Mr. Factor Goes To Washington

Yes, I spent much of this past week in our nations capitol. And I had some thoughts. Some I will document here and others that will never see the light of day.

Two little known facts: that building over my right shoulder is The White House. Most people think The Capitol Building, the one with the big gold dome, is The White House. The White House is where the President lives and works. Talk about a crappy job deal. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will only accept the job if I don’t have to live where I work. How bad would that be? You could never get away from work. It would be like being a prisoner at your job. I’m totally going to get a swanky condo in Georgetown and walk to work.

The Capitol Building is where Congress works, but they don’t have to live there thank God. Can you imagine the hideous orgies that would go on if they did? They could all grope each other and then resign.

A naked man, a woman with a torch and a Boy Scout walk into a bar… I walked by and looked at this and thought, what a weird grouping of people. Then when I found out that the statue is actually the Boy Scout Memorial then it all made sense. Obviously the naked man behind the Boy Scout is the scout leader. Since the statue is a memorial, it implies that someone died. Apparently these two people are about to kill the young scout, perhaps to cover up someones indiscretion…

National World War II Memorial. Washington, D.C., USA.

The World War II Memorial honors the 16 million who served in the armed forces of the U.S., the more than 400,000 who died, and all who supported the war. Each of those rectangular pillars  has the name of a state. My problem is that the states aren’t listed in alphabetical order. They’re just random. When school field trips come here, how is that helping kids learn? And why is the Philippines, a country named after me included? Nothing against the Philippines. Thanks for having our back over there in the Pacific, but they’re not a state. I was also thinking about the state names as I read them. How did they come up with Arkansas? Was there a bunch of people living in Kansas but when it got crowded they decided to move and found their own state? “We’ll just move over here and it will be Ar Kansas!

Look at me, I’m a unicorn! Or I’m wearing the world’s largest dunce cap. Washington D.C.’s tallest structure serves no purpose other than to honor our first President. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to outfit this this with a radar and giant laser to shoot down anything that tries to attack Washington. How great would that be, right?

One day I want to sit in that chair. I just have to figure out how to get Abe out of it. A word of advice; they don’t like it when you climb up and sit on Abe’s lap. I know this now. I want that seat because that picture on his right is the view from Abe’s chair. Pretty nice, eh?

If anyone know’s the name of the movie from which I created the title of this post, put it in the comments and if you want I’ll send you a free Kindle copy of any of my books that you might want. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

37 responses to “Mr. Factor Goes To Washington

  1. This is your good deedes post i suppose….

  2. Great post. I enjoyed the wander around Washington and the pic. Mr Chips Goes to Washington?

  3. “Look at me, I’m a unicorn” Best picture ever!

  4. Oh my God that Boy Scout Memorial. Who thought that was a good idea?! Anyway, I want to hear your thoughts that will never see the light of day. I’m all about the dark thoughts 👍🏻

  5. The statue seems legit….

  6. Mr Deeds Goes To Washington. Great photos, now If I can get the groping visual out iof my head everything willl be cool.

  7. Wonderful observations Phil and very much something I do whilst walking about town; well any town looking at the way our taxes seem to flow the most ridiculous statues and such like, as opposed to the gaping pot hole in the road next to them.

    I believe Ancient Alien theorists have some “obvious” reason for the unicorn too, something embedded in freemasonary secrets and the founding fathers, hidden ley lines and a vast global power grid. Obviously this is but a copy of the ancients monoliths that would have been used to disperse such energy. It was on Discovery network so must be true.

    Love the photos too…but refuse to be drawn into the Boy Scout Memorial debate. I have my own views upon bygone years and, no…must not be drawn in!

  8. Well, clearly Jefferson Smith had a more serious time in Washington than you did! Now you really have me wondering about the Boy Scout memorial, truly weird. I hope I have as much fun when I get to visit the nation’s capitol!

  9. Thanks for giving us a little tour of Washington!

  10. Fun post. No, I’m not going to guess cause it has already been exposed. I’m still scratching my head over that Boy Scout Memorial.

  11. The architecture here looks stunning! I laughed about your explanation for the Boy Scout Memorial. Poor Boy Scout!

  12. Oh you gave away the answer before I got to answer it because you know Mrs. Smarty Pants Jimmy Stewart fan (Me) would have got it right!!! Although Mr. Smith goes to Washington is kind of ridiculous. All that fuss just to build Boy’s Town? Come on! Anyway, looks like you had fun!

  13. Fun post. Not to mention the selfies, and yes only in America regarding the scout memorial 🙂

  14. Sorry about the spike coming out of your head, Phil, that must sting, but I can’t believe you’re a unicorn 🦄 , I mean, something that pure in Washington, really? 😉
    Dropped by from #SocialSaturday #BigUpYourBlog but always glad to drop by for a laugh or two or fifty. 😉 Shared.
    Hope this weekend is treating you well, by the by, dunce won’t work either, I’ve seen your writing, “you is smart, you is kind, you is important”, 😉

  15. This was very wry and laugh out loud in sections, Phil. I needed levity, so I appreciate this a lot.
    Hope this starts a wonderful week ahead for you. Washington will never be the same (for me) once all these thoughts were planted in my mind. 😀

  16. Washington seems like an awesome travel destination, Phil. You definitely had an amazing experience. What did you like best there?

    • It is a great place to visit. All of the cool stuff you see on television from Washington DC is easily accessible. There are a lot of great restaurants as well. And except for rush-hour, it’s a pretty easy city to get around

  17. Wow, you are very busy. Thanks for sharing washington DC. What a wonderful time of year, Chicago IL got it’s first snowfall today. 🙂

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