Tag Archives: Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Cats

10. Dogs always warn you when there’s a house fire.

9. According to Cruella Deville, they make excellent coats.

8. Dogs are too stupid to lie.

8. The Grinch had a dog. (Who knows his name?)

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7. Dogs often solve mysteries (see Doo, Scooby)

6. Dogs are capable of making noises you can hear more than three feet away.

5. When Timmy falls down a well dogs will always tell you.  Remember Baby Jessica? Yup, dog told them where she was.  (I hope she reads this. Hi Jessica!)

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4. Brian Griffin (R.I.P.) fom Family Guy, funniest cartoon character ever, is a dog.

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3. Dogs always act like whatever you’re saying is really interesting. Cats won’t even feign a little interest.

2. Dogs will always clean up food you drop on the floor. In fact, my dog is officially my housekeeper.

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1. If my dog hadn’t followed me up to my writing room, like she does every night, I would still be trying to figure out my Top Ten list for today.

If you have any more reasons why dogs are better than cats feel free to share in the comments. Cat people, you get your day next week. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Best Movie Sequels Ever

With the recent debut of Guardians of the Galaxy vol. II and the return of the Alien movie franchise in ten days, I thought I’d explore sequels. Personally, I rarely like sequels. If you disagree with my list of the best sequels, please feel free to add your opinion in the comments, but if you want to add one to the list, say which one you’d take off the list.

10. Men in Black III: For the rest of this list I averaged the rankings of several websites and surveys, but this choice was all mine. If you enjoyed the first Men in Black movie, watch part two and then this one, MIB3. The last chapter in the trilogy ties everything together brilliantly with heart and humor.

9. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: Like I said, from here on this list is an average from several sites. I don’t see this one ranking as an all timer. Sure, who doesn’t love Ricardo Montalban and seeing Spock buy the farm? But a top ten sequel? And seriously, how old were the people that ranked this movie this high?

8. The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers: I think the series as a whole should rank right up there on the list of all movie franchises. Honestly, they all blur together in my head and I can’t remember anything specific from any one of them. If the world says this was the best one, I’ll buy it.

7. The Dark Knight: Propelled by Heath Ledger’s brilliantly creepy Joker this film stands out as the best of the series.

6. Silence of The Lambs: Few people realize that this suspense/thriller is actually a sequel to 1986’s Manhunter that featured another detective on the trail of Hannibal Lecter.

5. Terminator 2: Judgement Day: I saw this. It was a good sequel, but I don’t know if it was top 5 all time. What do you think?

4. Aliens: Number two in the Alien series back when Sigourney Weaver was still kicking Alien ass.

3. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back: In the first movie Princess Leia kisses her brother. This movie she kisses Han Solo. She was kind of an intergalactic slut don’t you think? Still everyone loves this because Luke got his hand cut off.

2. Toy Story 2: As good as the first, but for my money, I’d include Toy Story 3 in place of this. It’s hilarious.

1. The Godfather Part II: To be honest, I’ve never watched a Godfather movie from start to finish. I’m just not into blood and murder. I’m more of a comedy kind of guy. I do however know all the classic lines.

So, what movies would you put in your top ten sequels list, and which ones on this list would you take out?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Dumbest Fads of the Last 20 Years

This list is all my ideas. If you can think of some that I’ve forgotten, please feel free to share in the comments. If I get enough, I’ll make another list and credit the contributors.

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10. Virtual Pets: Remember these stupid things? You had to fake feed and fake care for a little digital animal. Those were popular for a summer, but every kid had one. Anybody’s pet still alive?

9. The man bun: Not once has anyone ever said, “Check out the awesome man bun on him. ”

8. Occupy… Wall Street, Washington, London etc. Remember this thing from about 10 years ago? A bunch of people with nothing better to do just walked down to a random city square and camped out there for a couple months. No one is sure what they were protesting or when it ended. Everyone just wandered off and lost interest.

7. The Macarena: Catchy song, stupid dance. I can proudly say that I’ve never once attempted it.

6. Planking: I’m referring not to the exercise for your abs, but the idiotic fad where idiots would lay somewhere like they were a board. Not funny, ever.

5. Flash Mobs: So wait, you want me to spend my free time learning a dance so me and 50 other people can surprise your friend? Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

4. The Mannequin Challenge: I’m not sure what the challenge was, except resisting the urge to punch friends or co-workers who want you to take a hilarious picture of them pretending they’re frozen.

3. E-readers: I love my Amazon Kindle more than anyone. In fact, I haven’t read a physical book in over 9 years, but I have to admit I was wrong. I really believed that actual books made from trees would be a thing of the past by now.

2. Dabbing: I’m sure that scene is why Hillary lost the election. I’m not sure why pretending to sneeze into your elbow became a fad.

1. YOLO: Yeah, thanks Drake. Funny story about Yolo. Until the other day I had never said Yolo, then I was forced to. I was on the phone with a customer service rep. You know how when they read you a series of numbers and letters they’ll say something like, “So that number is 3, 2, Z as in Zebra, C as in Cat, then 8-1-9. Is that correct?” On my call I had to read him the serial number. And there was a letter Y in the sequence and not knowing their idiotic code, the only thing I could think of for Y was Yolo, so I said it, and he laughed.

Can you think of any other fads from the last 20 years that deserve inclusion on this list? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

 

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Most Popular Phil Factors Ever!

Get ready to laugh. To celebrate my blogs 12th birthday I’m listing the top ten posts, by number of views, from the last 12 years. If you’re new to #ThePhilFactor you’ve got some catching up to do. The titles are all live links, so feel free to click away!

10. Zombie Love BoatThis is an underrated favorite of mine.

9. Me and Billie Joe ArmstrongConsidering that this one is from two weeks ago, it’s amazing that it’s got enough view to crack the top ten.

8. 2016 Predictions From A Legit Psychic

7. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: The Interview with Magician James David

6. The Rolling Stones Are Liars: My Class ReunionThis one is more nostalgia than humor.

5. The Ten Most Painful Things That Have Ever Happened To MeApparently people like to learn about pain. Lots of random Google searches regularly bring readers for this one.

4. Three Things… I’m still puzzled about why this gets a steady stream of views.

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3. Real Sexting Conversations to Read In HindiHindi speaking people really like to use their cell phones.

2. Meet The Author: Christopher Moore (yes, that Christopher Moore) The man has a very loyal following. You should read his books.

1. Twitter People vs. Facebook PeopleThis one surprised me. I knew it was funny when I wrote it, so I shared it to Reddit and it went a little viral, getting 17,000 views in one day and standing atop the Reddit humor category for over 24 hours. That was fun. I haven’t had anything close to that since. 

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons To Give Up Sleep

If we only have so much time on Earth, why spend a third of it unconscious? Sleep is such a waste of time and not productive at all. Some of the most famous people in history have not been sleepers. I saw an article that called the people who don’t sleep much, “the sleepless elite.” Damn, that’s sounds like a cool club to be in! They don’t give up sleep entirely. They get a little, but not the out cold for 7-8 hours that “doctors” recommend. Here’s why I’m joining the legions of intelligent, uber-productive people who don’t sleep much. C’mon, are you with  me?

10. I’m just not very good at it. If we’re terrible at anything else in life, we don’t stick with it. We move on to something we can succeed at and feel good about.

9. An awesome tan: If I was awake almost all the time I could travel and always keep ahead of the sunset and spend literally 24 hours a day in the sun. That’s of course only possible if one of you gifts me a private jet. You know where to find my e-mail, get at me!

8. My cat is pretty sure he needs to eat at 4:30 a.m. Who am I to resist nature?

7. Sir Isaac Newton, who invented gravity only slept about two hours a night. If I only slept two hours a night I’d have time to invent those flying cars we were all promised would be standard by now. Thanks for letting us down Marty McFly.

6. Get way more than 10,000 steps a day on my FitBit and be in incredible shape.

5. Sylvia Plath, Emily Bronte, and Michael Chabon: All these famous writers barely slept. You know what they did with all those waking hours? They wrote books that made them rich and famous. Imagine what I could do with all the extra time?

4. Ride a unicycle: Ive always wanted to learn. With more time, I’d have that checked off my list in no time.

3. I’m going to open a Sleepless Club: It will start in the evening as a night club and morph into a diner after 4 a.m. All the sleepless people will have a place to hang out.

2. Martha Stewart and Donald Trump: They’re sleepless people. I imagine we’d spend a lot of time hanging out. Give up sleep, it’s a good thing.

1. Best blog ever! Right now I only write about 5 blog posts per week. How great would it be to have 10 blog posts from me a week?

Do you have trouble sleeping? What do you do with the extra hours? If you’re not  one of the sleepless yet, what would you do if you were?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

 

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Things Donald Trump Should Build a Wall Around

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As everyone knows, during his campaign Donald Trump promised to build a wall between the United States and Mexico. Listen Donald, if we’re building walls, I can think of plenty of other groups of people we should build walls against. In fact, I can think of ten:

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10. People who still write paper checks at stores. This is a group of people who need to be walled off from the rest of the world, if only for their own protection. Can you say “justifiable homicide”?

9. People who want “you to copy and paste this message to your Facebook status for one hour.” I don’t care if I agree with whatever message it is, I’m not going to do it. In fact, if you say that only your “true friends will copy and paste”, I’ll be happy not to be “true friends” with people who propagate 21st century chain letters and try to bully people with emotional blackmail.

8. The audience comedian at a real stand-up comedy show. Listen, the show will go on just fine if all you do is laugh. Keep your mouth shut otherwise. You are not as funny as the professional on stage. Yes, you’re friends tell you that you’re a “hoot.” You’re not. They’re lying so they don’t hurt your feelings. I didn’t pay to hear you talk.

7. My Problem is more important than yours people. They go to whatever store you’re in and tie up the cashier for 20 minutes with a problem that should have been dealt with elsewhere and is probably because the idiot didn’t understand something simple.

6. Social Media Trolls: If only there was a way to build a virtual internet wall around these losers. Then they could just criticize each other all day.

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5. Every writer, director and producer of “reality” TV shows: Enough already. There’s no reality in these shows and no originality at all anymore. I hereby declare a wall should be built around these dolts so that no more stupid, fake shows like The Apprentice will ever be made.

4. Drivers who…well, pretty much all drivers, including us. How often have you been driving and gone completely mental, screaming obscenities at someone who turned too slowly and then a hundred meters later you’re incensed that someone honked at you for doing the same thing? We’re all idiots in this regard. Too bad there isn’t some kind of breathalyzer device that prevents you from driving when you’re in a bad mood.

3. The ‘Yeah but’ people: These people can’t let anyone say anything positive about anything. Example: You: “That Pope seems like such a nice guy!” Them: “Yeah, but did you hear that his motorcade ran over a rat when he was in New York?” You: “I just won millions in the lottery!” Them: “Yeah, but you’re gonna have to pay a shitload of taxes.”

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2. The Overly Effusive People: They’re the opposite of the last group. EVERYTHING is the greatest thing that they’ve ever seen, heard, done, or tasted.  These people really need to dial back the Prozac by a few milligrams. Listen skippy, I enjoy this song, movie, meal or whatever as much as the next guy, but I don’t feel it’s necessary to re-enact the Meg Ryan orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally eight times a day.

1. People with blogs: 99% of the people with blogs think they’re way more interesting than they really are. The other 1% read my blog. I have never once said the phrase, “You should read my blog!” Write, if it’s any good, people will read it. Also if you read other people’s blogs, they’ll read yours back, maybe. But don’t put “Blogger” on your LinkedIn profile unless someone is paying you to do it, and don’t tell people to read your blog. You’re giving the rest of us a bad name.

See Mr. Trump? It’s not necessary to discriminate based on race, religion, or nationality. When I am elected president, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I am going to discriminate on the basis of idiocy.  If you know any of these people, please feel free to share this on FB or Twitter so they can develop some self-awareness. If I missed any of your favorite people to hate, please add them in the comments. If I get enough, I’ll make your suggestions into next weeks list. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

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You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

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7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

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4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

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1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil