My Anti-Bucket List

download (7)

Thanks a lot Mary Tyler Moore. And I say that with the utmost sarcasm. You had to go and die. No, I wasn’t a feminist woman in the 70’s who felt empowered by your role in a TV show. I’m just a guy who hates death and hates being reminded about it every time someone famous dies.

Some people choose to celebrate life as a way to acknowledge death. There’s even blogs where people write about their “bucket list.” Here’s my bucket list:



Yup, that’s it. That empty space between these words and the paragraph above is my bucket list. Why, you ask,  do I not have a list of things I’m going to do before I die? That’s easy. I’m not going to die. Death is immensely popular. All the celebrities seem to be doing it. When celebs get old and aren’t getting the big movie roles, it’s seems that they’ll do anything to get attention. Me? I’m not a follower. I don’t live and die, pun intended, on the attention of others.

'It appears he was popped.'

‘It appears he was popped.’

I don’t see the wisdom in creating a bucket list. If you make a list of things you want to do before you die, you are #1 acknowledging that you’re going to die, and #2, what happens when you finish the list? If that isn’t the best way to notify the Grim Reaper that you’re ready to go, then I don’t know what is. And if you find yourself about to kick the bucket and you haven’t finished your bucket list, won’t you feel sad and unfulfilled?

I’ve decided to create an anti-bucket list. What’s an anti-bucket list you ask? It’s a list of things I’m going to do that will likely take me all of eternity. I figure that if I keep myself busy enough, I’ll forget to die. Here is my anti-bucket list:

Make fun of death: My modus operandi in life since I was a kid has been to make fun of things that scare me. Death, you are a big doo doo head. (you can’t see it, but I’m giving Death the finger)

Stick my toes in every ocean and every sea: There are five oceans and seven seas. If you follow my instagram (@ThePhilFactor) in the summer, you know I’m a big fan of sunsets. I want to see the sun set over every ocean and every sea, preferably while I’m standing in each one holding a cold drink.

Read Every Book That I Want To Read: Since it takes me only ten minutes to read myself to sleep every night, this one ought to take me all of eternity.

Live at least three months in all the interesting countries: That’s pretty much all of them. If you’re from another country and you want to live in the States for a few months, let me know and maybe we can house swap.

Meet everyone who reads #ThePhilFactor and say thank you for making my day. This one doesn’t seem as far fetched as you think either. This summer there’s going to a Bloggers Bash in Chicago on Saturday August 26th. Come on out and we’ll hob knob. I don’t know exactly what hob knobbing is, but I’m going to hob knob the hell out of that place!

So that’s my plan. When the Grim Reaper knocks on my door I’ll just reply, “Sorry. Can’t go, I’ve got stuff to do.” In the comments, tell me one thing you’re going to put on your anti-bucket list. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

47 responses to “My Anti-Bucket List

  1. I don’t have a bucket list either. Too much like work. For a conscientious person like me, making a bucket list would mean that I’d have to follow through on it, and then suddenly I’d be at work– doing things for reasons I no longer remember. So my anti-bucket list item is to never make a bucket list. Could I be more meta?

  2. I can definitely get with this list πŸ™‚
    Loved it πŸ™‚

  3. My anti bucket list would say:” I want my cancer to get cancer and die”

  4. Since I’m missing the Chicago blogger bash I’m going to meet Phil Taylor in person someday and thank him for producing consistently interesting and entertaining posts. I am with you on hating death. I like the idea of an anti-bucket list.

  5. My anti-bucket list wish will take some persistence
    To eat all chocolate in existence.

  6. good plan; i’m with you. As for hobnobbing id love to cross the pond and say hi but in case I don’t isn’t hobnobbing something to do with a biscuit? Dunking or something I suppose?

  7. NO bucket list here, either. Too much pressure. Your plan is excellent and completely logical.

  8. Not to change the subject but wasn’t the date changed for the bash?

  9. Great post Phil! BTW…although not related to this post subject matter, I thought you might like this-Bastille in the Live Lounge (covering Miley Cyrus-their version is better!) Cheers πŸ˜‰

  10. I had a bucket list and an anti bucket list and stopped paying attention to both! Love the fact that there’s a Bloggers Bash in Chicago too! Can’t wait to see the pics!

  11. We can all die now that the Cubs won a World series.

  12. Finish all of my crochet works-in-progress. Hahahahahaha!

  13. I don’t have a bucket list either, because it might lead to disappointment. I’m just glad to be here another day, Lord knows there have been multiple attempts to off me over the years, but I am still here. Mary Tyler Moore’s passing really affected me a great deal, I guess because I grew up watching Dick Van Dyke, and the Mary Tyler Moore show. Great post!!!!

  14. Aw, Phil, I loved this. I’m a big ol’ sap who has a bucket list, but good on you for giving Death the middle finger πŸ˜‰

    And I quite like your anti-bucket list. I hope to hob knob with my fellow bloggers some day too!

  15. We have the same goals! See you in Chicago.

  16. It’s always good to start off my Monday morning with your newest post and this morning your blog was a gem sparkling in a sea of depressing news. Good to laugh and, whatever you call it, the things you hope to see and do sound pretty ambitious to me. As for sunsets, there’s a pretty fine sunset in Cabo de SΓ£o Vicente (the Cape of Saint Vincent) about an hour from where I live in Portugal that’s spectacular! Anita

  17. I smile reading this. Was it you who I told about the Piers Anthony series “Incarnations of Immortality”? If not, read them. You will love the one on “Death”. πŸ™‚ Right up your alley!

  18. Brilliant list!

Leave a Reply