I first posted this one two Decembers ago in response to the newest holiday tradition that’s all the rage with young parents these days.That’s a terrifying elf there in that picture huh? It’s that time of year again. Time to give your children nightmares.
(12/22/2012) Most of you are familiar with the Elf on the Shelf right? In the Elf on the Shelf tradition these poorly dressed little plastic elves are mischievous minions of the red suited overlord who spy on the every move of children and report back to their tyrannical leader. That allegedly quaint little elf doll was invented about 10 years ago as a new, and for some toy making company, moneymaking tradition. Fortunately for my kids I wasn’t aware of The Elf on the Shelf when they were young enough to believe in it.
Parents put these little Elves on a shelf and the children are told that the Elf cannot be touched or it will lose it’s Chistmas magic. The elf allegedly flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa every night. Man kids are gullible! In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, “What a bunch of maroons!” The nightly flight is how parents explain that the Elf is in a different spot when the kids wake up each morning.
Of course this crazy little ruse makes kids behave in the weeks leading up to Christmas! They’re terrified! Are you kidding me? Even now if you told me a Chuckie doll was going to sit on my shelf and stare at me while I slept, or that it might be moving around my house at night? I would never go to sleep again. The kids have got to be too terrified or too tired to misbehave. No wonder they have a weeks vacation from school after Christmas. They probably spend that week sleeping for the first time in a month.
I have a friend who says that after her kids are asleep she will pose the Elf somewhere to make it appear as if the Elf had gotten into mischief overnight, such as putting him next to a tipped over jar of something, or maybe on a desk next to some torn up papers. So her kids wake up imagining that this creepy little doll with the frozen scary clown smile is moving about the house in the dark destroying things. How much longer before someone imagines the doll picking up a knife? What if in some home where they’re torturing their kids with the Elf on the Shelf, just by coincidence, their elderly dog or cat were to pass away during the night? What do you suppose those kids are going to think for the rest of their lives?
This tradition sounds like psychological warfare against children. How long before we see kids who have grown up with this tradition seeking counseling for PTED, Post-Traumatic Elf Disorder?
Happy Holidays to you and your families. If you really want something mysterious and far less traumatic to just appear somewhere this holiday season please share #ThePhilFactor by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest share buttons below. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil
Actually, the original Elf dates decades ago. I have my mother’s from when she was a child. They just added the “on the shelf” part recently. But they are terrifying.
They’re like a holiday Chuckie doll aren’t they?
They’re creepier now that they watch you. When my mom was growing up (and when I was growing up) they were just cute Christmas tree ornaments. But the big bad toy companies had to throw in the watching you shit.
yep. you said it. ‘This tradition sounds like psychological warfare against children’. Truer words were never spoken. Great post.
Admittedly, if I was aware of this when my kids believed in Santa, I would have probably scared them every night.
That creepy elf
It has stealth
And it will not
Adorn my shelf
For clearly it
Would scare myself
Brilliant! I hope you’re going to use it on your page. On my way to look now.
Evidently these elves work for the NSA.
I think the elves are more stealthy than the NSA
I agree. No wonder we have so much reality TV – we’re used to being watched.
This is definitely a tradition we will not adopt. My husband doesn’t like dolls. So maybe I will get the elf, and it can watch him…heh heh heh.
That would be funny to creep you husband out with it!
I am still beyond thrilled my child was older when these hit it big. Not that he would have fallen for it anyway 🙂
I imagine you’d be a parent that would have some kind of creative fun with it
I would get gory with it. We like horror movies…
“Who dismembered the Elf on the Shelf?”
Oh! I know! A “Se7en” theme.
Disturbing, but creative 😀
It’s like something the Brothers Grimm would have written about! Did a child psychiatrist think up this frightening idea?
I agree. It seems both archaic and intentionally cruel.
A great post. In my part of world also I am seeing new traditions being created to push products of some XYZ company. A great post.
Oh God, that is horrific!!! I used to have nightmares about Chucky when I was a kid, I hate to think what an elf would have done to me. Thankfully, Australia doesn’t have that evil tradition. I think.
Maybe you could start that evil tradition over there!
No, I would still have nightmares. One of the drawbacks of having an overactive imagination.