or other share button. Maybe share this to Facebook for your military friends to enjoy. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil