Tide Pods and Condom Snorting: Generation Z is for Zombie

I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but a whole other generation has slipped into existence right under our noses and oddly, this post will end with their noses. Us grown adults are aware of the Millennials, the generation of people born from 1981 to 1997. And they are aware of themselves as well. A lot of old folks, meaning us Gen X’ers, decry the alleged shallow, self-centeredness of the Millennial generation. Notice I said alleged. That’s the stereotype. I’m not one to paint everyone with a broad brush, but there is another group, another generation that just might be trouble. Generation Z. I think the Z is for Zombie.

Generation Z is the generation of “people” born from the early to mid-90’s until the 2000’s. At the risk of sounding like the “hey you kids, get off of my lawn!” guy, I believe Generation Z might be our worst generation ever. Let’s take a look at their brief history, shall we?

This is the generation that ten years ago “invented” the oh so hilarious planking prank, where they would just lie in odd places as if they were a plank. Wow, I can just see the artistic genius in this generation, can’t you? One of these has got to be the next DaVinci don’t you think?

When they bored with planking and fidget spinners they came up with the brilliant idea to eat laundry detergent and put pictures of it on Snapchat to amuse their friends. I can imagine this conversation went on in many homes:

Son: Mom! Where are the dish detergent pods?

Mom: (silently overjoyed her son is helping around the house) They’re beneath the sink honey! (Later that day she wonders why the sink is still full of dishes but her son’s breath smells like Lavender Breeze)

Now Generation Z, yes, all of them, are snorting condoms. I may be a little old school, but I think they’re using them wrong. Didn’t their Health class teacher do that demonstration with the condom and the cucumber? It doesn’t even look fun. Are they aware of the other ways to use these things? Back in my day, all we snorted was drugs. Have these kids even tried drugs? Or sex? Cancel that last thought. I definitely don’t want to see this group of rocket scientists reproducing, which, if they used the condoms right…

I’d say this generation is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, but that would be insulting to enigmas. Generation Z is like morons wrapped in other morons.

So, on to other things…the voting for the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards is still going on and if you enjoyed this little rant I’d really appreciate your vote for me in the Funniest Blogger category. You don’t even have to be a blogger to vote. Just go HERE!

Also, on Monday, many music loving bloggers are participating in  #MusicMonday by publishing their lists of all the concerts they’ve been to so we can visit each other and discuss our favorite bands. Want to participate? Just post your list on Monday morning with #MusicMonday in the title and look for all the other #MusicMonday posts in the Reader and on Twitter, then visit and comment on each others lists! And for cripes sake, would someone please share this to StumbleUpon?

Have a great Saturday, and thanks for your vote! ~Phil

51 responses to “Tide Pods and Condom Snorting: Generation Z is for Zombie

  1. The kids of today!!!!
    Ps.. was I Gen X or a Xennial??? Birth 1975????

  2. Ohh wow I’m born in 1992, but I haven’t even heard of half of those things! Planking though was always fun to see, but I’ve never tried it myself.
    xoxo Annaleid

  3. Bitter and twisted our childhood was devoid of internet, tv limitations and having to actually go outside and, say, climb a tree knowing falling out might hurt and blaming someone else for my own stupidity would be frowned upon. Farmers babe….”Get ‘orf my land.” Always a curio as, being a piscatorial adventurer, I never actually saw orf on his land at all… strange world….imagine having to get up and turn the tv to another of the three channels by actually going across the room….now it’s “Oi, Alexa where’s the bloody remote gone?”

    Strange times indeed. I have voted Phil….it seems I am also on the list of nominations too… “Alexa….”

  4. As a gen Xer myself, I am ashamed to say I have produced 3 of these Zombies (eldest is crossover ’96)….and yes Zombie describes them well!! Now I was wondering about the pack of condoms that was amongst one of the students belongings, but maybe I will have to do the embarrassing mum thing and check that sex ed did include a cucumber and not inhalation!! Very funny Phil….off to show hubby, the other one responsible for adding to this generation of morons!! c x

  5. Any generation is the reflection of the parents who raised them😉

  6. Yes I’ve got 2 of these Generation Z’s, the latest gem with my youngest was to dare eat one of the hottest ghost chillis ever!! After the first of his mates had a go all the others including my youngest chickened out. The first idiot was ok by the way or at least I think so, I didn’t actually get to see that particular Snapchat 😂 I voted Phil good luck!

    • Thank you Sam! One of my Zombies tried the cinnamon challenge a few years ago. He regretted that. I should have added that to the post. I found it very funny

  7. Then there are all those baby-boomers and Gen-X’er who snort meth. If one knew all that goes into the cooking of meth, they would be a lot less harsh on Tide Pod eating and condom snorting.

    Around farm country, we have to lock our anhydrous ammonia tanks to keep the meth cookers from stealing the stuff.

    Catch a whiff of that sometime. 🙂 🙂

  8. So flippen’ hilarious. Morons wrapped in morons…insulting to enigmas…this is why you are pretty funny.

  9. I’m a manager at a large area grocery store. I would never have thought inhaling whipped cream canisters could become so disturbingly popular.

  10. Another breakthrough post, Phil. As if we don’t have enough fun watching POTUS in action.

  11. I don’t think either of my kids have done these ridiculous things, but then there was that whole water bottle flipping thing they did about a year ago – so annoying!!!

  12. Oh. My. I don’t want to use the phrase “these kids today”, but they are really making it hard…

  13. If that’s what the gen z will be
    Can’t wait for P Q R S T

  14. I feel like I need a guidebook of some kind here… unknown territory…when I was a student we couldn’t afford laundry detergent never mind ingesting it🤣

  15. So as 1984 I’m classed as a millennial – must be a boring one because I’ve not done any of those things. Seen plenty of stupid stuff in my time but never a participant. As a teacher, you get to see/hear of other fads going around.
    I’ll stick to being boring!

  16. Too funny Phil…. I don’t even want to imagine what the future generations will get up to!!! Congrats on the award nomination too 😉

  17. Congrats on the nomination, Phil!
    This next generation is supposed to loathe cell phones too… What is the world coming to?

  18. I’d rather deal with zombies than Generation Z.

  19. Snorting condoms? Is that before or after use? OHH YUKK!!

  20. My Gen Z’er is currently away at Basic Training, but I did hear from a friend that most American training bases have had to remove Tide pods from the PX. Pretty sure they never sold condoms, but I could ask Offspring next time he calls. (I hesitate to ask in a letter… that’s the sort of question someone might twist into something weird)

  21. Pingback: Come to Phil's NyQuil Chicken Restaurant! - The Phil Factor

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