Tag Archives: Kim Jong Un

The Interview about “The Interview” with Kim Jong-un

I’ve had some great interview subjects here on The Phil Factor, but today’s guest is certainly my most noteworthy. By now you’ve heard the brouhaha about the Sony Pictures movie The Interview. If you’ve been under a rock, The Interview is a movie about two bumbling tabloid bloggers reporters who land an interview with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Prior to the interview they’re recruited by the C.I.A. to assassinate the dictator. Hi-jinks ensue. (go ahead, click the link. It’s really the C.I.A.’s website, where there is no mention of wanting to assassinate anyone)

imdb.com

imdb.com

Although the movie was intended as a comedy, understandably, some folks in North Korea were kind of upset about it. Surprisingly, Kim Jong Un was not one of them. When I ran into him at the froyo shop the other day, I asked and he agreed to this fictional Phil Factor interview to rehab his public image. As you can see below, he even smiled for a picture. (possibly his first smile ever) “I like smiling. Smiling’s my favorite,” he said.

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TPF: Kim, Thanks for visiting The Phil Factor. So are the reports true? Is North Korea responsible for hacking into Sony’s computer system and for the threats of violence towards Sony and theaters that were to show the movie?

Kim: Dude! Are you kidding me? That shit is wack! I got better things to do. I’m running a frickin’ country. If you ask me, Sony is behind it. This is straight up, stone cold one of the best publicity stunts ever. You know they’re gonna release it again in a month or have some sort of alleged super-secret release scenario that everyone will fall for. You Americans are so dumb.

TPF: Wow Kim, I never thought of that. You’re smarter than the press gives you credit for. Your reputation however is that you’re perpetually angry and that you … ahem… eliminate anyone who crosses you. You can understand why everyone in the U.S. thinks North Korea is behind the Sony situation right?

Kim: Like I said, Sony is manipulating the press and the masses are idiots. I thought it was hilarious.

TPF: Wait! You’ve seen the movie?

Kim: Damn straight. As part of my agreement with Sony to allow them to use my name and likeness in the movie, I asked for a screening for me and my staff ahead of the American release. That Seth Rogen kills me. Well, no, not kills me, like in the movie plot. He’s funny. Me and Seth are homies, Also, he’s my supplier, if you know what I mean. That Franco kid, he kind of skeeves me out.

TPF: Kim, you are full of surprises. You’re a lot different than I thought you’d be. If there’s one surprising thing you’d want people to know about you, what is it?

Kim: Gangnam Style. I invented it.

TPF: What? The video, the dance, the song? You invented Gangnam Style?

Kim: Hells yeah I did! Me and Psy went to primary school together. We used to totally bust that move in the cafeteria every day for awhile. Here, look, here’s an old picture of me. If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.

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Kim: Dude, seriously, me and Psy used to go clubbing all the time before I got into government.

TPF: Wow, Kim, you’re a lot different than I thought.  And, you’re a lot different than the media portrays you.  I hope a lot of people read this and it changes their perception of you.

Kim: Are you kidding me? A shit-ton of people are going to read this. The Phil Factor is huge in North Korea. That’s why I wanted you to interview me. I’m a big fan. I love your Bieber posts. That kid is an asshat.

TPF: Wait? What? I’m popular in North Korea? Why don’t I see that in my page view stats? It always tells me what country the readers come from.

Kim: Encrypted servers, duh? We’re North Korea.  All those page views that come through encrypted servers are us.

TPF: Wow! That’s great to know Kim. Thanks! Before you go, can I get a picture with you?

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Kim: Thanks Phil. It was awesome meeting. Thanks for getting the word out. You me and Seth will have to get together for a little…ahem…medicinal recreation next time I’m in town. Later homes.

Well, that was it. Me and Kim sat in the froyo shop for an hour. I can’t tell you some of the off the record stuff he told me, but give the dude credit, he likes gummy bears on his froyo and maybe he’s not the nutjob we all thought he was. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or re-blog buttons below, especially if you’re in North Korea. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Google Me This Batman!

riddler

If this movie had been made a few years later I’m sure Jim Carrey’s character would have been The Googler. One of the biggest riddles is why does anyone sign into their Google account before searching for something?  I’m sure that’s a tremendous help to the NSA. (I’m also sure the NSA loves when I link my blog to their site) This is my quarterly “fun with search terms” post where I highlight some of the most entertaining search terms that have brought people to my blog. After perusing the long list of terms that people typed into an internet search engine I always come away with one thought: People are idiots.

11. Top ten most painful things in the world: Apparently Google thinks that reading my blog is one of them. This or something close was one of the most popular searches that brought people to my blog lately.

10. Kim Kardashian boobs: Yup, I’ve got them right here. Just don’t tell Kanye.

9. Kim Jong Un Kardashian: Has she married him now? I can’t keep up with her husbands anymore.

8. Animals smoking weed: It’s not yet legal to sell marijuana in my state, to humans, so I opened up a side business to keep me afloat until my books really take off.

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7. Alaska women looking love: Well of course they would look here. I can’t blame them. Sorry ladies, I’m taken.  Hmmm….I’m getting another business idea though.

6.  Links to punch people through the screen: I wonder, are they looking to punch me specifically or just searching for information on the topic?

5. Top ten things you need in a zombie: I’m pretty sure that I don’t need anything in a zombie. Is there a really stringent list of qualifications for that job?

4. Should I work out my glutes? Yes. Yes you should.

3. Meerkats have swag: Yeah they do!

meerkat-mafia

2. horniestintheland.com: If you just put the web address into your browser just a list of related links comes up because no one apparently owns that domain name. If however you put “horniestintheland.com” into a Google search you get a list of posts from my blog. Click that Google link above. I did it for you.

1. Sexiest bloggers alive: I’m not sure which is more embarrassing; that somebody searched this term, or that I was the answer to it. Click on this to see what happens when you put that into Google. See who’s #1? How awesome is that?

I hope you noticed that in the spirit of giving and the holidays I did include not ten, but 11 funny search terms. You’re welcome. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. If you came here from the NSA, thanks for all you do keeping us safe and please share this at the office too. Have a great Saturday everybody! ~Phil

2013 Winners and Losers: Kim, Kanye, Phil, Miley and The Biebs

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I know not all of you are from the States but surely you’ll be familiar with at least some of these story lines:

Miley Cyrus: After Miley’s bawdy “twerking” demonstration with Robin Thicke at the VMA’s there was literally public outrage. Really everybody? We’re mad because she did a kind of weird, kind of sexy, kind of dance? I wasn’t alive in the 1950’s, but apparently everybody was so upset about some guy named Elvis moving his hips, the 50’s version of twerking, that the networks wouldn’t show his hips on TV. Remember the 1980’s when everyone was aghast about Madonna‘s sexual songs and revealing outfits? The network, the VMA’s and Robin Thicke were all in on this and everybody is calling Miley crazy. She’s crazy like a fox. Or maybe crazy like Charlie Sheen. We’re still talking about it and we all loved Wrecking Ball. Who wins? #MileyCyrus.

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Kanye West: This one was a battle of the titans. Kanye West vs. the Kardashians. Kanye won, but ultimately he will lose. Kanye won the baby name battle but he will lose the war. Dude was so desperate to revive his flagging career that he married a Kardashian. Kim changes husbands like I change my underwear, at least once a year. Mark my words, 2014 will see Kanye sent packing and baby North will take on the Kardashian name. If that happens, consider yourself lucky my friend. Look at what they did to Bruce Jenner. Kanye would have been better off changing his name to Kardashian. Does he even still make music anymore? Verdict: Loser.

Kim Jong Un: I tricked you when I put Kim in the title. Some of you may have missed this, but after his crazy dad died Kim Jong Un took over control of North Korea and just a couple weeks ago had his uncle killed just to consolidate his power. Dude has got some serious family issues. Stomping out dictators and global bad guys is like playing Whack-a-mole. Once you knock off one another one pops up to take his place. I’m not psychic but but I’m getting the feeling that Kim Jong Un  may have drones in his future, and not the ones delivering from Amazon. Kim Jong Un may think he’s winning, but before long history books will show that he is a loser.

Duck Dynasty

Phil Robertson and Duck Dynasty: I can’t believe the A&E network was shocked that an old redneck said bigoted things. My personal beliefs and politics aren’t the issue, but I am furious that you let him get away with sullying the good name of Phil. I’ve suspended him from Phil Club and he’s not getting back in. Ever. Who cares if the Duck Dynasty family walks off the set and never films another episdode? A&E, way to go caving in to a bunch of backwoods primadonnas. Way to set a precedent. As a network you have enough money and other shows to move on without Duck Dynasty and the Duck Dynasty family has enough money to walk away and not even miss the show.  Loser: A&E

Bieber

Justin Bieber: The Biebs had a rough 2013. In March he collapsed during a concert, attacked a photographer and in a tweet defending himself mocked Lindsay Lohan. He wrapped up his stellar March 2013 by spitting at a neighbor who had complained that #Bieber was driving too fast in their little neighborhood. In April while visiting the Anne Frank museum he actually wrote in the guest book, “Truly inspiring to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.” What an idiot. I’m sure she’d have followed The Phil Factor. Then in October the able bodied #Justin Bieber is criticized worldwide for having his bodyguards carry him up the stairs at the Great Wall of China. Finally about two weeks ago he announced his retirement. Retirement from what? Being a complete jerk? Just based on 2013 I’m tempted to attach the phrase ‘colossal asshat’ to The Biebs, but I believe the jury is still out. He’s a talented kid who is only 20 years old. If I were judged on my 20 year old self I’d call me a colossal asshat too. Ok #JustinBieber, you’ve screwed up one year, it’s up to you if you screw up the rest. Verdict: Only time will tell.

As always, if you’ve enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please his the Facebook or Twitter share button below and feel free to leave a comment here as well. You know Anne Frank would. Yeah, I know I said I’d post my New Years resolutions today. Apparently I lied. I’ll post those on Monday or Tuesday. Have a great weekend!