What Your Dance Moves Say About You

Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind

Cause your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance,

Well they’re no friends of mine ~ The Safety Dance, Men Without Hats 1982

That picture was found under a headline that read: Man Dies While ‘Gangnam Style’ Dancing. Don’t blame me though. I may have killer dance moves, but I’m not that good. The problem is, truth be told, I know I don’t have great dance moves. The problem for most people is, we don’t always know when we’ve gone from the safe, socially acceptable, not injuring myself or others moves, into the million hits on Youtube dance moves. None of us ever knows. Like a professional athlete, we all have different dance moves that we’ve perfected through the years and when the right opportunity presents itself we proudly display them with little to no insight about how we look or what our moves tell others about us. Here are a few of the categories and what they say about you:

The White Man Wedding Dance: This one is my groove. The little shuffle, one step left, then one step right. Hands held in loose fists in front of you barely moving. As long as you don’t bite your lower lip while doing it, you’re all good. What it says about you: I’m over 30, I can’t really dance and I’m smart enough to stay in my comfort zone. It also means you haven’t had much to drink yet. Add alcohol and the white man wedding dance turns into the…

This Used To Be My Decade Dance: I have a friend, who shall remain nameless here. He’s about 50. Apparently twenty-five years ago he was a big New Kids on the Block fan.  I know this because after a few drinks at a bar he pulls out a spectacular, choreographed, NKOTB dance routine. He’s has got it down. You know people like this right? They request the band or club DJ play the only song they know how to dance to. Ladies do it too. I’ve seen way too many Madonna’s at wedding receptions. What it says about you: Like Elsa, you are frozen, but in time, in your high school/college decade.


The Lonely Lady Dance: Every wedding or party has a woman like this. She’s always the first on the dance floor pulling a girlfriend along with her. Sometimes she goes alone if no one will join her. No matter what the song, it could be a funeral dirge, she’s out there dancing her crazy head off as if she’s having the best time. She gestures to friends to join her. What it says about you: Trust me, in thirty years time she’ll be living with twenty cats and the kids will cross to the other side of the street when they pass her house. Attention seeking? Yes. Happy inside? Not even close.

The Line Dance Rain Man (or woman): There’s always a line dance Rain Man at every wedding. He or she requests the songs that they’ve spent hours learning from Youtube just for this occasion. Then they lead the crowd on the dance floor, never once looking back, imagining to themselves that everyone is following and admiring their moves.(If you’re too young to get the Rain Man reference, then I must be the This Is My Decade Movie Quoter Guy) What it says about you: Your achy breaky heart will be broken when you realize all your friends are laughing at you.


Drunk Dancer: I love this guy or girl. They’re the quiet, reserved person from the office that gets a couple drinks in them and dances completely, idiotically and un-self-consciously. They may not be good, but at least for a few minutes they’ve lost their usual social anxiety and are happy. What it says about you: You’ve got an inner wild man or woman dying to get out.


Dance like nobody is watching, and then hope that they’re not is my motto.So which one of the above is you? Or are there other types of dancers? If you’ve got some other funny ones, add them in the comments. And if you’re totally digging my groove you can share #ThePhilFactor by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

27 responses to “What Your Dance Moves Say About You

  1. Excellent! I’ve seen all these people (and maybe been some of them myself?) 😉

  2. Hilarious like really laugh out loud funny. I am concerned that my hip moves have moved into the Elsa category as well. Frozen in time… oh well, an A for effort. Keep on dancing even if people are watching. And have a great day at the party, Cheryl

  3. Oh so very accurate.

    I dance like a block of wood. This bod ain’t got no rhythm. None.

  4. Phil I love your philosophy
    I wonder what my dancing says about me
    I get up on the dance floor with greatest panache
    And bust out my moves, I headbang and mosh
    And make all other dancers run off in fear
    Even if the music is by Britney Spears.

  5. I’m dancing as fast as I can just to keep up with life.

  6. I think I’m Lonely Lady/ Drunk Dancer. I love to dance. I don’t need anyone to dance with me. I have a human husband, I am happy inside, all children and animals love me, and I only have three cats, thank you very much! 😛

    • Well I’m glad you specified that you have a human husband. I wouldn’t want you getting mixed up in that crazy animal husbandry I hear so much about. For the record, dancing for the sake of dancing because it feels good to do it is just fine by me.

  7. What about the Riverdance/Irish Dancer…not that I know anyone who does that and who ends up having a crowd of people around him cheering him on…naming no names 🙂

  8. Loved the video and the look on Will Smith’s face. Says it all.

  9. This is hilarious Phil! I’m more of a ‘frog in a blender’ style – arms and legs everywhere

  10. ‘Ooh! I like this one!’, ‘Ooh! I like this one!’ ‘Ooh! I love this one!’ ‘Nah, sit this one out.’ Up and down like a yoyo. Music mostly equals move. 🙂

  11. Especially when I’m dancing. 🙂

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