When you talk about adult coloring books you have to be careful not to emphasize the word adult too much or your friends will think you’re coloring a whole different kind of picture. Although I’m sure there are adult coloring books of that kind too.
Yes, that is real. The whole adult coloring book craze started about a year ago and I sincerely apologize for not having made fun of it sooner. There were just better things to make fun of. This week however, unless you want me to get political, the whole world has gone crazy, so I decided to regress to a happier time and make fun of coloring books.
That’s the key to this adult coloring book craze. Regression. Adults that are completely stressed out by today’s world are picking up coloring books to escape to a time, with a ritual, that was soothing when they were younger. Much younger. Are you kidding me? How soon is it going to be before people start sucking on pacifiers and wearing diapers just to calm themselves? Yes, I know that there are people doing that already, but they’re considered sporadic weirdos and there’s an actual psychiatric diagnosis for it.
That one’s funny, but I don’t care how stressed I am, I’m not sitting down to color. You know how I regress when I’m stressed? I regress to when I was in college and I drink a beer or two or three. Of course after a few drinks I’m sure you could probably talk me into slipping into a onesie for a bit. And I might need a diaper by then anyway. It would certainly be easier than waiting in line at the bathroom in a bar, but of course, I’m a guy, so we never have to do that. Sorry ladies. You lost the biology lottery.
Earlier I joked about adult adult coloring books, and yes there are those out there too. Ugh. Be glad that I chose not to put some of those pictures here. Coloring those kind of pictures seems like a very weird regressive state. Who is hanging those pictures on their refrigerator? And what is the punishment if you color outside the lines?
Don’t worry, that’s as far as I’ll take those jokes. If you want more information on those kind of coloring books you can go sully your own search history. Doing my research for this I also found that there are adult coloring books with therapy themes with empty word bubbles and you fill in the caption with what you think one character is saying to another.
Wow. Weirdly creepy, right? Hey, lazy therapists, how about if therapy included you telling adults to just talk to each other? In the picture above I imagine that guy is suffering abdominal cramps from food poisoning and his wife, rather than rushing him to the hospital, is offended that he doesn’t like her cooking.
Look, I can’t argue. The world is super stressful. But is hiding in a coloring book the answer? I don’t know. But as a public service I put that Donald Trump coloring page there for you to print out. If Donald Trump doesn’t relax you, then I’m not sure there’s help for you anywhere. Or, how about if we all just grow up and write blogs when we want to regress? Have a great Saturday! ~Phil