Tag Archives: horniestintheland.com

And You Thought Hillary Clinton’s E-Mails Might Be Bad?

This is my quarterly “Fun with Search Terms” post where I highlight the stupidest search terms that brought someone to my blog. If you come from outside the blog world to read this, I’ll explain. Those of us that operate a blog get all sorts of information about things, like how many people read our blog each day, what countries they come from, how they got to us, ie from Facebook, Twitter or Google, and we get to see the idiotic search terms they typed into Google that brought them to us. Trust me Hillary, feel free to show the world your secret e-mails. They can’t be more embarrassing than what some people have searched for.

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10. Kittens in snow talking: Who is leaving their kittens outside in the snow? I am calling the SPCA. Bring those kittens inside! Of course this brought people to my blog. Aren’t I always writing about kittens?

9. First man alive: I’m not saying if I am or I’m not, but my blog has been around for ten years, so I may have been the first man blogging.

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8. High Santa on weed: Instead of milk and cookies I leave Santa pot brownies.

7. Kimberly Taylor boobs: As you may have noticed, I almost never talk about family on The Phil Factor. I will neither confirm nor deny if I am related to Kimberly Taylor or her boobs.

6. Is there an I hate Oprah website? I have been proud of many accomplishments in my life. The fact that Google decided my blog was the answer to this question supersedes all previous accomplishments.

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5. Meerkat butts: Well who doesn’t love a tight little meerkat butt? They’re so cute.

4. Things that have happened on a Tuesday: That’s right, if it happens on a Tuesday you’ll find it documented here.

3. All nude perfect skinny ass backward nice: You know how in America every Chinese restaurant is named something like Grand Super China Incredible Dragon Buffet? This search term is like that but as if someone with English as a second language was looking for a strip club. And yes, my skinny ass looks backward nice.

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2. Horniestintheland.com: Go on, put that search term into Google. I’m not daring you. I insist that you do it. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Open a tab, put in Google.com, type horniestintheland.com. The first two search results are to The Phil Factor, right? Now try this: click “images” at the top of the Google page. It’s all pictures that have been on The Phil Factor! Google has officially decided that I am HorniestInTheLand! Should I add that to my LinkedIn profile?

1. Real sexting conversations to read in hindi: In just the last 30 days alone 53 people have used this search term and found my blog. Something strange regarding sexting in Hindi happened somewhere in the world. Either that, or I’m secretly embedding Hindi sexual innuendo in my blog posts. Only my Hindi friends will really know.

There you have it. My quarterly proof that there are certain people that probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote or operate a motor vehicle. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. The more times my nonsense gets shared the more ridiculous the Google search results will become. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Google Me This Batman!

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If this movie had been made a few years later I’m sure Jim Carrey’s character would have been The Googler. One of the biggest riddles is why does anyone sign into their Google account before searching for something?  I’m sure that’s a tremendous help to the NSA. (I’m also sure the NSA loves when I link my blog to their site) This is my quarterly “fun with search terms” post where I highlight some of the most entertaining search terms that have brought people to my blog. After perusing the long list of terms that people typed into an internet search engine I always come away with one thought: People are idiots.

11. Top ten most painful things in the world: Apparently Google thinks that reading my blog is one of them. This or something close was one of the most popular searches that brought people to my blog lately.

10. Kim Kardashian boobs: Yup, I’ve got them right here. Just don’t tell Kanye.

9. Kim Jong Un Kardashian: Has she married him now? I can’t keep up with her husbands anymore.

8. Animals smoking weed: It’s not yet legal to sell marijuana in my state, to humans, so I opened up a side business to keep me afloat until my books really take off.

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7. Alaska women looking love: Well of course they would look here. I can’t blame them. Sorry ladies, I’m taken.  Hmmm….I’m getting another business idea though.

6.  Links to punch people through the screen: I wonder, are they looking to punch me specifically or just searching for information on the topic?

5. Top ten things you need in a zombie: I’m pretty sure that I don’t need anything in a zombie. Is there a really stringent list of qualifications for that job?

4. Should I work out my glutes? Yes. Yes you should.

3. Meerkats have swag: Yeah they do!

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2. horniestintheland.com: If you just put the web address into your browser just a list of related links comes up because no one apparently owns that domain name. If however you put “horniestintheland.com” into a Google search you get a list of posts from my blog. Click that Google link above. I did it for you.

1. Sexiest bloggers alive: I’m not sure which is more embarrassing; that somebody searched this term, or that I was the answer to it. Click on this to see what happens when you put that into Google. See who’s #1? How awesome is that?

I hope you noticed that in the spirit of giving and the holidays I did include not ten, but 11 funny search terms. You’re welcome. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. If you came here from the NSA, thanks for all you do keeping us safe and please share this at the office too. Have a great Saturday everybody! ~Phil