I know it’s hard to believe that I’m not yet a member of the Kardashian family. Here are the ten reasons why:
very obviously a legitimate photo
10. Kanye West. In the immortal words of Stan Lee, “nuff said.
9. The publicity: Obviously, I hate drawing attention to my self.
8. Kanye West
7. Because my parents weren’t Kardashians: Jeez, you people are kind of slow. Do I have to explain everything?
6. They haven’t gotten around to proposing to me yet: Truth be told, there’s only one I’d say yes to.
5. Kanye West
Me in my underwear with a pug. How great would that be?
4. Kris is single, but she’s too old for me: Because so many of you have clicked on and ordered my books (in the right sidebar) I am wealthy enough that I don’t need to go gold digging. In fact, the Kardashians are gold digging for me.
3. I want my own reality show: You hear that networks? I’m a one man show. I don’t need anyone else to bump up at the ratings. Have you looked at my blog stats?
2. Kanye West
Fortunately, I do get to read my own blog.
1. I’m too famous for the Kardashians: Once, because I’m a huge fan, I asked to be on their show. They turned me down because they feared my high brow audience would want more of me and less of them.
Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil