“Adult” Coloring Books

When you talk about adult coloring books you have to be careful not to emphasize the word adult too much or your friends will think you’re coloring a whole different kind of picture. Although I’m sure there are adult coloring books of that kind too.

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Yes, that is real. The whole adult coloring book craze started about a year ago and I sincerely apologize for not having made fun of it sooner. There were just better things to make fun of. This week however, unless you want me to get political, the whole world has gone crazy, so I decided to regress to a happier time and make fun of coloring books.

That’s the key to this adult coloring book craze. Regression. Adults that are completely stressed out by today’s world are picking up coloring books to escape to a time, with a ritual, that was soothing when they were younger. Much younger. Are you kidding me? How soon is it going to be before people start sucking on pacifiers and wearing diapers just to calm themselves? Yes, I know that there are people doing that already, but they’re considered sporadic weirdos and there’s an actual psychiatric diagnosis for it.

swearwordscoloring

That one’s funny, but I don’t care how stressed I am, I’m not sitting down to color. You know how I regress when I’m stressed? I regress to when I was in college and I drink a beer or two or three. Of course after a few drinks I’m sure you could probably talk me into slipping into a onesie for a bit. And I might need a diaper by then anyway. It would certainly be easier than waiting in line at the bathroom in a bar, but of course, I’m a guy, so we never have to do that. Sorry ladies. You lost the biology lottery.

Earlier I joked about adult adult coloring books, and yes there are those out there too. Ugh. Be glad that I chose not to put some of those pictures here. Coloring those kind of pictures seems like a very weird regressive state. Who is hanging those pictures on their refrigerator? And what is the punishment if you color outside the lines?

Don’t worry, that’s as far as I’ll take those jokes. If you want more information on those kind of coloring books you can go sully your own search history. Doing my research for this I also found that there are adult coloring books with therapy themes with empty word bubbles and you fill in the caption with what you think one character is saying to another.

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Wow. Weirdly creepy, right? Hey, lazy therapists, how about if therapy included you telling adults to just talk to each other? In the picture above I imagine that guy is suffering abdominal cramps from food poisoning and his wife, rather than rushing him to the hospital, is offended that he doesn’t like her cooking.

DonaldTrumpPage

Look, I can’t argue. The world is super stressful. But is hiding in a coloring book the answer? I don’t know. But as a public service I put that Donald Trump coloring page there for you to print out. If Donald Trump doesn’t relax you, then I’m not sure there’s help for you anywhere. Or, how about if we all just grow up and write blogs when we want to regress?  Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

18 responses to ““Adult” Coloring Books

  1. OMG. OMG. OMG. Phil, that was so funny. I mean, I was laughing, crying and nodding the entire read. Thank you for saying all of that. I thank you and America thanks you too. Seriously, everywhere I go, I see an adult colouring book. Hey, I get it…we all get stressed but come. on. When I am fed up with adulting I either reach for a beer or my knitting…whichever is closest. If someone were to actually give me an adult colouring book as a gift….I would be none too pleased. Really funny post! Have a bril weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coloring books can help stress guess it’s true
    Should we feature one here for Hilary too?
    I think it’s be awesome if I could just chill
    As I colored a scene for Monica and Bill

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “I put that Donald Trump coloring page there for you”

    I don’t have enough orange pencils.

    “how about if we all just grow up and write blogs”

    Yes, you should try that.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve heard of these but I’ve never seen one or know anyone who’s tried one. But me and my posse are so chill we don’t need no stress relief! 😂😂😂😂😂 Thanks for the laugh, Phil! Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mock me and my colouring books all you want. I’m not giving up my crayons. Nope. Not going to happen.

    … I’ll just be over here in the corner, colouring …

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey, don’t knock it til you try it. My daughter and I color together. It’s a great tool to spend time with your kids. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Lol
    I won’t lie I have an adult colouring book app on my phone.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am old. I work on a giant paint by number acrylic painting. I must use a giant magnifying glass to see the numbers. It is a lighthouse and not Jesus and the Last Supper. I was afraid I would meet Him before I got that giant supper done, so I bought the lighthouse instead. Ever wonder why He is the only One who gets His personal pronouns capitalized? Even the last meal is in caps. I think about things like that when I am painting. It is very calming. Remember the film Dr. Strangelove? I was in it–not the film but the Air Force. I was a Cold Warrior. I did not help blow up the world. I would have, but The order never came down. It would have come down from a man with non-capitalized pronouns. That bothers me now a lot. What bothers me also is when I am done with a color and the next day see I missed painting a bunch of numbers with it. I do not like painting with the same color twice–too boring. I get bored a lot. The point is adult coloring books and paint by number paintings have their fans and theraputic values. So does cat blogging. That is why there are so many cat blogs. That is why I do it. Thanks for following.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I want to gift this book to my wife and I think that she will be very happy. Ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. No comment. I’ve thrown mine away. All seven of them.

    Like

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