I’ve had some great interview subjects here on The Phil Factor, but today’s guest is certainly my most noteworthy. By now you’ve heard the brouhaha about the Sony Pictures movie The Interview. If you’ve been under a rock, The Interview is a movie about two bumbling tabloid
bloggers reporters who land an interview with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Prior to the interview they’re recruited by the C.I.A. to assassinate the dictator. Hi-jinks ensue. (go ahead, click the link. It’s really the C.I.A.’s website, where there is no mention of wanting to assassinate anyone)
Although the movie was intended as a comedy, understandably, some folks in North Korea were kind of upset about it. Surprisingly, Kim Jong Un was not one of them. When I ran into him at the froyo shop the other day, I asked and he agreed to this fictional Phil Factor interview to rehab his public image. As you can see below, he even smiled for a picture. (possibly his first smile ever) “I like smiling. Smiling’s my favorite,” he said.
TPF: Kim, Thanks for visiting The Phil Factor. So are the reports true? Is North Korea responsible for hacking into Sony’s computer system and for the threats of violence towards Sony and theaters that were to show the movie?
Kim: Dude! Are you kidding me? That shit is wack! I got better things to do. I’m running a frickin’ country. If you ask me, Sony is behind it. This is straight up, stone cold one of the best publicity stunts ever. You know they’re gonna release it again in a month or have some sort of alleged super-secret release scenario that everyone will fall for. You Americans are so dumb.
TPF: Wow Kim, I never thought of that. You’re smarter than the press gives you credit for. Your reputation however is that you’re perpetually angry and that you … ahem… eliminate anyone who crosses you. You can understand why everyone in the U.S. thinks North Korea is behind the Sony situation right?
Kim: Like I said, Sony is manipulating the press and the masses are idiots. I thought it was hilarious.
TPF: Wait! You’ve seen the movie?
Kim: Damn straight. As part of my agreement with Sony to allow them to use my name and likeness in the movie, I asked for a screening for me and my staff ahead of the American release. That Seth Rogen kills me. Well, no, not kills me, like in the movie plot. He’s funny. Me and Seth are homies, Also, he’s my supplier, if you know what I mean. That Franco kid, he kind of skeeves me out.
TPF: Kim, you are full of surprises. You’re a lot different than I thought you’d be. If there’s one surprising thing you’d want people to know about you, what is it?
Kim: Gangnam Style. I invented it.
TPF: What? The video, the dance, the song? You invented Gangnam Style?
Kim: Hells yeah I did! Me and Psy went to primary school together. We used to totally bust that move in the cafeteria every day for awhile. Here, look, here’s an old picture of me. If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.
Kim: Dude, seriously, me and Psy used to go clubbing all the time before I got into government.
TPF: Wow, Kim, you’re a lot different than I thought. And, you’re a lot different than the media portrays you. I hope a lot of people read this and it changes their perception of you.
Kim: Are you kidding me? A shit-ton of people are going to read this. The Phil Factor is huge in North Korea. That’s why I wanted you to interview me. I’m a big fan. I love your Bieber posts. That kid is an asshat.
TPF: Wait? What? I’m popular in North Korea? Why don’t I see that in my page view stats? It always tells me what country the readers come from.
Kim: Encrypted servers, duh? We’re North Korea. All those page views that come through encrypted servers are us.
TPF: Wow! That’s great to know Kim. Thanks! Before you go, can I get a picture with you?
Kim: Thanks Phil. It was awesome meeting. Thanks for getting the word out. You me and Seth will have to get together for a little…ahem…medicinal recreation next time I’m in town. Later homes.
Well, that was it. Me and Kim sat in the froyo shop for an hour. I can’t tell you some of the off the record stuff he told me, but give the dude credit, he likes gummy bears on his froyo and maybe he’s not the nutjob we all thought he was. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or re-blog buttons below, especially if you’re in North Korea. Have a great weekend! ~Phil