Could There Be Snakes in YOUR Can?

snake

The answer to the title question is YES! The concept of the 2006 movie Snakes on a Plane is scary for just about anyone. There’s one thing scarier: snakes in your can, otherwise known as the loo, the John, the crapper, the khazi, the dunny, latrine, or toilet.

(As an aside, I also saw that in some places the word Vin was used for a toilet, which seems apropos when describing a Vin Diesel movie. Sorry Vin, but seriously, you gotta know you’re not doing Shakespeare out there, right?)

Yes, that picture above took place in Texas a month ago. Young Isaac McFadden went to use the bathroom, found that, and screamed for Mom because Dad wasn’t home. Mom called Dad, described the snake and he informed her that it was indeed a dangerous, venomous snake. So she got some garden implements and killed it. For those of you from outside the United States, that’s a pretty typical day in Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, and Florida. After killing the snake, they called their local snake removal company (yes, there was one. Where I live there are none) and the snake removal company found 24 other rattlesnakes lurking in the basement and under the house.

cobra

See that picture? Somebody in South Africa found an 8 foot (2.5 meters) cobra in their toilet. Trust me, after looking into these stories online, when nature calls in the middle of the night, I will never ever walk into the bathroom without turning the light on first. Check out these two headlines I found when researching:

image

It goes on and on. One crazy snake in the toilet story after another. A lot of people worry about war and terrorists and end of the world scenarios. I’m suddenly very worried about the snakes.

At the snake meeting:

Snake Leader: I hereby by call this Snake meeting to order!

Audiences of snakes: Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! …

Snake Leader: Thank you everyone. I am Ted, President of the Snakes, And yes, we are filing a copywrite infringement suit against the current U.S. President for his implied use of that title.

Audience: Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!

Snake Leader Ted: Thank you, thank you. Please hold your applause until the end of the meeting, and could the rattler contingent from Texas please keep your butts still while I’m speaking?   Just a few housekeeping items first. The restrooms are down the tunnel on the left, and following the meeting there will be mouse hors d’ouvres and water reception in the foyer. I suppose you’re all wondering why I called you here today. Well, the truth is, we have a problem. It seems the humans are no longer terrified of us. Thanks to Disney movies, we’re seen as comical and harmless. The slithering through their gardens and hissing barely registers anymore. Does anyone have any ideas?

Young Snake speaks up: Well, the other day I was swimming in a sewer and before I knew it, I was inside one of the humans toilets! Oh boy, she screamed and screamed. And after she peed on me, you should have seen her run!

Snake Leader Ted: Then it’s settled. As soon as we eat all the mouse hors d’ouvres, we’d better do that quickly, the toothpicks will only hold those squirmy little buggers on the crackers so long, then I want everyone to head for the toilets! First the toilets, then the world! Huzzah!

snake_bite

I’m telling you, in doing research on this topic, I found stories from nearly every country of snakes showing up in toilets. If that isn’t evidence that we’re infringing on nature’s territory, I don’t know what is. I know all our governments are busy fighting terrorists, but I wouldn’t mind if they spent some of those resources on this snakes in the toilet problem. In fact, when I run for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, that’s going to be my entire campaign.

When you get done with your morning coffee or tea and you have to go to the loo, please think of this. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

30 responses to “Could There Be Snakes in YOUR Can?

  1. Now, this here is what I call Grade A Nightmare Fuel.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my Goodness! I’ll always sit down with caution from now on! Eeeeek!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I much prefer Kaa and his ssslither 🐍

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Snakes in toilets will not do
    I definitely would vote for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. No more lights out visits for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. When ya just wanna gooooo, and you don’t wanna turn on the light… errr… maybe not. Dang Phil, I didn’t need another thing to panic about!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. That’s freaky, Phil. I will dream of this now :/

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my! That’s terrified the hell out of me! 😳

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh holy crap! My anxiety and i should not have read this post lol

    Liked by 1 person

  10. “Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?”

    H/T to Doctor Jones. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Things you didn’t realise you had to worry about…wow! My oh my!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh my god, that’s a worry. We’re lucky in Scotland that we don’t have nothing like that, thankfully! I read somewhere recently that in Australia they have to check for spiders too. I’m glad I can poo in peace πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Always look before you sit.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: Hey Scientists! Shut The H#LL Up! | The Phil Factor

  15. I will never pee again…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Happens a lot of the time here…Motto always check..twice ..Oh and jumping spiders, scorpions..we check our shoes as well …:)

    Liked by 1 person

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