Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Songs I’ve Ever Heard

Yes, The Beatles made my list. Read on to find out which song.These are the songs that make my brain want to seize and I hit the change station button on the first note. I apologize that many of these are over twenty years old. That’s the last time I listened to pop music because most of it is terrible.

10. Rick Astley- Never Gonna Give You Up: A song so bad that it became a joke to send your friends a link, tell them it’s something else and have them open it up to discover this piece of crap.

9. We are the World: A bunch of formerly good artists: Yes, I know it was done to raise money to feed the hungry or something, but I don’t care how hungry I am, this song will make me vomit.

The_Beatles

8. The Beatles:Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: I don’t care that it’s The Beatles. This song is stupid. Nonsense lyrics are always bad. Just ask The Police.

7. Diesel: Sausalito Summer Nights: This might be the worst ever. If you don’t remember it, click on the video below and listen to about 30 seconds. This song should be used as torture for prisoners of war. I doubt that the United Nations would allow that.

6. Just a Friend: Biz Markie: This is the Sausalito Summer Nights for a new generation. A shout out to my friend Jim Bernheimer who gave me the idea for this when a character in his book played this on a loop to torture someone they were holding captive.

5. Come on Eileen: Dexy’s Midnight Runners: I’m pretty sure the band was saying “Come on Eileen, don’t leave. Our music isn’t that bad.” Yes guys,  it is.

4. Smoke on the Water: Deep Purple: Ugh. This three chord monstrosity has stood the test of time. I think it’s the first song every 10 year old learns at their first guitar lesson. You can’t go into a guitar store without hearing somebody playing it.

3. Stars are Blind: Paris Hilton: Do I really need to make any commentary for this?

2.  What Does The Fox Say: Ylvis: It may have been hilariously funny but it is a terrible piece of music. What the hell though. Those Norwegians need something to smile about.

1. Stone Temple Pilots: Plush: Where ya’ going with that mask I found? And I feel, and I feel. When the dogs begin to smell her, will she smell alone? WORST SONG LYRIC IN THE HISTORY OF PLANET EARTH.

If you have ideas or suggestions of songs that you find equally reprehensible please add them in the comments. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

 

29 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Songs I’ve Ever Heard

  1. I love personal love/hate lists like this, even when I don’t agree with them… and I like almost every song on this list. Perhaps an insight into our differences can be found in your quoted lyrics to “Plush”… my first thought was, “Wait, that song has lyrics?” I don’t know half the words to my favorite songs… it’s true.

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    • I agree with you. These lists are fun and I always specify that they are my choices. What are a couple of your most hated songs? Chances are that I probably like them.

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      • Ignoring the past couple decades, some of my unfavorites would be “Come Sail Away” (I love almost everything Styx ever did except this goddamn song), “Do It Again” (Ditto for Steely Dan), “Your Love” by the Outfield (One of the most overplayed songs of the 80′s), and “Blister in the Sun” by the Violent Femmes… those are just a few off the top of my head.

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      • LOL! I love Your Love and virtually anything by the Violent Femmes.

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  2. NotAPunkRocker

    “Just ask The Police” –You, sir, owe me a diet pepsi since I just spit most of mine onto my monitor.

    Considering my child, the one I have raised from birth, was listening to freaking Air Supply the other day, I would say this list isn’t THAT bad.

    Have you read Dave Barry’s Book of Awful Songs? Great read, very funny, earworms from hell.

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    • Ugh. Air Supply. If I expanded this list to the 11 worst songs Air Supply would be on the list. I did hate to say that about The Police because I once got frostbite waiting in line to buy concert tickets, but a bad song is bad no matter who did it. I haven’t read the Dave Barry book yet but I will. Were you following me last fall when I interviewed him for The Phil Factor?

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      • NotAPunkRocker

        I say get rid of the Paris Hilton song; celeb songs are pretty much a given. Don Johnson? Eddie Murphy? Tale as old as time.

        I think I was, but I might need to revisit!

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      • As far a celebrity singers go I do like Jared Let’s band. I’ve actually never seen the guy act.

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  3. “We Built This City” by Starlight, Starship, Starsomething, I think. I couldn’t change the station fast enough back in the day.

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  4. Some on the money, some not, for me. Just as a little fun fact, my husband recently went to a death metal show where the intermission music included 99 Red Balloons and Come On Eileen. Yes, that’s the soundtrack for a group of death metal Satan worshippers.

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  5. I can’t stand the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, but I love Rick Astley. Ha.

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  6. Oh geez, the stupid fox song. Thank God that craze is over! Pretty gutsy of you to put a Beatles song on here but it’s not like you picked a classic, that Ob-La-Di song isn’t exactly their masterpiece. I’ve always liked that Rick Astley song though. Maybe because I wasn’t around in the 80s to be annoyed by it.

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  7. And, then, there is “The Hokey Pokey,”

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  8. That’s got me thinking. May come back to you on this. Tend to agree with your choices.

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  9. Too funny, and I must say that I agree with your choices. I gotta say that “Achy Breaky Heart” and “Afternoon Delight” are pretty high on my list.

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  10. Anything with Rick in it makes me run around in circles screaming until I run into a wall and blissfully pass out.

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  11. Don’t like Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da? How about the Offspring’s Why Don’t You Get a Job? The first line of that song resonates with most guys.

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