10. He gets his own bobblehead: My head bobbles, but nobody is making toys out of it.
9. Chicks dig a guy with power: Dude can get anyone he wants in Vatican City. From what I hear, he’s got a serious habit habit, if you know what I mean (insert wink emoji here).
8. I tried for years to Get McDonald’s to serve breakfast all day: One wave of his triton and it’s Egg McMuffin’s for dinner.
7. He gets featured on #ThePhilFactor again: Come back for my Throwback Thursday later this week to read a Phil Factor from the ancient days of the internet, 2005, featuring the newly elected Pope then.
6. The Popemobile! In the pantheon of super vehicles the Popemobile ranks right up there with the Batmobile and Scooby Doo’s Mystery Machine.
5. He’s the real transgender pioneer: Enough with transgenders acting like they are so nouveau. Male Popes have been wearing dresses for centuries. Speaking of that, when do we get a female Pope? If there were an attractive female pope, I might suddenly return to Catholicism. When I’m elected Pope or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’ll change that rule.
4. He gets to use my middle name: When the Pope sends you a DM on Twitter asking if he can go by your middle name, you say yes.
3. When he get’s the Kohl’s scratch off coupon he always seems to get 30%, and his receipt says he saved $482.00 just for buying a pair of socks.
2. Always gets first pick in his fantasy football draft.
1. He’s so cool that he’s got a Ray-Ban endorsement!
Have a great Sunday, thanks for reading and bless you! ~Phil
