Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance,
Well they’re no friends of mine ~ The Safety Dance, Men Without Hats 1982
That picture was found under a headline that read: Man Dies While ‘Gangnam Style’ Dancing. Don’t blame me though. I may have killer dance moves, but I’m not that good. The problem is, truth be told, I know I don’t have great dance moves. The problem for most people is, we don’t always know when we’ve gone from the safe, socially acceptable, not injuring myself or others moves, into the million hits on Youtube dance moves. None of us ever knows. Like a professional athlete, we all have different dance moves that we’ve perfected through the years and when the right opportunity presents itself we proudly display them with little to no insight about how we look or what our moves tell others about us. Here are a few of the categories and what they say about you:
The White Man Wedding Dance: This one is my groove. The little shuffle, one step left, then one step right. Hands held in loose fists in front of you barely moving. As long as you don’t bite your lower lip while doing it, you’re all good. What it says about you: I’m over 30, I can’t really dance and I’m smart enough to stay in my comfort zone. It also means you haven’t had much to drink yet. Add alcohol and the white man wedding dance turns into the…
This Used To Be My Decade Dance: I have a friend, who shall remain nameless here. He’s about 50. Apparently twenty-five years ago he was a big New Kids on the Block fan. I know this because after a few drinks at a bar he pulls out a spectacular, choreographed, NKOTB dance routine. He’s has got it down. You know people like this right? They request the band or club DJ play the only song they know how to dance to. Ladies do it too. I’ve seen way too many Madonna’s at wedding receptions. What it says about you: Like Elsa, you are frozen, but in time, in your high school/college decade.
The Lonely Lady Dance: Every wedding or party has a woman like this. She’s always the first on the dance floor pulling a girlfriend along with her. Sometimes she goes alone if no one will join her. No matter what the song, it could be a funeral dirge, she’s out there dancing her crazy head off as if she’s having the best time. She gestures to friends to join her. What it says about you: Trust me, in thirty years time she’ll be living with twenty cats and the kids will cross to the other side of the street when they pass her house. Attention seeking? Yes. Happy inside? Not even close.
The Line Dance Rain Man (or woman): There’s always a line dance Rain Man at every wedding. He or she requests the songs that they’ve spent hours learning from Youtube just for this occasion. Then they lead the crowd on the dance floor, never once looking back, imagining to themselves that everyone is following and admiring their moves.(If you’re too young to get the Rain Man reference, then I must be the This Is My Decade Movie Quoter Guy) What it says about you: Your achy breaky heart will be broken when you realize all your friends are laughing at you.
Drunk Dancer: I love this guy or girl. They’re the quiet, reserved person from the office that gets a couple drinks in them and dances completely, idiotically and un-self-consciously. They may not be good, but at least for a few minutes they’ve lost their usual social anxiety and are happy. What it says about you: You’ve got an inner wild man or woman dying to get out.
Dance like nobody is watching, and then hope that they’re not is my motto.So which one of the above is you? Or are there other types of dancers? If you’ve got some other funny ones, add them in the comments. And if you’re totally digging my groove you can share #ThePhilFactor by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil