Google Me This Batman!

riddler

If this movie had been made a few years later I’m sure Jim Carrey’s character would have been The Googler. One of the biggest riddles is why does anyone sign into their Google account before searching for something?  I’m sure that’s a tremendous help to the NSA. (I’m also sure the NSA loves when I link my blog to their site) This is my quarterly “fun with search terms” post where I highlight some of the most entertaining search terms that have brought people to my blog. After perusing the long list of terms that people typed into an internet search engine I always come away with one thought: People are idiots.

11. Top ten most painful things in the world: Apparently Google thinks that reading my blog is one of them. This or something close was one of the most popular searches that brought people to my blog lately.

10. Kim Kardashian boobs: Yup, I’ve got them right here. Just don’t tell Kanye.

9. Kim Jong Un Kardashian: Has she married him now? I can’t keep up with her husbands anymore.

8. Animals smoking weed: It’s not yet legal to sell marijuana in my state, to humans, so I opened up a side business to keep me afloat until my books really take off.

download (1)

7. Alaska women looking love: Well of course they would look here. I can’t blame them. Sorry ladies, I’m taken.  Hmmm….I’m getting another business idea though.

6.  Links to punch people through the screen: I wonder, are they looking to punch me specifically or just searching for information on the topic?

5. Top ten things you need in a zombie: I’m pretty sure that I don’t need anything in a zombie. Is there a really stringent list of qualifications for that job?

4. Should I work out my glutes? Yes. Yes you should.

3. Meerkats have swag: Yeah they do!

meerkat-mafia

2. horniestintheland.com: If you just put the web address into your browser just a list of related links comes up because no one apparently owns that domain name. If however you put “horniestintheland.com” into a Google search you get a list of posts from my blog. Click that Google link above. I did it for you.

1. Sexiest bloggers alive: I’m not sure which is more embarrassing; that somebody searched this term, or that I was the answer to it. Click on this to see what happens when you put that into Google. See who’s #1? How awesome is that?

I hope you noticed that in the spirit of giving and the holidays I did include not ten, but 11 funny search terms. You’re welcome. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. If you came here from the NSA, thanks for all you do keeping us safe and please share this at the office too. Have a great Saturday everybody! ~Phil

11 responses to “Google Me This Batman!

  1. I love how Google likes to finish what I write in the search box, with some rather weird things. But I have to agree, the Googler would be a great villain, so long as Jim plays him.

    http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/127/a/8/the_googler_by_yannickbouchard-d3fpbi2.jpg.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Where do you come up with you blog ideas? Your brain is a wild & crazy thing! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well, it you will persist in blogging about Kim Kardashian’s meerkat’s zombie-boobs, what can you expect? 😉

    It surprises me that horniestintheland.com isn’t taken! Last one there is a meerkat zombie.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Congratulations on your new sexy spot
    I guess Google knows it if People does not
    And now I must take off with great speed
    It seems there’s a dog ran away with my weed

    Liked by 2 people

  5. My blog is always getting hits for “I am blue” or “I am depressed”. Recently, I am getting searches for sexual activities involving more than two people. NO idea where that is coming from, but I just imagine a swinging couple’s disappointment when they search my blog and find Legos and antidepressants!

    Liked by 2 people

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