Thanks a lot Mary Tyler Moore. And I say that with the utmost sarcasm. You had to go and die. No, I wasn’t a feminist woman in the 70’s who felt empowered by your role in a TV show. I’m just a guy who hates death and hates being reminded about it every time someone famous dies.
Some people choose to celebrate life as a way to acknowledge death. There’s even blogs where people write about their “bucket list.” Here’s my bucket list:
Yup, that’s it. That empty space between these words and the paragraph above is my bucket list. Why, you ask, do I not have a list of things I’m going to do before I die? That’s easy. I’m not going to die. Death is immensely popular. All the celebrities seem to be doing it. When celebs get old and aren’t getting the big movie roles, it’s seems that they’ll do anything to get attention. Me? I’m not a follower. I don’t live and die, pun intended, on the attention of others.I don’t see the wisdom in creating a bucket list. If you make a list of things you want to do before you die, you are #1 acknowledging that you’re going to die, and #2, what happens when you finish the list? If that isn’t the best way to notify the Grim Reaper that you’re ready to go, then I don’t know what is. And if you find yourself about to kick the bucket and you haven’t finished your bucket list, won’t you feel sad and unfulfilled?
I’ve decided to create an anti-bucket list. What’s an anti-bucket list you ask? It’s a list of things I’m going to do that will likely take me all of eternity. I figure that if I keep myself busy enough, I’ll forget to die. Here is my anti-bucket list:
Make fun of death: My modus operandi in life since I was a kid has been to make fun of things that scare me. Death, you are a big doo doo head. (you can’t see it, but I’m giving Death the finger)
Stick my toes in every ocean and every sea: There are five oceans and seven seas. If you follow my instagram (@ThePhilFactor) in the summer, you know I’m a big fan of sunsets. I want to see the sun set over every ocean and every sea, preferably while I’m standing in each one holding a cold drink.
Read Every Book That I Want To Read: Since it takes me only ten minutes to read myself to sleep every night, this one ought to take me all of eternity.
Live at least three months in all the interesting countries: That’s pretty much all of them. If you’re from another country and you want to live in the States for a few months, let me know and maybe we can house swap.
Meet everyone who reads #ThePhilFactor and say thank you for making my day. This one doesn’t seem as far fetched as you think either. This summer there’s going to a Bloggers Bash in Chicago on Saturday August 26th. Come on out and we’ll hob knob. I don’t know exactly what hob knobbing is, but I’m going to hob knob the hell out of that place!
So that’s my plan. When the Grim Reaper knocks on my door I’ll just reply, “Sorry. Can’t go, I’ve got stuff to do.” In the comments, tell me one thing you’re going to put on your anti-bucket list. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil